Love & Relationship: My Boyfriend Gets Lost For 3 Months, Hides Family & Friends From & Can’t Reach Him Most Times, Yet He Says He Loves…14 Comments

Sassy Chic
Posted on 15 Jan 2011 at 10:59am

Dear GC,

I have been with this guy for a year and five months, and there is still so much I don’t understand about him and I need advise because am so very much confused.

Before I go into why I’m confused, I’d  like u to know that throughout this period of dating, we’ve never had sex. I won’t deny that we have tried having sex but it just hasn’t happened. I fear so much because I feel he will leave me afterwards because of the things I just don’t get about him though he has not tried to force me.

My reason for being confused is that, he has refused to let me meet either his family or friends. He gave the excuse that his father is a very strict man and for his friends, he doesn’t have close friends.

Aside from all these, I hardly see him. We see like once in three months though we communicate everyday. My problem is he is not working but always busy on a family errands.

I told him last month, that this year I wouldn’t be taking any of this anymore and he promised he would do something about it.

I tried reaching him on the 2nd of this month but he never picked up nor did he call back, so I called again on 4th and he pick up and give the excuse of he leaving his phone at a friends house and that he was busy at that moment so he will call me back which he never did.

So I decided to forget him once and for all. I avoided his call for three days and he became desperate and started sending so many messages.

I don’t  know, I feel he loves me and I do too but I just want to end the relationship. I am not sure if that is the right thing to do.

Worried Lady,

Maabena

__________________________________________________________________

Dear Maabena,

As most of us know Love and Lust can cloud our judgement which makes it difficult to make the right decisions. If you didn’t love this man it’s very likely you would have left him by now.

I have always said it is better to be single and content than be in a relationship and be miserable. Even when your single and feeling lonely at times at least you will not be sitting there waiting on calls, stressing and pleading for his attention.

Even a man who is a friend or a relation of yours will tell you, when a man loves you he wants to be with you, know your people and for you to know his. If its anymore complicated than that he is not interested enough in the future of your relationship. Maybe he wants to wait before introducing you to his parents but to his friends? He is giving you excuses.

I’m glad that you got the guts to make the decision to leave when he ignored your calls. You were right to be annoyed, that was disrespectful. Be careful about him drawing you back in just because he is now making a few extra calls. You should not have to leave him for him to take action.

What I want to know is did he agree to be non intimate relationship with you?
Some men will appear to accept a woman dosn’t want sex but will then misbehave when you don’t. You surly have the right to be in a non sexual relationship, just make sure your man wants the same. If he doesn’t that is also his right to want this. If this is the case then it means you are both having wrong expectations.

Relationships differ from one couple to another so it’s never a good thing to compare yours with others. Although once every three months if you live in the same country is probably not your idea of a happy relationship. If you were happy and content you wouldn’t be questioning his behaviour.

As the saying goes, people don’t change unless THEY want to! The one question you really need to ask yourself to help decide is this. What are the real chances my man will really change? Or will I spend another year trying to change him and feeling like I’ve wasted more time on this relationship.

Like ourselves men are not suppose to be perfect BUT if they say they love you then they should want to be with you in a loving and respectful way. Anything less than this should give you the incentive to wait for someone better.

All the best!

SassyChic!

Send all your relationship & Love  probs to me via tips@ghanacelebrities.com




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  • http://deleted annor

    i personally think the lady should leave the guy cos he doesnt deserve her at all and above all he doesnt respect her feelings cos no man on earth will leave a lady that he claims to love so much for months n also wouldnt want to introduce her to his parents,who knows maybe this guy might even end up being a GHOST!!! hehehe….

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  • mackie5667

    yo maabena, i know exactly what u talking about. ur boo is a fraudster or something similar. the times u don’t hear from him, he’s possibly in custody or hiding from his victims. Abt him not taking u home, many guys who from familioes that are not too wealthy will hardly take u to their homes. They prefer coming over to ur home or boning in a guesthouse or friends place. real talk.

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    ogumah juliet Reply:

    if the guy is not born whit a silver spoon he h
    ave to say it out to the girl the first he met her.my feeling is that maybe
    the guy did not love her and even if he does maybe he is keeping secret
    from the girl,whoever that is ready to date a guy/girl should be ready
    to face whatever that come’s his/her way.it is had for someone to fine
    her ture love in the life of nowadays.one thing i will say is that this girl
    should take her time to find out sometin about this guy because he is
    keeping secret things from her.and has for sex that’s nomal,

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  • GoldenGurl

    Ghost lol :-D

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  • GoldenGurl

    Ghost lol :-D yep u might jus’ be right by the sounds of it!

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    ogumah juliet Reply:

    i would tell her to live him because she did’t know was in his mind
    and she have to be very careful wit such a guy and if the guy don’t
    want her to know his family and friends it shows that he is a ghost.

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    GoldenGurl Reply:

    I guess if you have never been in a happy relationship you will not really know when someone is treated you bad.

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  • maame

    Girl it seems like i’ve heard the exact same issue on here. Oh i remember who you are now.. Anass right? I sugeest that you break up with him. 

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  • Mizz_Diamond

    My honest advice to you is to leave him, if he truely loves you like he claims there is no way he’s going to be gone for months and also not introduce you to his friends. He must be leaving a double life that’s why he doesn’t want you to meet his family or friends. think twice and make the right decision. wish u all the best!!

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  • cici

    just leave dis relationship n b a nun…

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  • kwame akissi

    my candid opinion, please leave him cos he is seeing some else . simple

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  • boosy

    maabena so can’t u see he is playing double game, who knows he has wife n kinds that is why he does not want to introduce u to his families and frien ds beco’s is not normal

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  • http://www.yahoo.com roseline

    i tink dis guy is a ghost so my dear just let him go

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  • ghallday

    Well actions they speak much louder than utterances. You have your answer.

    [Reply]