I have put myself in a very difficult situation and now I don’t know how to get out of it. I was single for almost two years before I met my man almost three years ago. As like most relationships the first year was really great between us.
He did have some controlling issues like not wanting me to go out or hang out with my friends but I thought he was putting on all those restrictions out of love. Even though we did argue about it I eventually let a lot of my friendships go.
A year into the relationship he asked me to move in with him. I was so happy about this and moved out of the flat I shared with my friend and into his flat within a week.
After a month I started to regret my decision. He hardly stayed in, we never went out and I became a live in maid.
The only thing he seemed to want was for us to have a baby. He kept saying it would make us a family and marriage would come later. I believed him and because I was desperate to regain his attention I came off my pill two months ago and recently discovered I am pregnant.
I couldn’t wait to tell him but my boyfriend’s response was like a slap on the face. He said we cannot afford a baby as he needs to send money home to his family monthly and says I should abort!
He says we can try again next year when he will have a better job. I thought he was just getting cold feet but he is now also suggesting that I move back to my friend’s house if I don’t want to go for the abortion.
I am so scared and don’t know what to do! I feel tricked and betrayed. I don’t know where to go or who to talk to.
This is truly a dreadful way for your man to respond to the news of your pregnancy. It is both heartless and selfish. However it is now for you to also put yourself first.
He will not suddenly love you and behave himself if you do this abortion so please do not be hasty in this decision!
I can understand your fear of feeling alone but should you agree to do this, not only may you regret it but there is no guarantee he will still not ask you to move out anyway.
Sometimes some men push you to see what they can get away with. It seems your man has never heard no from you and has become spoilt by you always giving him what he wants and as a result the respect has gone.
You may think that your friends will dismiss or belittle you but you know which of your friends will truly still be there and listen. Right now you need positive but honest advice as too how to move forward.The only thing your man has said that is actually accurate is about you moving out.
You know he is bribing you emotionally and he has managed to put you in a position where you rely on him and forced to do what he says.
I believe you are better off single than in a relationship that forces you to give up way too much of your life. Call on a friend or family till you can find your feet. You can’t think straight while your still in his flat. His reaction is likely to make things worse.
Hope this helps!
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