Hey guys! I know I’ve been a bit quiet on the article writing front for a while now- I’ve just been extremely busy with the continuous behind-the-scenes work for GC, chasing up interviews and helping with editing. However, a few days ago, some of my girlfriends and myself engaged in an interest discussion, which I wanted to share with you guys.
One of my friends has recently found herself in an unfortunate predicament; she’s had a huge crush on a guy at work for approximately two months now. They would both check each other out, but neither had the guts to make the first move until about three weeks ago- the guy greeted my friend, and she used this as her cue to ask his name and begin the ‘intro chat’.
To cut a long story short, they agreed to meet up for a date- now this is where things get a bit complicated; my friend is the shy and retiring type so her idea of the perfect date isn’t exactly dinner and movies. Therefore, when the guy suggested that they just hang out at his house, she was happy and this managed to partially calm her nerves.
I know some of you guys may already be thinking that the guy wanted the first date to be at his house because he was after something straight from the jump. However, it wasn’t even like that- it seemed like he genuinely like her- the conversations they had on the phone during the days leading up to the date made my friend so happy; it seemed like a genuine and deep mutual attraction for each other (unless the guy was just a very good actor).
Fast forward to the day of the date and my friend goes to “hang out” with the guy at his house. Now I know my girl- she’s not an easy chick at all- like I said she’s the shy and retiring type and has only had two sexual partners at the age of 26. So I know that even though she was going to meet the guy at his house, it was not her intention to do anything with him.
My friend told me that after a few hours of talking, just laughing and kicking back, they began to make out but then the guy led her to the bedroom. At this point, it was obvious that he had sex on his mind but my friend still wasn’t comfortable about giving it to him- especially not on their first date.
After repeated “jokey” threats that he would rip her pants off, my friend gave in and had sex with him. In her own words to me, she thought if she hadn’t had sex with him then he would have stopped liking her and she really wanted the relationship to progress.
After that first date, it seemed things were going perfectly and they had another date within a week of the first (at his house again and this time my friend was willing to give it to him freely as she thought well they had already done it the first time so it was no big deal).
During the second date, (after they had ‘knocked boots’) she began to question certain aspects of his behaviour and this left her wondering whether they were on the same page or not; they went into town and she saw him checking out other girls (and making no attempt to hide this in the process).
When they got back to his house, his friend came round and he just left my friend sitting alone in his bedroom. After getting tired of waiting for what seemed like an eternity, she sent him a text from his bedroom (as she was too shy to go into the living room whilst his friend was there) telling him she wanted to leave. His reply was a mere and curt “k”.
After that date, the guy was off with my friend and now he doesn’t call her nor speak to her like he did when they see each other at work.
I know most of you will be thinking he just got what he wanted from my friend and now he’s bounced, but I really don’t think that’s the case. I work with both of them in the same building so I know the guy, and truth be told I genuinely don’t think it was his intention to use her.
In fact, as I said to my friend, I think he might have been testing her, and she failed miserably- by dropping her pants on the first date. I think although he wanted it, by my friend giving in, he lost respect for her- that’s my opinion at least.
I genuinely want to know what you guys think though- especially all the fellas- give us ladies some insight ad to what goes on in your messed up heads sometimes.
i dont
i dont think the guy liked her from the begning. he wanted one thinng and he got it. your friend should move on.
having sex on the first date makes you skanky, trashy, cheap and easy. No guy’s going to respect you or treat with dignity. Chances is he’ll probably leave you after.To me the purpose of dating is to find out if he likes you and enough to make a relationship out of it. Sex does not make a relationship . If the guy puts the major moves on after only one date, he has most certainly not had enough time to find out if he really likes you and could make a relationship with you. He only wants fast, free sex. tell him to find Find a ho and not to call you again
@Miyagi, well said! Word!
@Empress, thank you sweetheart hope your good
@Miyagi, eeiiii Dr Miyagi nono! I trust your words!
@B.B, hahahahah lol
@Miyagi,massa well said. Simply and tietia. Under no circumstances should a girl sleep with a guy on the first date. Right from the get go he will see her as easy go and all you can eat type of girl. That was her mistake. She should have brushed off the “jokey threats” and see what happens after this date. So she slept with him also on the issue that he would not like her if she didn’t give in. Something’s wrong there.
@ghallday,Thank you and well spoken
@Miyagi, well said.
@Em, thank you
@Miyagi, im gud bro. U r one of da reasons why i alwayz itch to open GC! Ur comments r alwayz refreshing. GC got talents! Lol.
@Empress, lmao hahhaha lol “GC got talent” I like that lool thank you once again high. 5
@miyagi, lol… High 5.
