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Love & Relationship: My Sister Has To Move In With Boyfriend & I, I Am Worried As My Sister Is Extra Flirty & Has A Damaging Past….

Dear GC,

I live with my boyfriend of three years and I now have a dilemma. My younger sister has recently had a huge fight with my mom who she lives with and she is asking to move in with me until she can find a place for herself. My mum and sister have fought before but this time it’s war and I know they will not recover.

I wouldn’t say my sister and I are like best friends but we are close so I want to be there for her.  I really don’t think my boyfriend would mind as he has of course met my sister on many occasions and they get on quite well. My issue is that I don’t know how this would work and I feel so insecure about the situation.

My sister is very feisty and very forward she used to live with her friend but they fell out after her friend said she was getting too close to her boyfriend.

I don’t know the full story and I’m not saying this is true but I know my sister can be quite flirty with men.

During the Christmas meal I had to give her evils when she was over flirting with our cousins’ boyfriend at our family gathering. My sister just doesn’t have enough boundaries and is too carefree.

My issue is I know she has no where to go and my mom wants her out now so I can’t turn her down but at the same time I can see this turning into drama.

My boyfriend and I have gone home to visit my parents and my sister will come out in just her towel to greet us, which I guess is no biggie, it’s her home but she is just someone who lives by her own rules.

I can see her pulling stunts like that while she is living with me and not thinking anything is wrong. It’s not that I don’t trust my guy but I’m sorry a man is a man. I really don’t know what to do.

………………………………………………………………………….

Dear Lola,

I can definitely see your dilemma here and I can see how you are finding it difficult to decide. What you need to do is be a bit more realistic about the situation.

You have pointed out all the scandalous things you sister may or may not have done but this is only one side of her. Surely there are some positives that can better help you make a decision.

If you focus on what could possibly happen you could end up turning your back on her for no reason.

You definitely can’t change who your sister is but what you can do is lay down some no nonsense boundaries and rules. Let her know you love her and you will support and help her but if she messes up, she’s out.

Establish how long she wants to stay, what she can do to help while she stays and what you won’t tolerate. The rest is just what comes with living with family as we all know.

I can see that your main issue is the fact that even though she is your sister, we woman are territorial with our men no matter who the other woman is. You are worried that one day you will come home early from work and walk in on something between your sister and your boyfriend.

Don’t let your imagination run away with you, not all situations like yours end up the way they do in all those African movies. You need to give your sister and your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt and step back a bit.

Don’t let your paranoia stress you out, how would your sister or boyfriend feel if they get to know the reason you said no is because you are being insecure.

Your saving grace is you are not married so if he does betray you, it will hurt a lot less than being in a marriage and not being able to walk away.

Maybe this is a chance for you to see how your man is around the woman you have in your life.

Best of Luck.

SassyChic!

Send all your relationship & Love  probs to me via [email protected]



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10 thoughts on “Love & Relationship: My Sister Has To Move In With Boyfriend & I, I Am Worried As My Sister Is Extra Flirty & Has A Damaging Past….”

  1. Hmmmmmm dilema indeed! Well you know what you should let her stay! You can’t protect your man from cheating so yea this is defo a test for him! Hope it all works out!

    Reply
  2. Girl, I wouldnt give this a second thought in anyway.Its a straight forward answer, and its a no.This is the time you need to respect your instincts and make that bold decision.Remember, this is no “try your luck business”, but def. matters of the heart and I bet you dont wanna play with it.I believe “a flirt is always a flirt’ and therefore should be treated as one .So far as she doesn’t have limits as to where to play, so should you also not be scared to make a bold decision.Remember she was able able to try it on your cousin not long ago, and that alone doesn’t leave you an exception.Ofcourse she is your sister, one blood, and everything, that we know but looks like she doesn’t really care when she is in her flirting mood.I would suggest you find her some other place to stay or speak with any family relative on her behalf so she can move in.After everything is settled, she then needs to go ask for forgiveness from your mother so life can go on peacefully.

    Reply
  3. let her stay if you really trust your man but hmmmm, considering her history with other ppl’s men, you shouldnt let her stay for too long.
    pls, i dont know how long is “long” in this situation ooo. it’s all in your hands.

    Reply
    • Trust?…..No offense B.B. but no matter how faithful a man is don’t bring certain girls like Lola sister in your home. Even, if the man ain’t willing to cheat, Lola sister will cause HUGE problem. Remember, a homewrecker does not only flirt and seduce but also throw some lies between the couples.

      Look, Lola should not stress over her sister shit and shut her door against her because her history speaks volume. She need to learn the hard way or else she will never learn her lesson. 

        

      Reply
    • Hmm Miyagi, trust me girls like Lola’s sister dont know what eye to eye is. I always say desperate ppl. do desperate things.

      Reply
  4. Lola, if u r a christian take this…let ur sister apologize to ur mom so she will take her bk. it doesnt matter whose fault it was that a fight broke out, remember dat a parent is a parent and the Bible says to honor them dat we and our descendants may live long…its the only commandment with a promise. Know dat even if ur mom is at fault for the fight wateva she says against ur sister will come true cos she has control over her physically and spiritually as a parent. its funny how some pple think they can jst disrespect their parents and go scot free…trust m dats not true.

    You let ur sister knw dat ur mom is ur mom and she has 2 give her all the respect due…i dnt knw how some pple r so disrespectful to their parents.

    I personally have a problem with my father and its being very hard 4 m tho i try not 2 think abt it, he listened 2 stuff pple said abt said m and he would not even listen 2 my side of the story, he jst wnt ahead and made a decision m 4 which i refused cos i tot it was not fair, cos of dat he has refused to tlk 2 m and when i call he hangs up on m. its like 5yrs now and i’ve not had a 3min conversation wit my dad…its really painful but i still pray dat 1 day our relationship will b mended cos i used 2 b his little girl. it sucks dat i live in the US and he’s in GH, mayb if i was there things wld’ve been diff.

    Its my prayer dat I’ll b able 2 patch things up with him b4 its 2 late……Lola talk 2 ur sister, children will always b children and so will parents, and also tlk 2 ur mom 2 forgive her cos no matter wat she’s still her daughter…there is a sayin our our language dat “when ur child goes to toilet on you, u dnt throw her away u clean it” (i tnk its sth like dat tho im sure im missin the proper sayin, i still hope u get my point). All the best…

    Reply
  5. dis is so tricky..i think u shd help ur sis find a plc so she can go live der..if y’all don find sumwhere 4 her,den u shd ve a meaningful n serious conversation wit her n tell her she stayin bcos she cant find a plc n dat evry single day y’all wil b goin out n askin for a plc 2 rent..let her no ur bf aint her mate n dat u dont wanna c her in short flirting cloth n also no seducin acts..den afterwards u shd talk 2 her 2 go apologize 2 ur mom wit sum respectful elders so dis dispute wil b settled..lets her no u serious abt de situation..

    Reply
  6. Stop coming up with excuses she’s your sister…she’s family. She should mean more to you then your boyfriend. She needs you right now. And she will always remember if you shut her down in her time of need. Tell her to save money so she can move out as fast as possible because its a awkward situation…if she’s working let her stay rent free for 2 months. Then tell her to get a apartment or rent a room… Family is all we have on this earth…everything. Else is nothing!

    Reply

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