Love & Relationship:Would You Date Your Friend’s Ex?45 Comments

GC Staff
Posted on 14 Jun 2010 at 4:06pm

I know some, if not all of us, have been in positions where we thought our friend’s partner was extremely good-looking, almost hoping that we had got there to get the catch before our friend. However, would we go as far to actually go in for the kill once they broke up with our friend?

Personally, I think that’s wrong; I would never be able to date my girl’s ex- it would be like having her leftovers. Apart from that, there’s also the drama it would cause between you and your friend- who in their right mind would be ok with their friend dating their ex?http://ghanaceleb.chris.netdna-cdn.com/wp-includes/js/tinymce/plugins/wordpress/img/trans.gif

This area can be grey as opposed to black and white though because, I guess that a primary element is whether your friend still has feelings for their ex or not. However, I think that is completely irrelevant. If I broke up with an ex and even found myself in a new relationship, I would still be bothered about it if I realised that my “friend” was now dating him.

I would feel betrayed because the only thing I would be thinking is that my friend must have wanted him all the while when I was with him; in fact, thoughts of cheating would even creep into my head.

So loyal GC readers, let us know what’s up- is a friend’s ex off limits or free for all?




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  • dyna

    nope i wouldnt, it would not be a good look on my side plus it will depend on how close i am with my friend. unlike other women who dnt care but still their friends boyfriend, seduce them them force him to marry her a.ka julliet ibrahim.

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    Opanin Reply:

    @dyna,stay on the issue pls. tired of this Juliet Ibrahim issue. i don’t c how this issue has to do wit her.

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    Soul Sista Boateng Reply:

    @Opanin, innit tho…ppl always tryna flip it back 2 sumfin else…wot part of da article mentions Juliet Ibrahim????…kmt

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  • ghallday

    ‘second hand goods’  which my pal has  ‘used’ and left? NO. That’s a no-fly-zone for me. 

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    Opanin Reply:

    @ghallday,but if it’s somebody elses’ would u go for her? is it not the same second hand goods? come to think of it ,wht girl or guy has not dated b4. so at the end of the day every matured person u date is a ‘second hand goods’ b’cos somebody else had him/her first.

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    Alicia A. Reply:

    @Opanin,
    true!

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    shocker Reply:

    @Opanin, Ahhh opanin..lol..wu y3 opanin ampa…lol

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    Soul Sista Reply:

    @Opanin, couldn’t have put dat betta maself Opanin

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    babe Reply:

    well opanin, u might be right but please stick to the question, the underlined word was “UR FRIEND”.Ofcourse we all date second hand goods but most of the times we dont even know dem as much as we know our friends.
    TO me i think its very WRONG.Thats my opinion, the FACT IS its SOO WRONG TO DO THAT.

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    ghallday Reply:

    @Opanin, Opanin, true talk. But from that of my friend? That is too close to home. If it’s my friend’s ex paaa? No that one I will pass. Friends, fair enough but not dating.

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  • angel

    my best friend is actually in this dilemma.
    its like 2 best friends(guys of course) become friends with my friend. one decides to make a move and gets to date my friend for 7yrs whilst staying very good friends with the other guy. 2yrs after splitting up the other guy claims he was first interested but had to back out when he realised his friend beat him to it.
    the guy is damn serious and it gets tricky for my friend cos she is best mates with this guy, she doesnt mind dating him as they’ve grown to know each other. but my friend has the feeling she’ll be judged for dating her ex best mate.
    it gets worse as the guy has proposed to her….am like she should follow her heart but am not sure if am being a good friend.

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    ghallday Reply:

    @angel, She should back off. She’s treading on thin ice. Everntually the dude will take a swipe at her with accusations and insinuations that will leave her speechless. She may as well ‘follow her heart’ and face the troubles later. That’s the way we learn ‘innit’ lol

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    @get ur ex back Reply:

    @angel, Angel, your advice is very good as a friend. Of course, what friend wants is the happiness of her friend. If being that is what make your friend happy, she should follow her heart. Just let her make sure, if the guy’s intention is for real!

    That’s what are friends are for!

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  • Soul Sista

    I am REALLY luvin dese love & relationship discussions GC…i fink its a really sick way 2 get ur readers involved n all da topics are very interesting stuff…I rate the author…Madam Regina well done…GC keep it up guys

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  • Soul Sista

    N e wyz me personally yeah…it wud all depend on how close I am 2 dis “friend”…if it’s sum1 I’ve known for more than a month then uh-uh…definitely off limits…even if he lukd like Kevin-Prince…ok maybe if he lukd like KPB I wud reconsider (nah joke lol)…nah if its sum1 I’ve known longer than a month then their man is off limits BUT…if it’s a chick I’ve known like less than a month…then if I want…I’ll take lol…I dun care if dat sounds deep cos 2 me…less dan a month 8nt even dat long 2 build a friendship so in my eyes…I wudnt owe her nuffin

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    angel Reply:

    @Soul Sista,

    i c…its not just me thinking KPB is hot then…i fink Abeyie is hot hot, yummy!

