Weekly Discussion, Let’s Get Talking: Marrying Outside One’s Religion? Would You Ever Do That?

Over the weekend, Sulley Ali Muntari (Muslim) married his long term girlfriend “Menaye Donkor” (Christian) in Accra.

Despite how happy the couple appeared and not to talk of how long they have been together, various people are of the view that Sulley as a practising Muslim should have married within his religion.

Marriage I believe goes beyond religion; what matters most is your happiness and compatibility.

Many have valid and alternative reasons why it is not ideal to marry outside your religion. Scratch modernisation, education and all its associates, to some people marrying outside your religion is a big No to them.

  • What do you think about inter-religious marriages?
  • Who carries the burden to convert?
  • Would you ever marry outside your religion?
  • If yes, under what conditions will you go into the marriage?
  • Would you convert as a result of inter-religious marriage?
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Commenting Guidelines & Rules

Sylvanus Bedzrah says:

I dont know why the Moslems rather force the Christian to ‘TUBA’ under circumstances like this. I will marry her if I really love her, irrespective of her religion but I will not TUBA, unless she ‘BATU’ or we keep our separate religions and keep the rules of the marriage together.

GoldenGurl says:

To be honest I don’t think I would but I know ppl that have and are very ok and happy. I do feel that the woman is likely to have to convert unless the man is very and I mean VERY liberal for him to allow her to stay in her own religion. It makes sense though. As a women by most cultures you are expected to take all from your father, his name, his religion and in some cases his money for your wedding…so when you marry you loose his name, access to his money and so therefore if you are not the same religion as your hubby get ready to convert. I dont think there is any burden if there is choice and it’s been discussed. If he has made it clear he wants to do so you have a know he means it so as the woman you agree and are happy it’s all good. My half sister did this, my Pops is muslim and my half sister married a Pastor! So obviously she converted, changed her name EVERYTHING and she hasn’t looked back since, she happy so far as I know so I guess it does work. Good thought provoking topic Chris! 

Kin says:

i agree with you, most cultures expect the woman to be the more open to change, what happened to your picture?

Taliban says:

@miss dior; it is not true that moslims don’t marry christians as a rule. it is allowed in Islam for a man to marry a non moslem but a woman can’t marry a non moslem. However, an extremist in islam will try to avoid a non moslem woman totally.

miss dior says:

Well thank you for the clarification.

miss dior says:

No way am i marrying out of my religion no matter how much money the guy has, as a christian i want to marry a guy in the same faith as me,am wondering if she converted to islam, since moslems dont marry christians. And one other thing how come moslems are able to convert their christian partners all the time but christians when they marry moslems cannot convince them enough to do the same?

Adjoa nbaaso) says:

I dont think its a big deal to marry from a different religion.Well, the first thing is to accept your differences and then work it out afterwards.Anyway its sometimes best to learn your partners language if you cant speak.

Kin says:

I agree with you. It is sooooooooo Paramount. My dad learned Twi to woo my mum, Im sure she would have not given him a second thought if he did not show a desire to learn the language.

frempomah says:

it is not even easy to marriage someone from different church. my husband is a catholic and i’m pentecostal, but after 7 years with 3 kids it hard for me to warship in catholic church because the way warship goes. when it comes to marriage someone from different religion, love it not enough. because marriage needs spiritual, body and soul to make it work. not just i love u, and even if the guy accept the girl the way she is or she accept him the he is what about the 2 family? different religion and culture. this is Africa u don’t just marriage the man or the woman, but u marriage the entire family. this means the 2 family have to participate every occasions and how u will coupe with different religion and believe. example: Mulism believes that, burried dead person with 24hrs, he has the right to marriage 4 women, fast for 30 during the Ramadan and cover your hair when u marriage. in Christianity it is not by false to buried dead person with 24 hrs, fasting is by your choice, the man can only marriage 1 woman, and the bible says cover your hair only when u are praying. and which religion the kids would know? they get tone between 2 world. my advice to everybody is that marriage someone from religion because marriage needs spiritual to survive not just love

gemAfrican says:

I know exactly what you mean. I am pentecostal and I married a Presby guy eyes wide open due to being head over heals in love. I attended the classes to learn more an all that but if not for the love Im telling you, there were times that I cried for the Pencostal style of prayer, I couldn’t even speak in toungues because they don’t believe in it(that has to be the hardest part because it was so important for me b4 him),the formal and very rigid nature of Presby even the reading hymns from a book is just—-hard.

But like you I agree that religion is needed to survive love, they are the unofficial family counselors in our Ghanaian society.

Kin says:

* What do you think about inter-religious marriages?
* Who carries the burden to convert?——————-I think the woman does, I wish someone would interview Kalsoum Sinare about how she and Tony Baffoe broke through cause I’ve heard he converted to Islam to marry her back in the day and they have kids so, considering how long they’ve been married(10yrs). She would be a great resource about this compromise

* If yes, under what conditions will you go into the marriage? ———-as long as our kids are raised to learn all religions for them to decide, I’d totally go in for it

* Would you convert as a result of inter-religious marriage?—--absolutely, look its not new in Africa, think of all the people that are a mixture of more than one tribe, its a beautiful thing, so why not with religion.

madam social says:

this is a tough issue for one to face but i think it all depend on da couple. each can still practice his/her religion w/out converting.

Weapon-X says:

Marrying outside your religion can be crucial unless both s*xes can agree on their social terms before they marry. But both should not abandon where he or she came from especially Christians. Trust me, it’s not easy to marry outside your religion.

Anyways, I wish my lady Menaye Donkor the best long marriage. 

shout out to my homie Miyagi. That’s really good point there man.

Miyagi says:

One love bro 

Miyagi says:

Well I suppose there’s no point in engaging in courtship with someone when one’s religion says you can’t marry that person to begin with This is on his mind when he suddenly acts as if he doesn’t know you out in public when he thinks he’s seen someone from his own church.This is a serious issue and needs to be resolved NOW not later. It’s too early to be thinking about marriage, but not too early to work out your religious differences. She is the one that’s going to have to make a tough choice anyway She’s going to have to choose between you or her church I see he’s the one who wants you to covert. Well, between the way he shuns you in public and the fact she’s demanding that you convert for her rather than the other way around, makes it obvious that her “love” for you is conditional. Love, the kind two people are supposed to feel towards each other when getting married is UNCONDITIONAL love.Right now she doesn’t have it -- but it’s early still. What’s more disturbing is that she doesn’t seem the least bit interested in loving you unconditionally that is unless you convert in which case her love is anything but unconditional.Don’t marry a person who does not love you unconditionally Frankly I would break off any relationship until she comes to her senses and becomes more tolerant of you and your Faith.The Bible never RESTRICTS anyone from marrying OUTSIDE any particular church: That rule was never MADE! But bullying Pastors and Priests fearful of possibly LOSING a church member (instead of being POSITIVE and hoping to ADD a member) make their OWN RULES which Jesus said they make laws “like a millstone” around our necks! But the Bible has quite a few guidelines for people that DO marry an “unbeliever” (one who does NOT believe in God at all!)  It also has divorce rules for fairness in case an unbeliever refuses to allow the believer to worship their GOD So  marrying outside of ONE church is not sin marrying an unbeliever is not SIN but inadvisable Yet God says that the divided household is blessed by the ONE that IS a believer, and their children are also covered 

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