I have a really big dilemma because I’m 21 years old and I’m having an affair with my married neighbour who is 36. We’ve been neighbours for around 3 years now and ever since he and his family moved into the area, I had a crush on him.
I can honestly say it wasn’t the kind of crush where I was expecting it to go anywhere but just a little harmless teen crush. The guy is one of those people who’s really friendly with everyone he meets and chats to everyone.
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He’s particularly friendly to me and my family and I would say we are really close.
I see him a lot when I’m going to the shops or something and we can always laugh around and joke about things. I’m quite friendly with his wife also.
Over time, my crush on him did eventually disappear and I started viewing him as a regular friendly neighbour. Until about 3 months ago when I added him on to my BBM contacts and we started talking on BBM as well as on the phone.
It was when we started communicating via phone that the usual friendly tone took on a bit of s*xual nature. He started calling me s*xy, etc etc and at first I thought it was just a joke thing.
Then a month ago I realised he had a crush on me because he told me outright and I admitted to him too that I have a crush on him as well.
If I’m honest my feelings for him came back again when we started communicating via phone. Ever since we admitted our feelings for each other things have been moving VERY quickly and intensified drastically. We’ve been ‘s*xting’, talking a lot in the phone, even when he’s at work we still communicate.
Then about 2 weeks ago we had our first kiss and ever since then we’ve been hooking up regularly at a park near our area for quickie make out sessions
Even when either of us is just popping to the shops we’ll text the other so that we can meet up. We haven’t had s*x yet but that’s only because we don’t want to do it at his house. Most times his wife is not in but their toddler son or his stepson will be at home. Also we haven’t had the same days off work yet.
I know this is truly bad and as a Christian I feel so bad but I just can’t stop how I feel or stop meeting up with him. I am really attracted to this guy and really curious to have s*x with him and just see what it’ll be like.
I kind of feel like maybe after I have s*x with him I would then be able to move on. I hate to know that I’m doing this with a married man and as bad as I feel I just can’t stop.
I’m gonna make some massive straightforward assumptions here even though I know they’ll be huge pieces missing from your dilemma. The reason I would say to you to get out of this one real quick is because once you sleep with him your feelings will only intensify while may be he is planning on just a hit a run.
You will probably be left feeling rejected and he no doubt will carry on as normal like everything is very cool and if you like him as much as you say you do, that will knock you for six and you may wish you never laid eyes on him.
It maybe you are just curious and would not care if he ignored you after but seeing as you don’t know how you’re gonna feel or what he may do, you should not take that chance.
If you’re seeing him and speaking with him as much as you say, I’m sure the wife may already know and maybe choosing not to say. Or he has found a dodgy way to avoid accusations.
Also it maybe that he is in the habit of sleeping around so I don’t want you to be another notch in his belt. It’s a tough one though since he lives next door but you need to yank yourself out of this one!
Have you asked yourself what you want out of it all? Or if you do sleep with him and get caught can you handle the drama and what his wife will go through.
Sorry but at 21 you don’t need that kind of drama! There are fine single men out there and they are single with NO baggage and no sneaking around in parks for quick fumbles. If you’re going to make the decision to walk away, don’t just cut him off because he will just come on stronger and you will give in! Just be a lot less available.
Hope this helps!
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