@Miyagi, U’ve said it all.If some of these gals can be laid so easily, wats the purpose of all these hard to get silly games they play in the beginning?To prove what?Or is it just cosmetic?Some of these gals neva ceize 2 amaze me with their contradictory actions & immaturity.
@TheChuckylee,thanks hope your good been a while
@TheChuckylee, thanks its been a while hope your good
@miyagi, Yeah bro,I’m gud.Hope 2 meet u someday.
@TheChuckylee,That wouldnt be a problem just mail me on the following email address when your ready [email protected] many thanks
@Miyagi,i agree bra..
Full stop am sorry but your friend is STUPID!!!!!!!!!! women have thrown their value away, how can u go on a first date and just open ur legs to that idiot boy,…i cnt even continue with this comment kraa..kmttt….well i still feel sorry for her tho…hope she learn her lesson from it x
think MIYAGI gives de best answers on here eva!..not really here often bt everytym i see his response its de bomb!..big ups MIYAGI..:)
@maownangel,Thanks allot I appreciate that High 5
Miyagi should find a job to do unless GC is paying him
@KOKO, thanks for your comment but I got a job and a good one I dong need GC money neither your low budget comment full of hate and jealousy, you see when you can afford an iPhone and a iPad than you don’t need to wait and get home to go on GC or to view your emails I can do that on the go why because I see all everybody’s comment coming through to my iPad as well as your dumb comment you just send why do you think I’m so quick to respond so stick to your possessed comments u SLIMMY Lesbian stink bomb!
I rest my case on you
@Miyagi,
man fuck you and your Ipad I have a blackberry playbook…Dont fucking brag about what you have..U might get robbed if you tell ppl what you have u fucking idiot
@john,Dude nothing can beat the iPad 2 not even your playbook I’m happy you got a playbook do something usefull with it
@Miyagi, hahahahaha saa?you own an ipad. Congratulation on owning one lol. I think thats the dearest thing to you aside the air you breath. Please owning an ipad and commenting all is not a job. Find a real job. Infact, the question is, WHAT DO YOU DO? Answer that and stop telling me you own an ipad lol
@KOKO, I workin a office that’s all you need. To. Know and trust. Me you don’t know me to tell me that its the dearest thing aside me ok have you ever seen a lazy ghanaian being in europe if so than I think it might be you than don’t compare yourself to me just stay on topic and stop being an immature person once again I rest my case on you goodnight
@Miyagi, DONT WASTE YOUR BREATH ON HIM BRO
@akua, your right my precious. Sister
@akua,
FUCK YOU AKUA
@Miyagi, HAHAHAHAHA, stop beating around the bush. U see you cant say exactly what you do…..yet you are here 24/7 commenting instead of finding a serious job to do. Am only advising you…take it or leave it.
@KOKO, shortingo are you disabled or just dumb am I married to you or provide for you, do you pay my bills stop being childish and move on okay like i said that’s all you need to know I don’t own you jack shit wo nnim nyansa Kwaseampani w’abo dam papa
Miyagi has nailed it in that comment. Could not be better said.
Marian.
@Marian, thanks my beautiful Nubian
@Marian,Yea he has nailed it. But the shocking thing is this.. you’d be surprised (some) and I emphasized “SOME”… some of the ladies here reading and commenting have probably done what this girl has done. It’s not far beyond thought..
@ghallday,I’m with you on that
Well I guess it wud be easy to say we saw that one comin’. But yes I agree that he may not have wanted you to use her but guys I guess do push to see what they can get away with. Jus’ say no ladies. First mistakevwas agreeing to meet at his house. That is big no no for first date. Let him spoil you a bit! Plenty time to make it round to his place as things develop. Well @ least for first few dates. If they jump ship in that time u know they weren’t likely to stick around. Well one bitten twice shy as they say.
@Iamsassychic, I soo agree with u sassy.Guys always push to see the outcome.The temptations r too much.
Hello Ladies,
Welcome to the leftovers of the women’s movement. Instead of a guy treating you like a lady and trying to provide a good home, you are now treated like bitches and ho’s. It will take a very long time to heal the wounds of the seventies and eighties. You can start by not sleeping with a guy unless you really care for him. So many of you say, ” Does he want me or sex” ?????
Are you really that stupid!? The males in practilcaly every species is designed to want sex with HIS perception of the fittest female. It may be a nice full figure, it may be a twigy and some it just might be big boobs. The thing is men think of sex on an average of 3 seconds for every minute he is awake. Women on an average of 14 seconds and hour. This is in a normal enviroment not one where you may be looking for sex, example; doing math in your cubicle with no opposite sex photos or work mates, or wiring up a building with no females around. The answer will always be HE WANTS SEX!
