Love & Relationship Advice: My Best Friend’s Wife Has Jilted Me & Can’t Stop Thinking About Her…Please Help Me!8 Comments

Chris-Vincent A. Febiri
Posted on 30 Aug 2010 at 10:10am

Dear GC Readers,

I’m in my thirties and married with one child. I have to confess that I’m in love with my best friend’s wife. I told her how I feel sometime ago and she also starting to move closer to me. We used to talk for hours every day and we’ve kissed each other few times.

Suddenly I don’t know what has happened as she has started ignoring me by not replying my messages and calls. When ever she speaks to me she says that she’s not ignoring me.  Now because of this am not able to concentrate on my work as well as spend quality time with my family.

Now that I have decided to come out of this situation, I’m always thinking about her.  I can’t forget about her and she is always on my mind. Please advice how I can get out of this.

She is also my wife’s friend and she comes with her husband to our place regularly and we do go out as group at least once in week.

Please advise me as I need to come out of this ASAP or I may become mad…

SSN

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Dear SSN,

I want to believe that part of the angst you are feeling is because she appears to have made a decision to move on. So I am not surprised you feel you are ‘loosing it’. We always want what we can’t have, that is a fact. You are anxious because she has moved on.

I would urge you strongly to stand back from your situation and be honest with the situation and to yourself. What you need to ask yourself is what you yourself would say to a friend in the same situation.

What is all this really all about? Was the affair because of lust? Curiosity?  Dissatisfaction in your own marriage? Figure this out so you know why it bothers you so much that she has ended the affair.

From what you are saying, your family must mean something to you as you say you are trying to spend quality time with them. However, affairs always end up out in the open at some point no matter how long it takes to come out. You are putting this time with your family at risk with this affair.

In all honesty I would say this woman you were seeing has made a conscious decision to stop the affair and move on. The more you push her for answers the less regard she will have for you. She has no obligation to explain anything that is what she owes to her family.

My advice to you is to take pride in what you already have. The nature of your relations with your friends’ wife cannot lead no where satisfying for either of you. If she suddenly decides to start talking to u again it’s probably just to see how high you jump when she says ‘jump’. So once again take pride.

Best of luck.

Regards,

Ms. A.K  from GC XXX

Send all your relationship & Love  probs to me via tips@ghanacelebrities.com


Chris-Vincent A. Febiri

Chris-Vincent is a Freelance Blogger/Writer, Founder and Editor of GhanaCelebrities.Com. He is a “witty” writer who wrote several award winning articles/debates during his Secondary School days at Adisadel College. To develop his writing skills, studied Communication as a major with Sociology and Law at Newham College Of Further Education, London. Currently, he holds a degree in Law (LLB), Diploma in Para Legal and, he is a postgraduate Law student majoring in International Human Rights... He is the author of the popular eBook 'Success Is A Right, Not A Privilege'. He also blogs at www.TopVincent.Com. BBM pin: 7C7331B2. Remember "absence of evidence is not evidence of absence".... Click Here To Hire Me



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  • http://www.noirgossip.com KTGalloway

    It definately IS hard to be in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same. Moving on is the best thing you can do. You still think about her because you have feelings for her. Things will only get worse if you keep pushing it, trust me. Be there for the family you do have, you are married and should work to make that relationship the ideal one if you love your wife.

    Ppl always want what they can’t have-ha, I agree. Some take it anyway, and some push others to those people in waiting. Never open your whole heart in relationships, you will just get burned if you do.

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  • elena babe

    AHHHH ARE YOU NOT ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.I AM ASKING AGAIN ARE YOU NOT ASHAME FOR POSTING SOMETHING LIKE THIS HERE.DO YOU THINK WE ARE BOUNCH OF KIDS HERE.ARE YOU NOT EVEN ASHAME TO SAY YOUR BEST FRIEND.DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORD BEST AND FREIND.

    YOU HAVE THE GUST AS A MARRIED MAN WITH A KID AND FAMILY FRIENDS TO TELL YOUR BEST FRIENDS WIFE THAT YOU LOVE HER AND EVEN WENT ON TO KISS HER.(i suppose you have not done the bombom yet ah.)

