LIFESTYLE: For The Ladies-Why You Are Still Single…32 Comments

Chris-Vincent A. Febiri
Posted on 01 Aug 2012 at 9:21pm

It would be cruel to suggest that like everyone else, certain women should not have preference when it comes to the sort of men they want to share intimacy, their lives or future with.

However, the preposterous tall list of what some women want in their men is the lone obstacle keeping them single.

The funny bit of this is that, no matter how you try to convince most of these single women who are single by virtue of their unreasonable wants to lower the bar, they seem not to see any sense in that.

Even though I am against compromising on fundamentals, it is always reasonable to evaluate what you want in relation to what you have to offer.

A recent conversation I had with my single cousin (Aged 26) is the drive behind this article. I appreciate that she wants the best for herself. After all, who wants to be with a worthless man?

My appreciation for her desire to grab a better man does not mean I should be unrealistic. I therefore pointed to her the disproportionate relationship between what she wants and what she has to offer…

I cannot list all my cousins’ wants but I can try to summarize the important ones. Apart from her wanting a cute Ghanaian man who should be taller than her, and should be strictly Akan, her man should have a degree, should be between 26-31 years, must drive his own car and should have his papers (residence).

It does not end there, the man should have his own place, should have a good job with a net monthly income of not less than £1500. On top of it all, he must be debt free and must be ready to marry her. WOW!

It is not that bad as I have made it to seem right? Wait till you read what she has to offer and then you will see how disproportionate her wants are in relation to her offer.

My cousin has no permanent job, I cannot even remember the last time she worked. So technically, she has no job.  She lives with her Mum and has a 4 year old daughter. Do not ask about the Dad of the child because it will get her screaming your ear drums out.  What doesn’t makes sense at all is, she has no degree. At least for now…

Here are the positives; she is Akan and therefore if she wants to be with someone of her own tribe, I think it is not that bad. She’s an attractive lady, very confident and open minded (I guess not when it comes to her men though).

With the above on the table, it is not surprising that my cousin like many women is single, despite their strong desire to have a partner. Like many single women, my cousin still has every right to get what she wants but then after years of not getting it, why don’t these women lower the bar of wants?

I told my cousin that, you are single because you are offering far less in relation to your demands. I know Jesus will not even fall into this sort of love pot.

So you see, many women like my cousin are held single by their own unreasonable wants. If you are towing the lines of my cousin, better take an urgent re-assessment or else….

Do not get me wrong, I believe black women deserve the best. However, we black men equally deserve the best too!

Why do you think you are still single or why do you think your friends are single?






Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Chris-Vincent A. Febiri

Chris-Vincent is a Freelance Blogger/Writer, Founder and Editor of GhanaCelebrities.Com. He is a “witty” writer who wrote several award winning articles/debates during his Secondary School days at Adisadel College. To develop his writing skills, studied Communication as a major with Sociology and Law at Newham College Of Further Education, London. Currently, he holds a degree in Law (LLB), Diploma in Para Legal and, he is a postgraduate Law student majoring in International Human Rights... He is the author of the popular eBook 'Success Is A Right, Not A Privilege'. He also blogs at www.TopVincent.Com. BBM pin: 7C7331B2. Remember "absence of evidence is not evidence of absence".... Click Here To Hire Me


Read Also


32 People Complaining...

  1. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Dr. Miyagi

    8408 Total Comments

    Another Great article i must confess even though short but powerful there are some few why reason why some people are still single is either you’re  not approachable or he/she haven’t figured out their life’s purpose or aren’t meeting new people or being unrealistic I believe for some people Gods time is the best time I realise that allot of people are not afraid to jump into any relationship because of being afraid of getting abuse or played by both parties  I know some people that have been in a long term relation since childhood so it’s hard for them to jump into a new one than But some people are just too picky in life 

    [Reply]

  2. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1`madam social

    937 Total Comments

    ummm…y am i still single? well, i guess i m too picky. yea i knw i m picky.  i think for me my problem/obstacle is that, most guys r just in for **** and not a relationship. and i on the other hand wants a long term,committed relationship. is just hard to find the right one i guess

    [Reply]

    +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Dr. Miyagi Reply:

    @`madam social,Miss I’m going to disagree with you for the second time again lol, cause now your boxing
    All the guys in one corner I’m sure there are allot of men out the that are gentle and looking for the real deal 

    [Reply]

    Vote -1 Vote +1sii Reply:

    @Dr. Miyagi, i hv a wonderful man, he is caring,torelant,he loves me n can take everyfin i do,he is nt from my country though, at times i wish he is but i love him. he is just perfect but he smokes n drinks alcohol ocasionally n i hate ittttttttttttttttttttt……since i dont do tht.(christian) he has proving to me tht he will stop smoking( does nt smoke too much like be, 1 -5 sticks a day, be4 he smoked a packet. i am being inpatient. helppppppppppppp!

