Dear GC Readers, Am I A Lesbian Or Simply Confused?

3 min

I have been keeping myself to myself for the last 2 years and it has been extremely difficult. I have not had any physical intimate encounter with a man except for some few toys I have purchased for self pleasure.

I hate these toys and I get mad each time I use them, but that is only after I have achieved what I used them for.

I am doing all these so that I can keep my feeling down and unnoticed. I do not get any sort of turn on from men. In fact my last encounter with a man is more than 3 years ago.

I hate to acknowledge or be seen as a lesbian, but that is all I feel. I get turn on by women and each day, I get more and more attracted to them.

About 2 and half years ago, I had a partner for about 3 months and because my conscience could not carry the burden, I ended the relationship despite the strong feeling of attraction and belongingness.

Despite all the dissatisfaction about being and sleeping with same s*x, I fall back on that feeling all the time. I have tried seeing men to quench my taste for women but it never has worked. I get cold and nothing about men seems to tickle my feeling.

Am I a lesbian or am I simply going through a face of life? Should I accept this as how I was naturally created and go out there to find a female partner or should I continue hiding my feelings and rely on my ever increasing toys? Please advise.



Hello Stacy,

I will advise that you speak to a councillor about this and also if possible, try to disassociate more with woman and rather associate more with men (that is if you do not want your feeling towards them).

Most of such issues are personal and you should be able to have control over your feelings as a person. With the issue of being created as a lesbian, I am not sure if anything like that exist.

More importantly, it is your life, the beauty is yours and so is the happiness, so do what makes you happy as long as you are not causing extreme damage to another person.

If you see having a same s*x partner the best and you can do it in the country you live without problems, go for it, after all life is too short to spend it being unhappy and lonely.

This is just what I think though. Your situation is a sensitive one so having multiple advices will be the best. Let’s see what other GC readers have to say…

Hope this helps

All the best


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GC Staff

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  1. once you ve had a partner b4,it makes u a lesbian but if you will stop and also stop this toy stuff it will do u good but u ve to talk to a psycologist to help u.

  2. baby”,U are not a lesbian but rather a lady that need a romantic and s*xy guy that can play serious oral s*x with u b4 he inset the thin and i promise u will really like it..”email me for more

      1. @Adjoa Nbaaso), le secret de l’amour e’est etermiser le present..”mon present e’est toi!..”heureux Noe’l..!!

  3. I think the toys that you are using is causing the problem, stop using them and occupy your mind with Godly thoughts, find a bible beleiving church to attend, and talk to somebody you think can help you in the church not just anybody…wish you all the best.

    1. @Akata, i agree with u Akata; i think that is exactly wat he shd do, on one except God can help her in this situation

  4. yeah that’s true…. find a bible believing church n give your life to the lord jesus christ he will surely deliver you from this serious thing…. you cnt do do it alone ma dear only God can help you over come this

  5. What u ar goin through isn’t normal. Nobody was created to hav s*xual feelings for de same s*x,it is devilish. If u ar a christian, speak to GOD about it and pray for de power of de HOLY GHOST to overcome it. See a very spiritual God-fearing believer to help u in prayers and for councelling. Note dat, nobody owns his/her life dat u can live urs anyhow, watever u do on dis earth , u shall be held accountable to it one day before de throne of GOD and it is very soon. As de Bible says, do not conform to de pattern of dis world; dont say dis is doin dat and i will do de same, dont follow wat de world is doin else u wud be lead astray, but be transformed by de renewing of ur mind, u renew ur mind by listening to de world of GOD and listenin again. Goin closer to guys wud even worse d situation but movin closer to GOD through His son JESUS CHRIST is de answer to ya problem ma dear. Bcos, JESUS IS DE ANSWER TO DE WORLD TODAY n ABOVE HIM, DER IS NO OTHER.

  6. You were never created like that and no one was.Patience and prayers is what you are failing to do.I understand its been a while but trust me the right guy might just be a stone throw away.YOu just need to keep ur head up and wait for him.Being a lesbain has so many complications, it wont last.Just pray and accept what you are going through as a reason to make you strong.You will be smiling soon with the perfect man soon.There are so many single men like you searching for a woman.

  7. your situation is pathetic..just get more male friends not necessarilly for relationship,just friends and going for dates.stop the toys things cuz it never makes you satisfied with men,and try getting a boyfried who can give you a real oral s*x.but you need to see a psychologist as well..lesbian de333,its wakk dont even think of it

  8. My dear,u are still d best woman God ever created.U nid not give up on urself.I know of a friend who can help u out of it.I can help by introducing u to Him.His name is JESUS.Accept Him today into ur heart and make Him ur Lord and master.I have taste of Him and have never regreted.Call on Him today,He is waiting for ur call.

    1. My dear, never ever were u created a lesbian or to hv erotic feelings for same s*x; u r the precious jewel of God Almighty so quit the use of those toys n talk to ur Father in Heaven now; we GC readers can only advise and recommend Jesus to u but U alone can call n talk to Jesus; HE alone is the answer to your problem

    2. My dear, never ever were u created a lesbian or to hv erotic feelings for same ****; u r the precious jewel of God Almighty so quit the use of those toys n talk to ur Father in Heaven now; we GC readers can only advise and recommend Jesus to u but U alone can call n talk to Jesus; HE alone is the answer to your problem

  9. @NANA ASARE, you are a disgrace! How you can say this to a woman asking for help is beyond me. She needs advice and support, not criticism for natural urges. It is natural to have a s*x drive, toys are a simple and perfect solution to many women’s (and men’s) urges. Having a partner of the same s*x does not make you a lesbian. That is not to say you are not, however. I prefer not to identify myself with a label and if I am attracted to someone, be that a man or woman, I am attracted to them. I believe in the fluidity of s*xuality. You do not need a psychologist to help you stop using toys or being a lesbian (if that’s what you identify as) If you do need a psychiatrist it’s due to the prejudice bestowed upon you by these “concerned people”. You are who you are and you are beautiful. 

  10. Honey, it doesnt matter the s*x of the person u like. Just be concerned about ur happiness. You felt a sense of belonging with someone of the same s*x. If she makes u happy, go for it!

  11. i believe this is serious issue…first you will need to stay away from your toys and try to find out the root of this issue. It could be that you had an abusive boyfriend etc. you feel guillty with same s*x so that is not what you want. furthermore, you need to seek God if you are a christian, if a muslim seek Allah in all these stay away from the pleasures and try to get to the root of this issue. Hope it helps…will pray for you

  12. sis, u need a true man of God
    to talk to, the issue of u being a lesbien or not isnt that relevant, but u getting out of this stuff kinda keeping to urself. i think u re at the wrong place if u really want to be free. considering how far u ve gone with this practice, is only JESUS who can free u. JESUS loves u

  13. hmmm.. i think you are who you are – now everybody says go to church and get delivered- my dear that would not work – you can try and suppress it and get a man even get married but i doubt it if you will ever be happy  – if you don’t follow your heart.  I would also advise you talk to a professional  some one who is not going to judge you. Now most people say you should hang around male more, but i don’t think you have a problem with male – you just don’t get turned on by them s*xually. you feel disgust every time because society frowns on such behaviors – accept yourself for who you are and people would gradually do.