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  • chaoes

    it not fair ,and i dont thinck a ghanain will do that>

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    babe Reply:

    chaoes, U r soo right.its wrong to do that to a frind.

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  • pretti kobe

    well i fucked ,my best friend’s girl friend and i was so soo guilty wehn i see my friend ,and the girl wanna more sex but i snored her cos i was feel bad till now ! SO IT VERY BAD TO DO THAT …shhh it a secret tho/

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    pretti kobe Reply:

    @pretti kobe, ooops bad english !corrections well i fucked my best friend’s girl friend and i was so soo guilty when ever i see my friend.but his girl want to make love with me again and i snubed her always, cos i feel bad when ever i made a move …SO I THINCK IS very BAD TO DO THAT …it a secret tho !

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    Opanin Reply:

    @pretti kobe,the diff is dat this time, she was still with ur friend. we are talking abt when they’re no more together,exes…………

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    pretti kobe Reply:

    @Opanin, lol if ex or not is still B.A.D

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    Opanin Reply:

    @pretti kobe,i feel u

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  • kobe

    you dont deserve the name kobe ,kobe’s are not like that !

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    Soul Sista Reply:

    @kobe, loooool

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  • Naa Botor

    I will never do that to my friend. Not for anything in this world.

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  • http://yahoomail NASHA

    WELL FROM MY POINT OF VIEW,I SEE NOTHING WRONG IN DATING YOUR EX’S FRIEND,MY BOY MET ME AND DIDNT KNOW I WAS DATING HIS FRIEND,HE EXPRESSED INTEREST IN ME AND WAS TOLD AM HIS FRIEND WAS SEEING ME SO HE BACKED OF IMMEDIATELY,LATERHIS FRIEND DUMPED ME FOR MY GOOD FRIEND,I BROKE DOWN,IT WASNT EASY FOR ME.THAT WAS WHEN MY BOYFRIEND CAME BAK INTO THE PICTURE AND BELIEVE ME READERS WE NEVER REGRETTED IT.HE WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPEND TO ME,AND THIS IS OUR FAVOURITE SONG ”YOU STILL THE ONE”..

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  • Caro

    MY OPINION IS THAT ÍT DEPENDS HOW THE RELATIONSHIP TO UR FRIEND IS.IF HE OR SHE IS A GOOD FRIEND THEN U SHOULDN´T BUT IF NOT THEN I THINK YOU CAN OR U ASK UR FRIEND WHAT HE OR SHE THINKS ABOUT IT.

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  • MiMi

    its not a big deal. the way i see it they are no longer together and its every one’s games. always wht if tht person is ur soul mate and your better half created specially for you! will you serious not date him because of ur friend? what if ur friend was just a means for you to knw him.

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  • May

    interesting comments…so far I havent got into a situation of dating a friends ex..and I wouldnt want to…then it means i dont want to be friends with my friend again…it is wrong my consciousness will not allow me to have a good and a healthy relationship…i cant just ignore the fact that my friend has been with him before….so a question to those who have commented that it is not a big deal, will you be okey that ur friend get together with ur ex?…

    eh pls dont correct my english oh…i am not brofonyo…thats all i can..

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  • Opanin

    finally, lemme put down wht i think. your friends ex? ayt, first off, friendship is a bond.once u’re friends with some1,u share a lot together.u laf, cry, moan etc.therefore if u go for your friends ex, it brings a lot of ackwardness into your friendship expecially when the three of u are together. theres also the trust thing, can u live the two of dem alone, can u trust your friend not to stage a comeback, can your friend trust u, can this person trust u not to go for his/her friend??? all these and more makes this situation not rite.on the other hand,if u think your friendship is not that important as your “happiness” dem go ahead,kick friendship to the curb and enjoi ur new romance.

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  • NANA ARTHUR KENNEDY

    I will never make that kind of mistake.why should l have to dates my friends ex-lover.lt will even bring a kind of enmity between us.who are friends?sometimes we turn to get closer to our friends even more than our own parent and siblings.we built these friendship on a solid rock years ago when we were kids,and should l have to allow a woman to jeopardize these bond?never, l will do everything possible to avoid these mistake

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  • http://facebook Naa

    well!! fair enough, hmmm dating your friends ex? wowh it haapend to me, i was going out with a friends ex, he was having comfort in my arms, my friends said she dislike the guy and feel no passionate for him so he came for counceling from me before we could say jark we were in love, yea, well has been the best thing in my life he is very handsome that you can’t do away with so concerning is issue at task i will say its no rubbing going out with your friends ex it depends.??