    [Reply]

    Vote -1 Vote +1Dr. Miyagi Reply:

    @sii,You can’t specifically get him to stop smoking only he can choose whether he want to or not try and have a heart to heart with him and tellling him that your worried about his health and that you want him around for awhile consult a good doctor or in a de-addiction Centre start an aversion therapy for the habit of drinking and let him chew nicotine tablets daily instead of smoking.. he gets his pleasure and it doesn’t spoil his lungs..since you live him to bits and he is willing to stop I’m sure you will be strong enough to stand by his side and help him achieve it try not to be inpatient because before you met him you knew he was a smoker and a drinker or maybe didn’t know and realise that later on but it’s never late to change a man and trust me once it works he will be grateful and thank for and even love you more than he does know because he will than realise the type of lady he is dealing with and the love you got for him as for the drinking if both of you are living together try and be a bit bossy but not too much in other words “act like a lady, but think like a man”

    Vote -1 Vote +1sii Reply:

    @Dr. Miyagi, thank you very much for your comment. I really appreciate it. i will do just that. I have already suggested that nikotin chewing gum n he was happy i made that attempt, we r lookn forward to buy it. I hate me trying to change him but i always tell him, he came to this world without being a smoker, smoking is samfin he adapted, so its not him i wanna change but his smoking habit…. that way he doesnt feel like i am being bossy. Even though i am nt use to the scent i still dnt really show tht the scent is the issue but rather his health n i try to explain to him tht its self distruction n tht i dnt wonna loose him or see him suffer from the aftermath of smoking.. anyway since he listens to me i pray God help us. He talks about how much he wonna stop this to make me happy. I am kinda girl i wouldnt stop anybody from being happy or have fun but i am from a christian family n i dnt knw wa will happen when my dad gets to knw tht i am going out with someone who smokes n drinks.. but i love him n he loves me… he does nt cause trouble though with this habits, he is even more caring n affectionate when he has taken some alcohol but i guess on my list of my dream man/husband, i dnt remember including someone who smokes, n i still dnt see the reason why i should break up with him only because of this since he is perfect ………

    Vote -1 Vote +1Dr. Miyagi Reply:

    @sii,I like that go for it I know you can do it 

    Vote -1 Vote +1sii Reply:

    @sii, thnx

    +1 Vote -1 Vote +1goza Reply:

    @`madam social, I found this too.. gives a different dimension… most so true… quite lengthy but i think it’s worth it.
    http://www.waadzimah.com/2012/02/single-and-searching.html

    [Reply]

    +1 Vote -1 Vote +127calibre (O-o) Reply:

    @`madam social, I AM TELLING YOU THIS BECAUSE I LIKE YOU AS A SISTER ,°°°any time a guy ask you about **** or something unreasonable to you ,just ask him if he loves you ,i know he will say yes ,
    then tell him to wait for a year or two years before you do **** ,and see his reaction ,if the guy loves you he will tell you something which will make you believe in him without **** .GOD LUCK°°°°

    [Reply]

    +2 Vote -1 Vote +1`madam social Reply:

    @27calibre (O-o), honey i’ve try that. this explains y i m still single cos i don’t give in to ****. so they come around for a while and then they stop. thanx for the tip. lol @miyagi we need to start thinking alike.

    [Reply]

    Vote -1 Vote +127calibre (O-o) Reply:

    @`madam social, ok (: you are very wise and brilliant never give **** to a guy who want **** first,
    if you sale yourself cheaply you will be taken for granted ..take care

  3. +2 Vote -1 Vote +1TiffanyBabe

    224 Total Comments

    I do know that some of us women are too much with what we want in men but if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone , you got to make sure he ticks most of the box else you will start cheating along the lines.