It is up to you to make him want REAL sex with you. This is accomplished by not caking on make up, wearing push-up bras, gel or water filled bras, hi-heals, control top pantyhose, hair extensions, and definitely not acting un-interested. Playing hard to get only works on guys that want to conquer you or notch their bedpost. If you truely want someone to love you for who you are… be you! Let them know what they see is what they get, don’t be affraid to experiment and make him happy. News flash, the more you make him happy the more he will want to make you happy. If he is selfish then you will need to cut back as he does. Let his actions speak for yours but please DEAR GOD do not use the pussy as a weapon.
If you try he will screw your best friends, your sister, maybe your mother and don’t leave him alone with the cat. There is only one offense worse than using sex as a weapon and that is cheating. Remember though, just like women we want support and affection. Don’t be like the stupid females and think he will pick up on the things you want. Men are intelligent but very simple. We do not have the social skills, verbal skills, intuition or need to please like women. We can be programmed if you tell us what you want by making a certain look at the same time. After about five times we will know that look and respond.
The key answer though on when to give it up is, it is not a date or number, especially a pre-set number. It is when you feel confident the two of you are ready and if he doesn’t call again you will be okay with it. If you are squriming your bar stool cause your crotch is burning and the guy seems to be what you want go for it. Make sure one of you has protection, it may be the last time you see him. If you are truely after love and happiness, he will wait, trust me! If I could find the perfect woman for me, I could wait five years. Love is not sex but sex is part of love.
It is a way to communicate intimately what we have trouble finding in words. Women can usually find some words but they have the need for intimate communication also. Don’t let being horny dictate. Yes men want sex and yes if is too easy they will worry more about how easy the next guy can get you into his bed. Not so much how many you have been with because both men and women lie about the number. Be a lady in company and a slut in bed and if he loves you it will last. Be a slut in company and a lady in bed and his interests may wander.Well, I am done and I wish all who read this the best of luck and hope you all find the right one. The world would be a better place.Take care,
Miyagi has spoken
@Regina thanks for sharing this with us i salute you high 5
@Miyagi,
fuck off…Mr I know everything…you are fucking gay
@john, have the released you from the mental health clinic again geez you need to stop smoking that Obama
@miyagi,
you claimed you have an ipad…reply me early then..why you taking so long to reply me…cock sucker
@john, people do sleep as well mad dog
@Miyagi, WHERE DO YOU LIVE? DONT TELL ME YOU LIVE IN STATES CUZ I KNOW YOU DONT
@john, abeyisem aakwakwa, the guy is making sense and u r here insulting him..
@Adjoa nbaaso),
ADJOA MIYAGI IS FULL OF SHITS
@john,Ever wonder what life would be like if you had enough oxygen at birth?
@Miyagi, eiii DR DR…thanx for sharing. i m learning u just reminded me of the old saying; men play at love for sex and women play at sex for love.
@madam social,Lol I remember tha old saying Thanks for sharing
@Miyagi, how u been?miss u!
@Adjoa nbaaso), aaaaw baby I miss you too hope your good will call u tomorrow ok
Ur frnd shd move on bcos de guy doesn’t love her anymore..she made a very big mistake by giving in to have sex with dis y3y3 guy esp on a first date..sex shd b done after marriage no matter what..
@cici,Love? Oh no. there was no such thing as “love” from the get go. The man had “bootycall” on his mind not love.
@ghallday,u r kinda rihh
I feel so sorry for ur friend BUT she had it coming when she agreed to go to his house on a first date….. Word of advise…..if u know u are that into a guy,the last thing u wonna do is be alone with.
I like to fuck girls on my first date
@john,Why dont you go and SUCK dude’s PRICK! That will keep you busy for a little while idiot? F*cking TOE RAG!!!
@Miyagi,
gay guy fuck off man..get off my cock
@john, me gay you wish I was like you I rebuke that evil spirit in you
@Miyagi,
MAN WHY DONT YOU REBUKE THE UNCIVILIZED CULTURE IN YOU BEFORE YOU REBUKE ME?? MAN YOU NEED A LIFE
@john, do yourself and everyone else a favor disconnect your computer from the Internet.
@Miyagi, Stop insulting people, is that what your prostitute mother taught you. The fact that you are ugly doesnt mean you should insult people ok.