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  • SALLY

    c nufin wrong with dat if u broke up with ur ex on a gud note. but if u were nauty believe me ur ex’s best friend will handle you like rag

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  • wastus

    will never do that to someone i call a friend

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brian-MiYagi-Berchie/1544982611 Brian MiYagi Berchie

    Best friends share a special bond that has been tested through many years of friendship. Yet friendships are often full of twists and turns that once surpassed can without a doubt strengthen a relationship between best friends. Falling in love with a best friend’s girlfriend is generally one of those forbidden topics that draw out images of betrayal and disloyalty that is unheard of in friendships. Although, most of the time men are generally dismissive regarding issues about their best friend’s girlfriends.Many men see girlfriends as hindrances to having a good time with their best bud. Girlfriends end up becoming a threat to the friendship and are often hated for being a wet blanket. But what happens when a man’s best friend has suddenly got a heavenly girlfriend? And the girlfriend that was once a threat becomes the forbidden fruit. Falling in love with a best friend’s girlfriend is the true test of friendship that can easily go either way. Fight the Feeling of Falling in Love with a Best Friend’s Girlfriend A man who falls in love with a best friend’s girlfriend sometimes cannot help but do so. As luck would have it, the girl possesses all the qualities that would make her an ideal mate unfortunately she is already taken. Although the answer is quite obvious that friends should keep away from a best friend’s girlfriend, many still wonder what to do in these situations. Interfering in a best friend’s romantic relationship is unthinkable. The unwritten code of honor forbids it. Men usually have a mutual understanding with regards to relationships with girlfriends. Because of this most men would not risk losing a lifetime friendship over a girlfriend. Men of honor fully understand the value of friendship and would not jeopardize a friendship. Even ex-girlfriends are considered off limits, as most men hate the awkward situation created by dating a best friend’s ex-girlfriend. 

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  • BOS

    there is no doubt this is a very delicate issue, that is why a lot of people wld rather just avoid this whole situation. it is much easier for people to deal with this situation by using a certain “unwritten rule” but anybody who has really been in love before knows no rule can stop you if the feeling is real. the rule will only make some people TRY to ignore their feelings and others will do it behind their friend’s back. yes my friend may have gone out with him first but obviously if they were meant to be together, they wldnt be exes. i think it is very unfair bcos my friend will one day find her soul mate and i will never be able to be with my soul mate because he once dated my friend.

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  • abena

    well i’ve never commented but will comment on this because i ve seen it happened and it worked so well. A friend’s man dumped her in a very severe painfull and disgraceful situation. at this time a guy dey both called a family friend also girlfriend has also cheated and got pregnant for another man. i think dey ( da 2 victims) found comfort in each other. da family friend later proposed to my friend. initially she wasn’t sure whether he wanted to use her for a ride as she felt venerable. lo and behold, the guy was serious and had a very big and fantastic wedding with my friend and dey r da best couples i know off. yea my friend ex wasn’t happy but hey he dumped her she didn’t dump him and he is still with the gal he dumped her for. however, he’s going around telling every1 his mate has snatched his woman all because he wanted to come back and my friend refused to accept. so people, u never know, as some1 said, s/he might be your soul mate and ur friend might be da way for u to meet.

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  • afua

    I wouldnt that is just wrong and not right 
    i wouldnt like it my friend dated my ex 

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  • beka

    ok i need help help here it happened to me.my boyfriend was fuckin around and he seem not so serious about me which his friend tried talking to him but it seems he was not listening.his friend tried telling him to calm down with de women and settle down with me cos ai am calm all the good things in a woman.he did not listen so i had to break up with him.then de friend propose to me for his friend has been my bestfriend for a long time b4 i met my boyfriend so he had secretly fell in love with me for a long time with me knowing we end up marring with a baby boy now so at times it depends on the sitiuation dat comes b4 de breakup

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  • beka

    let me correct somethings out here there were some mistake in my first post.I did not know the friend was in love with me until i broke up with my boyfriend.some it happenes in a good way and ithers it does not

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  • http://jampochi.multiply.com jampochi

    i think..it depends.

    if it is your BESTFRIEND that we’re talking about, then it’s a no go.
    but if it’s just an acquaintance, why the hell not?

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  • Bernard

    FOR ME I DO NOT EASILY HAVE OR COME BY THE WORD FRIEND BUT IF I CHOSE ANY ONE AS A FRIEND, I WILL NEVER HAVE ANY THING TO DO WITH HIS INTIMACY, PAST OR PRESENT, COUNT ME OUT BRO.

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  • beatrice

    i will never my frend Ex

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  • beatrice

    i will never date my friend Ex is upseen never ever

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