Dear GC Readers,
I met a guy a few months ago and he seemed very nice when we met and he really chased me to get my attention. He said he wanted to marry me and have kids with me and I believed him. This guy was practically begging me to have his kids but I told him he should allow me to finish my nursing school but he still insisted he wanted us to go ahead and have children. He introduced some of his family members to me and I talked to his dad in Ghana as well as his uncle in the US and visited his aunty in Bremen.
They all seemed happy for us and he even said he wants to marry me but I told him my dad would never agree to this since I’m still studying. He then suggested that I should get pregnant first then my dad will have no option than to allow us to get married. So we planned on getting married in December and get pregnant along the lines. As you would expect I’m now pregnant and after seeing my Dr. she told me I am four weeks pregnant. I couldn’t keep the joy to myself so I quickly called him to tell him the news he had been waiting to hear but his response was not at all what I was expecting. He did not sound happy and his response to the news was cold.
To cut a long story short he is now telling me to have an abortion. I have already told my parents about the pregnancy and my mum has advised me not to do anything stupid to the pregnancy though my dad was disappointed and sad. My main problem is my boyfriend has changed completely since I got pregnant. I’m confused because he is the one that wanted this in the first place. He doesn’t call like he used to do, we don’t see each other any more and he is now telling me to have an abortion. When I asked him why he said he doing some business deals and it’s not going to plan so he is distracted
He has since promised me a lot and he has said that he doesn’t want to disgrace me by not fulfilling his promise and he has also said that he still wants to support me to have a career in the future and so the best thing now is to have an abortion. I am devastated and heartbroken. Please tell me what to do. I need help.
Worried Ghanaian
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Dear Worried Ghanaian,
I can imagine how upset and confused you will be right now knowing your boyfriend has suddenly changed his mind about you having his baby and distancing himself from you. I can understand that you would of course be heartbroken by his sudden change of heart which may not make sense to you right now. His reasons for changing his mind are many, he may have met someone else, scared of the reality of becoming a dad or he may have changed his mind as his priority to focus on his business appears to be what is most important.
What will help you is for him to at least be honest with you about his reasons so ask him to be honest with you though this is not what is the most important issue here. If you have decided to keep your baby, take solace in knowing you are not alone and it sounds like while your parents maybe unhappy with the whole situation they sound like they will support you.
It sounds like your boyfriend took many decisions out of your hands in the beginning regarding your commitments to school and deceiving your parents to get what he wants, so the least you can do for yourself is take this very important decisions in your hands so you don’t put your regrets on him. If you abort the baby and you regret it the blame cannot be with him as the decision is in your hands so take the decision carefully.
I hope this helps…Let’s see advice GC readers have to offer!
SassyChic!
Send all your relationship & Love probs to me via [email protected], we will keep your identity anonymous.
First of all, I am not saying this to bring you down or anything. But… if he’s telling you to abort.. what kind of person is he? Immature, insensitive, irresponsible, impulsive? And you being inclined to care more about keeping your BF (regardless of how he is) than to give the chance to live to your own baby… come on. Having a child is Gods blessing not everybody gets a second chance their are consequences behind it, to me he has no right to tell you to get rid of a baby you want to keep the baby and able to care for it then you keep it. He thought he was a man getting you pregnant now we’ll see what kind of man he really is. Sounds little more chicken then anything. Does his parents know? If not then you and your parents go over there and let them know they’re going be grandparents. And you plan on keeping the baby. And people will know he’s the father. People will know you’re the mother so they should know he’s the father. He was man enough to help create the baby.He needs to be man enough to help raise the baby
@Dr. Miyagi, Thank you..Worried Ghanaian this is all you need..
We as a nation ghana, is mourning the loss of our president… Articles of this nature could be brought in subsequent times…. We don’t need them now !
What’s your problem so we can mourn and read at the same time are you trying to. Tell us that we should stop working browsing etc and mourn 24 hours take your stupiditu somewhere els and stop baller blocking showstopper @Chizzy mal,
@Dr. Miyagi, remember, GC is not your family FORUM ! its a public and for that matter, a national forum. GC must dance to the beats of the NATION. For ur insults on me, well, i think u lack moral upbringing & human ethics… U’ve lost it # BRAINS #
@chizzy mal,It’s not My family forum but a public forum? And you got all the nerves to talk about #brains
Lol I see where your dumbness is coming from but thanks for your feedback your not worth my time
@Dr. Miyagi, oh sorry, i juxx saw ur pic and if that’s you, then you are worth everything i said. U really look exactly what came out of ur finger tips. # A DUNDER HEAD # . who needs u anyway… MAGA DOG !
@Chizzy mal,will you shut up ,you dont have to remind us of our presidents death,we respect him ,so it not wise to bring his issue on here .
THIS IS GC IT NOT FOR OBITUARIES FORUM
@Chizzy mal, i agree with you,i mean if some stupid girl goes and get pregnant just because a boyfriend,not even a fiance or husband asked her to,thats her fucking problem,so let her deal with it.in this age and time your boyfriend ask you to get pregnant and you go ahead,i beg this is not news,allow us mourn in peace.
@jessi,No wonder why you got a trumu face with dread locks only God knows whats on top of your head what makes her stupid did you read before commenting Did anybody push you to come and comment? Ofui
@jessi,YOU ARE A GIRL SO YOU HAVE TO BECAREFUL OF WHAT EVER YOU ARE SAYING ,TOMORROW IT MIGHT BE YOU …
YOU ARE WARN
@jessi, many thanks for your wise contribution and opinion ok ???? wise men don’t talk much. thankss
@chizzy mal, just dont let anybody tell you what to say here,its a free forum and the owner is chris and no one else,so feel free and speak your mind anyday anytime and leave the folo folo ones to knock their heads together since they have nothing else to do,we are in a democratic world,peace.