@KOKO, your pretty sad you know if you. Want my attention wait patiently in line until its your time okay don’t have your time know goodnight
@KOKO, learn how to respect women or else there will be no peace for u nor ur f**lish bornf**l family. f**lish toddler. fish brain. ur mum is the female dog and she will remain the female dog no wonder why she gave birth to a nincompoop like you don’t start something you can’t finish
@KOKO,
THANKS KOKO MIYAGI IS A MONKEY..HE LIVE HIS LIFE LIKE A CAVEMAN
@john,Your father was only able to pump just enough DNA from his atrophied disease infested testicles into the whore (or prostitute) you call mommy to create a life yet not nearly enough to make you a human being
@Miyagi, dear i wish u never reply to this John’s comment. Let him know the gentilman that u are
@john,oh yeah? how much time do you have to figure out what kind if diseases dis person has on the first date. do not talk abaout condoms cus we all knw they are not safe.
@franca,
condoms are safe and i only go for sexy girls who are sexy cuz im a sexy boy myself
@john, KWASEA! you wish you were sexy. Aboa, wanim s3 chimpanzee .
@B.B,Whahahahahaha =)) ROTFL HAHAHAHAHAHA is that you BB hahaha you just put a big smile on my face =D
@Miyagi, that boy is simply annoying.
@B.B,
NIGGAS DONT BE JEALOUS… I BET EVEN YOUR MOTHER WILL WANNA FUCK ME…IM CUTE NIGGA
@john, you think everyone is like your mother huh?
This issue sounds like a “big deal” but its only a mistake and ur friend should learn from it.The harm has already been done.Thats what life is about, “We always live to learn”
@Adjoa nbaaso), couldn’t have agreed more.
@ghallday, thanx sweety.
Miyagiiiiiii ….sweetheart u making sense paaaa on this …keep on being real …xoxo …lol
@mother, thank dear
@mother,
FUCK YOU AND MIYAGI
@john,You amaze me! I didn’t think it was possible for one person to possess such a vast reservoir of undiluted gibberish! You are obviously suffering from Clue Deficit Disorder If you knew what you’re talking about, you’d be dangerous. I am reminded of something relevant that Benjamin Disraeli said he was distinguished for ignorance for he had only one idea and that was wrong Calling you dull is a gross underestimation of just how tedious you are You have the personality of a damp sponge and the appeal of a moldy sweat sock If I had wanted to talk to somebody with your personality I would be at the damn pet store talking to the lizards Maybe you wouldn’t come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you didn’t eat all those paint chips and lead pencils when you were a kid if your weren’t so fat that your clothes come in three sizes: Extra Large, Jumbo, and Oh-My-God-It’s-Coming-Towards-Us or if you didn’t have a face that would give Freddie Kruger nightmares. Nah, of course you would thank you. We were all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. Now get the hell out of here!
I do not agree with the fact that some of you think the guy wanted to TEST her. Test her for what? What if the girl also wanted the test the guy to see if he sleeps with all his first dates?
The fact is, this guy did not genuinely love the girl, men are good actors and they can get you confused into thinking they are all over. When in fact, they are not. Personally, The first time I had a proper date with my BF, we rocked boots and we have been together for 3 years so you see, if a guy really wants you, he looks beyond sex and other things.
This is pure nonsense. You go to a guy’s house and open your legs for him to FUCK you on first date and you want some respect? All he is thinking is that you are as cheap as anything. And he will tell his friends how cheap you are and they will also want a piece of you so will try things on you . Wise up!
@TiffanyBabe, on point.
Damn girlfriend..see wher all d shyness got u..time to work on it..forget d guy but next tym never land in his house unless u wnt a one nyt stand urself!!..
It actually depends on the true intensions of the guy…having sex on the first date could be great if you both have good feelings for each other. I had sex with my first girl friend on the first date and we dated for 4 yrs before we broke up…but if you are not sure about the intentions of the guy then sex on the first day is a complete No and bad idea…good luck to the girl..its a lesson learnt hard…hope u meet a guy who will treat u better…safe!!!!
she’s got to take a stand,men she’s just head over hills for this guy do Ur calculations and be sure he is the one before jumping into conclusions…….i think this will be her last.
thats true
@BB I totally agree with you
repent my dear ones, for no one knows the day or the hour
Yeah I had enough of him anyway thanks
I had sex with a guy on the first date, I went to his house, he cooked and we ate and chatted, this bothered me as I normally wait a while before jumping into bed with someone. He apologised for “forcing me” and he was my perfect guy, he cooks, is caring, loving, understanding and I thought he was “the one”. His attitude changed when I got a job, he didnt like the fact that I was now independent, he tried to cut me off from friends and family so I ended the relationship an even though he calls daily and we still talk, my feelings for him have disappeared especially since he can turn a simple question into an argument and is so petty. Tell ur friend to forget thid guy, the fact that she works with him was the reason why she should never have slept with him, its happened tho, tell her to move on and be there for her, all gals need their friends at a time like this.