    LET ME TELL YOU, THE LADY HAS MOVE ON SO PLEASE GET YOUR ASS OVER IT.WHAT IS THIS OUR WORLD TURNNIG INTO.YOUR VERY BEST FRIENDS WIFE.SO WHAT WERE YOUR INTENSIONS.FOR YOU TO BE SLEEPING SECRETLY OR YOU DEVORCE YOUR WIFE THEN SHE ALSO DEVORCE HER HUSBAND.FEELINGS ARE MEANT TO BE EXPRESSED BUT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT THE SITUATION AND LEARN TO CONTROL YOURSELF.YOU WERE NOT EVEN SUPPOSE TO PROPOSE TO YOR FRIENDS WIFE.

    YOU ARE TELLING US TO TELL YOU HOW TO CONTROL YOURSELF.DID YOU ASK US TO GIVE YOU SWEET LOVE WORDS TO PROPOSE TO HER OR HOW TO KISS HER.wonko wode a, wonko nne.LET ME TELL YOU I DONT KNOW AND YOU CAN GO AND BURN THE SEA OR GO MAD OVER YOUR BEST FREINDS WIFE.MARRIAGE IS SOMETHING THAT WE MUST ALL CHERISH AND RESPECT.I BELIEVE WE SHOULD NOT SUPPORT SUCH BEHAVIOURS AT ALL.I KNOW IT IS VERY COMMON BUT LET US ALL TRY AND RESPECT IT.IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY IN YOUR MARRIAGE SEEK DEVORCE AND BE FREE THAN TO BE FLIRTING AROUND.THE CURSE IS HUGE.

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    Mamy Reply:

    @elena babe,

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    Mamy Reply:

    @elena babe, My dear Elena Babe, you are sooo right about the issue!!
    if all ladies would stand up to the right thing like the best friend’s wife did, we all will have less problems with keeping our men, They would come back home since nobody is willing to take them!

    [Reply]

    elena babe Reply:

    @Mamy, MAMY IM GLAD YOU ALSO SUPPORT ME.THIS MAN
    IS NOT A SERIOUS MAN.THIS IS A WARNING TO SOME PEOPLE WHO ARE INTO FRIENDS MATTER.PLEASE BEWARE OF SUCH FRIENDS.THEY PRETEND TO BE GOOD BUT INSIDE THEY ARE NOTHING BUT THE DEVIL HIMSELF.I DONT LIKE MUCH FRIENDS BECAUSE MY SISTER, SOME ARE VERY VERY BAD LIKE THIS ONE.

    AND TO US LADIES.THIS IS A WARNING TO US.PLEASE WE SHOULD NOT ALLOW MEN WHO ARE NOT SERIOUS COME AND SPOIL OUR GOOD HOMES.BEWARE AND LOVE YOUR HUSBAND.THEY ARE SOO MANY CASSINOVA’S AROUND.ESPECIALLY THEOSE WHO CLAIM TO BE GOOD FRIENDS.WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL WITH BOTH MALE FRIENDS AND FEMALE FRIENDS.

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  • MiMi

    it is good tht she has come to her senses and ignoring you. just take it like tht and move on. just put urself in ur friends shoes, how will u feel if you best friend is in love with ur wife and want her, kisses her and all tht? TREAT OTHERS HOW U WANT TO BE TREATED!!!!!! ALSO DON’T TRY AND DESTROY WHT GOD HAS PUT TOGETHER!!! PLEASE TRY AND OVERCOME THIS LUST.

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  • ghallday

    Ei SSN why?!  She is somebody’s wife…not just anybody but YOUR BEST FRIENDs. I can’t believe what am reading. You can do that to somebody you call your best friend? What if your little secret  comes out and it ruins her marriage? Then of course your best friend would hate you for life and you will end up losing your wife too. So is that all worth it?  I think we both know the answer to that. 

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  • Opanin

    ei, it’s hard o, your best friends wife paaa.masa u have a wife stick to her and leave somebodys wife alone. how can u be that greedy, and u talk of this preventing u frm spending quality tym wif your family.do u undastand quality tym, does it include fondling her friend who happens to be your best friends wife behind her bak, or thinking about her friend when u’re supposedly spendin dat quality tym wif her?

    boss, the lady has seen how stupid u guys are being and has decided to move on,get that into your thick skull and leave her the hell alone.

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