    I get what Chris is saying though we must also bring something to the table. The reason why I am single is because most of the guys I meet are jokers. They do not have their **** together though my **** is well together 

    [Reply]

  4. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Goza

    9 Total Comments

    I completely agree with all these points. Women have raised the bar so high for themselves so that, when ****es are to be changed today, (women become men and vice versa) they will indeed find their own bars too high. Also is the fact that, women don’t agree they have to do things differently to attract and maintain their relationships with men. I found this link. It might be useful. I says some other reasons why ladies are still single.
    http://www.waadzimah.com/2012/02/single-and-searching.html

    [Reply]

  5. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1goza

    9 Total Comments

    @Madam social. I found this too.. gives a different dimension… most so true… quite lengthy but i think it’s worth it.

    [Reply]

  6. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1nae bee

    77 Total Comments

    interesting article….why im i single????…hmmmm i think i want too much freedom and the idea of getting a second degree…need to rethink then…

    [Reply]

  7. +1 Vote -1 Vote +127calibre (O-o)

    1312 Total Comments

    to the women who dont see good thing in men no matter what,.
    YOU WILL BE WAITING AND WAIT TILL THY KINGDOM COME YOU WILL NOT SEE THE PERFECT MAN ,AND BY THE TIME YOU HIT 30 MEN ALSO WILL BE REJECTING YOU FOR THE YOUNGER ONES ,THE EARLIER THE BETTER MY SISTERS..

    ANY WAY WHY DONT YOU CHANGE THE SAME MAN YOU REJECTED 1 YEAR AGO, 6 MONTHS AGO, 3 MONTHS AGO ,YOU REJECTED HIM BECAUSE HE DONT HAVE THE QUALITIES YOU WANT IN YOUR TYPE OF MAN RIGHT ,COME ON YOU CAN CHARGE HIM IF YOU WANT HIM TO BE PART OF YOU ..AM SURE YOU ARE STILL SAYING HE IS NOT THE RIGHT GUY ..LET ME TELL YOU THE RIGHT GUY WILL NEVER COME IF YOU ONLY BASED ON MONEY AND MATERIAL THINGS ,AND REMEMBER MEN ARE NOT FOOLS TO OPEN THEIR WORTH AND MONEY TO WOMAN HE MET JUST A COPLE OF MONTHS ,AS FOR ME AM A TYPE OF GUY WHO DONT SHOW MY WORTH OR MY CAR TO WOMEN JUST LIKE THAT …

    MY ADVICE FOR YOU IS YOU CAN CHANGE A GUY TO THE WAY YOU WANT HIM TO BE ,IS EVEN BEAUTIFUL WHEN YOU JUST TELL YOUR MAN ,°° hey baby this not how this or that is done it done in this way °° how sweet it is i guess

    my woman teach me alot of things .even eating habbits ,I AM NOT SAYING I EAT NYAFU NYAFU @my brother Miyagi..

    SO MY GHANAIN SISTERS PLAY YOUR CARDS WELL !

    [Reply]

    +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Dr. Miyagi Reply:

    @27calibre (O-o),Lol I like that and god truly gave you the right lady she is beautiful and patient and well respected and I’m happy that you both listen and advice each other in life that’s real love 

    [Reply]

    +1 Vote -1 Vote +127calibre (O_0 ) Reply:

    @Dr. Miyagi,thanks bro am truly blessed to have a crush on her ,for me she is the sweetest  woman in my life and i thank god for that and am trying as much as possible to be a good and responsible man ,i realy appreciate everything she is doing (:  …

    a good thing in relationship is respect each other no matter what your money or her money or even if she is poor or not.

    [Reply]

    +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Dr. Miyagi Reply:

    @27calibre (O_0 ),Your welcome bro keep up the good work the only advice I can give you is that you need to keep cherishing, adoring her keep the communicating alive don’t see each other as lovers only but also as a team, best friends and never include outsiders I’m proud of you 

    +1 Vote -1 Vote +1TheChuckylee Reply:

    @27calibre (O-o), U’ve said it all & I agree wid u 100%.Sometimes it seems to me some of these ladies want to eat their cake and have it.U can never have it all.The man dat will have the kind of finances dat meets her standard may not be dat tolerant,affectionate,caring all the other nice attributes she may be expecting .If she meets the man dat is not yet financially stable but who is caring,respects her,faithful and may not be too tall or handsome as she expects her “dream man” to be. If a lady rejects a man now becos of his current status and then later he gets to the top and the lady finds her way into his life again most @ times the man doubts her committment to the relationship becos its obvious if he had not made it she wouldnt have considered him and besides what is the guarantee dat if something hd happen and things go the wrong way the lady will stick wid him?So u see ladies please be considerate in some of yr criteria for the ideal man & look beyond what u see now in people.One more thing is never underestimate anyone in dis world no matter how he started.

