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Weekly Discussion: Is Smacking A Child The Best Method Of Discipline Or just Another Form Of Child Abuse?

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Being of African heritage, getting smacked whilst I was growing up was nothing new or particularly shocking either. Having friends from all over Africa, and the Caribbean islands, also enabled me to realise that smacking a child was not solely an African practice.

One of the funniest memories I have of high school was when “me and my Black friends” were discussing the different methods that our parents used to discipline us as youngsters; the expressions on the faces of our White friends spoke a thousand words- it was a mixture of shock, horror and pure sympathy.

Whilst all the Black kids in our group- myself included- wholeheartedly agreed that being smacked as youngsters was the best method of discipline our parents gave us, our White friends were of the assumption that this amounted to some form of child abuse.

At first I thought this was a difference in cultures, yet recently, whilst out with a group of my friends, we saw a toddler throwing a really bad temper tantrum. Being the ever diplomatic person I am, I said to my friends: “If that was my child, I would whoop their a** so bad it would turn blue.” This prompted one of my friends (also Black) to say: “I think smacking a kid is just another form of child abuse.”

This led to a discussion- ok strike that- an argument between us that lasted for approximately an hour; more than half of us agreed that smacking a child was good for discipline, whilst three of my friends perceived it to be a form of abuse.

To some extent, I do agree that sometimes some parents do take discipline too far and that it could be considered abuse. For instance, to me, an example of discipline is smacking a child when they do something you tell them not to do, or when they talk to their parent in an impolite manner.

On the other hand, I view abuse as actually BEATING the child for no good reason- beating them just for the sake of it.

I personally agree with smacking a child from when they are young; I feel like that is not the only form of discipline, but it is definitely one of- if not- the most effective form of discipline.

My mum whooped (and yes I say whooped- not even smacked you know- WHOOPED) me with belts, combs, cooking spoons, and even Pray3 (broom), and look how great I turned out- if I say so myself. So I for one definitely agree with smacking a child as a form of discipline.

What do you guys think though? Let us know how you were disciplined as children, how you discipline your children, and what you generally think of smacking children?



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9 thoughts on “Weekly Discussion: Is Smacking A Child The Best Method Of Discipline Or just Another Form Of Child Abuse?”

  1. its a black african form of discipline n 95% of it works fine..de kid grows 2 b responsible..mayb its child abuse wit de stepmom,aunts n de rest..

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  2. the rules of what is child abuse have greatly changed, in little house on the prarie laura got beat with a strap for hitting her sister, now that would be considered abuse i do agree with you that people have gone way overboard when it comes to what is and is not child abuse some things shouldnt be allowed some consider a spanking, washing a mouth out with soap and even being sent to the corner as child abuse, when they really aren’t just discipline even though i wouldnt personally do it some of my friends have been switched when they are bad and they dont love their parents any less and it was done for good reasons and they are all very well behaved kids (im 17, so were still sort of kids), so i wouldnt go as far as calling CPS for something like that. but when i parent beats the crap out of their kid with a belt for looking at them wrong or forgetting something it becomes abuse and needs to stop that can severely damage a child my friend used to get beaten with a boot everyday for no reason except his mom was angry and didnt know who else to take it out on so i knew what was and wasnt child abuse i knew that i shouldnt go crying to a social worker when my dad spanked me or gave me a little whack upside the head for saying something rude. while people do go overboard on the line between abuse and discipline in some cases children do need to be protected a whack on the butt or head can work just as well as a beating with a belt without actually hurting the child people really do need to stop calling things like spankings abuse though they need to realize that talking it out doesnt work for a 2 year old you cant just say “no sweetie please dont do that it hurts mommys feelings” and just hope they stop.

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  3. it’s a form of abuse. it’s we blacks especially african’s and carribeans who have accepted it as part of our culture. some children who are whipped so hard to the extreme extent tend to have problems in their adult hood. they become redrawn and to the extent of hating their parents or who ever did that to them. hence when some people grow they hate their parents or any person who did that to me. those people might not understand where all the hatred is coming from.

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    • @Sasha You said the right word “EXTREME”. Now that [is] the abuse if it is done extremely. You don’t need anyone to teach your child to hate you if you use a leather belt or some large stick whacking him or her from left to right. Some parents even to to the extent of slapping their kids across the face. That IS child abuse but using a small cane to whip a child on the buttocks in moderation is not abuse. 

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  4. @ Sasha

    No offense but how the fuck spanking (discipline) a child for doing something wrong be a form of abuse especially when that child has been worn? Yes, I agree with you “some” parents go overboard (just like how my homie Miyagi said) and those parents who ran over the child like a monster truck is not good. A COMMON SENSE MUST BE APPLIED when spanking a kid. Please, don’t get confuse because the word “discipline” is totally different from the word abuse.

    However, it doesn’t take away from the fact that a child MUST be discipline when she/her is WRONG.

    Do you know why most North America and Europe youth is FUCKED UP especially in North America? Because of discipline. I wish the Western world will adopt the Ghanaian and other African disciplinary.   
      

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  5. it is people, i went through that and turned out a better person, even the bible says so too. but its bad when some parents and people over do it at most times, because i belive in a little bit of smacking and alittle bit of talking. i and my sibIlings turned out grate through that.AMEN.

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  6. Someone said. “Even a one-year-old understands the message that a smack sends.”

    I couldn’t agree with that more. And this message is that we don’t accept our kids the way they are. We only accept them the way we want them to be.

    I don’t mean to be rude here and please don’t feel offended. But I am having one question. Since lack of acceptance is an issue in our society….all around the globe.

    How dare we demand the respect of others (our kids also) and blame them for not respecting us and walking all over us. When:
    A. We lack respect of other people in our hearts. And
    B. We are offen taking advantage of their fears and walking all over them as well (Our Children included.)?

    How dare we?

    Guys? why are we so hypocritic but we only blame others for the same faults that we have. ?

    The only ways to successful parenting are the following:

    Preach what you live or live what you preach. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. You are human and you have the right to make mistakes. Everyone has that right. So do our kids and we have got to respect that right.

    Why are you telling us all this? some of the spanking parents might reply. We are spanking our kids anyway, regardless of what you think.

    Well I am not saying all this hoping to change all this cruelty and violence of this world. I am only saying all this, to encourage the more benevolent hearted parents to continue looking for more peaceful ways to raise generous and kind hearted and happy kids above all…without making the feel like shit.

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  7. As a child I was whipped and before the whipping my dad would explain to me the reason why he was going to whip me. There is nothing wrong with whipping (in moderation) and using a small cane instead of a leather belt or other dangerous objects.  It is a form of discipline I grew up with and there is nothing wrong with it, A child needs to know there are consequences for making wrong choices. 

    Reply

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