I live with my boyfriend of three years and I now have a dilemma. My younger sister has recently had a huge fight with my mom who she lives with and she is asking to move in with me until she can find a place for herself. My mum and sister have fought before but this time it’s war and I know they will not recover.
I wouldn’t say my sister and I are like best friends but we are close so I want to be there for her. I really don’t think my boyfriend would mind as he has of course met my sister on many occasions and they get on quite well. My issue is that I don’t know how this would work and I feel so insecure about the situation.
My sister is very feisty and very forward she used to live with her friend but they fell out after her friend said she was getting too close to her boyfriend.
I don’t know the full story and I’m not saying this is true but I know my sister can be quite flirty with men.
During the Christmas meal I had to give her evils when she was over flirting with our cousins’ boyfriend at our family gathering. My sister just doesn’t have enough boundaries and is too carefree.
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My issue is I know she has no where to go and my mom wants her out now so I can’t turn her down but at the same time I can see this turning into drama.
My boyfriend and I have gone home to visit my parents and my sister will come out in just her towel to greet us, which I guess is no biggie, it’s her home but she is just someone who lives by her own rules.
I can see her pulling stunts like that while she is living with me and not thinking anything is wrong. It’s not that I don’t trust my guy but I’m sorry a man is a man. I really don’t know what to do.
I can definitely see your dilemma here and I can see how you are finding it difficult to decide. What you need to do is be a bit more realistic about the situation.
You have pointed out all the scandalous things you sister may or may not have done but this is only one side of her. Surely there are some positives that can better help you make a decision.
If you focus on what could possibly happen you could end up turning your back on her for no reason.
You definitely can’t change who your sister is but what you can do is lay down some no nonsense boundaries and rules. Let her know you love her and you will support and help her but if she messes up, she’s out.
Establish how long she wants to stay, what she can do to help while she stays and what you won’t tolerate. The rest is just what comes with living with family as we all know.
I can see that your main issue is the fact that even though she is your sister, we woman are territorial with our men no matter who the other woman is. You are worried that one day you will come home early from work and walk in on something between your sister and your boyfriend.
Don’t let your imagination run away with you, not all situations like yours end up the way they do in all those African movies. You need to give your sister and your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt and step back a bit.
Don’t let your paranoia stress you out, how would your sister or boyfriend feel if they get to know the reason you said no is because you are being insecure.
Your saving grace is you are not married so if he does betray you, it will hurt a lot less than being in a marriage and not being able to walk away.
Maybe this is a chance for you to see how your man is around the woman you have in your life.
Best of Luck.
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