    [Reply]

  8. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Frog

    361 Total Comments

    Women must try and build their perfect man cos the perfect man is either taken or is gay.Just find a man who is nearest to ur expectation and take it from there.I personally know two women who did that and are very happily married now.Half of the women are single just take and take and give nothing whiles the other just don’t want to be submissive and compromising.

    [Reply]

  9. +2 Vote -1 Vote +1Eaglebabe

    487 Total Comments

    i agree with GC because it happened to me… when i had tuned my mind to my tall list of what my “ideal man should be”….on my list, my man should be a doctor, funny huh? but well, after dating two doctors who somehow i thought qualified because they met my tall list of “ideal man”, i was so disappointed…(not to say all doctors are like that) but i changed my list, made the job column “any respected profession”….i have grabbed myself a sweet loving soldier who makes my life complete…….i think about 60% of ladies contribute to why they are single. (correct me if am wrong)

    [Reply]

    +1 Vote -1 Vote +1mmallet Reply:

    @Eaglebabe, u are 100% right

    [Reply]

    +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Eaglebabe Reply:

    @mmallet, thanx my dear

    [Reply]

    +1 Vote -1 Vote +1dericka Reply:

    @Eaglebabe, it was funny buh u very right.

    [Reply]

    +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Eaglebabe Reply:

    @dericka, seriously, i realized that if i don’t change something about my list i might be single for sometime (probably a long time)…some women might be things like..”ooh i love being single, i fell free”…..”i am single and am proud becos i dont want any man to take me for a ride”….etc…but deep down within them they are not happy being single……

    [Reply]

  10. Vote -1 Vote +1mmallet

    16 Total Comments

    @27calibre (O-o), i’m with u brother

    [Reply]

    +1 Vote -1 Vote +127calibre (O_0 ) Reply:

    @mmallet,thanks..

    [Reply]

  11. +2 Vote -1 Vote +1kabiru totti

    31 Total Comments

    love is natural. it does not matter who you are in love with but what matters is is the person loves you the same way..if the person loves you the same way that means you can make a good couple or relationship. if she want all this things before accepting a man in her life, means she is going for money and material things not love. what about if she marry the person and later the person broke from hero to zero would she pack and go or she will stay.. am telling all ladies waiting for mr right is very bad put a stop to it.

    [Reply]

  12. +1 Vote -1 Vote +1Frog

    361 Total Comments

    EL has a song dedeicated to these types of women called “long tin”

    [Reply]

  13. Vote -1 Vote +1KA NE WU

    1050 Total Comments

    AK3SES3M IS KILLING SOME OF OUR GHANAIAN LADIES, THEY REFUSE TO ACCEPT WHO THEY ARE INORDER TO WORK ON THIERSELVES, ALWAYS WANTING TO REAP WHAT THEY HAVNT SOW! YOU DNT HAVE À DEGREE AND YOU ARE LOOKING FOR À MAN WITH ONE, NO PROBLEM,! WHAT IF THE MAN ALSO WANTS À WOMAN WITH ONE..?

    [Reply]

icon icon

Say Your Mind Too!!

Enter your information to comment below, Please keep your comments relevant to this blog entry. Comments maybe subject to moderation.

Comments which unnecessarily insult or attack others without any merit will not be published. If there be any issues with what & how we post articles & approve or disapprove comments, please take it to the Lord in prayer or kindly click the X button (for Windows) in the top right hand corner (if a Mac) then left hand corner of your browser.

All foolish comments will immediately be EX Terminated! If you have nothing substantial to contribute as a comment, just read & say NOTHING.


You must LOGIN in order for comments to appear immediately. Non-Login users' comments will have to be moderated before appearing. Click Here To Login Or Click Here To Register


To have your comments appear INSTANTLY without moderation...CLICK HERE TO LOGIN/REGISTER


Emoticons/Smilies Link