@jessi, thanxx so very much girl…. well appreciated
@Chizzy mal, we are mourning our president, so every life goes on hold abi! That is so off. The president is dead, and gone. Yes, we are mourning him, but as the Bible says let the dead bury their dead. Life goes on please. We can’t stop living because we are mourning our president.
@Chizzy mal, SERIOUSLY????????? We are mourning the president so life must not go on? Remember people do have their own problems that need to be solved too.
I THINK IT TIME FOR YOU TO KNOW THE TRUE PERSON YOU LOVE WHO DONT CARE ABOUT YOU ,HE LIED TO YOU MY DEAR SISTER…WISE UP.
aaaaaaaaahhhhhh adzen???? how can he say that?? really, i think the lady has to take a firm stand and keep the baby, it wont be easy but she has to be able to do it…..in the near future he might come looking for the baby he neglected….but please try as much as possible to care for the baby…..if possible
@Eaglebabe, U are wise..
It’s high time we girls advised ourselves on the kind of men we date.i know how you feel but don’t listen to him.keep the new life in you.it’s the most important thing in your life now and try to forget about him.
Let me ask you this “why” does some girls seem to be making mistakes going for looks or not taking time to get to know the person your dealing with why is that @Twinkle,
@Dr. Miyagi, Because u people cant stop telling lies and with our clean heart we fall for itAnd y do u people also tell lies?.(I answered for twinkie)
You people wooow what are you trying to tell me that all men are liars or the same if not fill me in and let me understand you cause not really happy with your answer and im. Sure a few man will agree with me on that so explain pls@Adjoa Nbaaso),
@Dr. Miyagi, So I expected u to get it.U dnt have to answer if u dnt tell “lies”
Hahaha loool I see you like to play mind games I know my answer but I want you to explain to me in black and white and to the people that are reading why you would make an statement like this or have you expierence it before@Adjoa Nbaaso),
@Dr. Miyagi,lol
my sister pls abort the pregnacy,and forget that man for good becouse he is bad news,he want take u far
@andreanna, i dont surport abortion but the question is why did she not come and seek public opinion first when the guy asked her to get pregnant?she goes ahead and gets pregnant and now that he says i dont want it anymore,she comes asking for advice after the harm has already been done,let her go ahead and have a bastard child.such stupidity deserves a good slap but abortion,i think she shouldnt try it.
@jessi,DO you have manners at all?cant you comments without insulting your fellow woman?
@27calibre (O_0 ),She is always interfering with other peoples life like she owns them yet wen someone attacks her she will be complaining that some people insult allot Number we don’t no exactly what happens inside her relationship she kept her explanation short and yet she is here wometing out of her big Zulu lips
@Dr. Miyagi,hmmm jessi is heartless
Well as for that girl only god knows how she operates and think about people@27calibre (O_0 ),
@27calibre (O_0 ), For all u know, its her brother who did that to the poor girl because I havent seen a woman who doenst feel for her fellow woman in times like this.
@Adjoa Nbaaso), madam,i beg you ooo?i spoke my mind thats all,if you cant deal with that then sorry for you,besides was she raped?no its was a mutual agreement between them ,you make it sound like she is some sort of a victim here.why?is she a minor?its not easy raising a child even with a husband by your side not to talk a meer boyfriend.the guy saw an idiot and took advantage of her,i would have expected her to know better,or atleast seek a second opinion before taken such a big step,in my opinion,there is no excuse for such stupidity.perhaps i would have felt pity for her if she was raped or something.
@jessi, Do u actually understand what life is about?Thanks for callin her actions stupidity but I pray u never make any mistake in ur life.Maybe u are Ms. Perfect, I assume..
@jessi,have you been raped before ,wy are you talking about rape or you rather rape MEN?
@Adjoa Nbaaso),if she is not sick she is hearless this kind of people need very powerfull deliverance .
Who would want to rape that thing, if she had heart or commonsense should would have understand where that girl is coming from with her story we are dealing with a selfish evil girl over here I wouldn’t be surprises if she has been bewitch, nothing good comes out of her yet she claims to be an angel@27calibre (O_0 ),
Well, the harm has already been done and there is no point crying over spilt milk.I know u probably feel like a fool right now, but its ok, thats what life is about.(U fall, but dnt stay on the ground).Atleast you are alive and have a second chance to make a decision.Aborting a child is not the best thing to do.A man who doesn’t love his child , doesn’t love you. You are a matured woman and aint the first person to have a baby without a responsible father.This thing you are going through right now is a blessing in disguise.Look at it in a positive way, forget about his lies and be that strong woman.You never know what that baby might become someday.And to the men who thinks lying is the best solution, , God is watching all of u and will deal with u one by one.
You spoke well but let me ask you this what would you have done if you where in her situation how would you have handle the whole thing whould you have taken people like Jessi or chizzy advise @Adjoa Nbaaso),
@Adjoa Nbaaso), oh thanks for your prayers,you have spoken your mind and i respect that, free forum thats what this is all about,the rest dont matter.
@Adjoa Nbaaso), wakasa yie.
My dear please dont even think of an abortion as an option. Dont consider what he is saying. Keep the pregnancy, be strong and happy for the unborn child. All the best!
@jessi, i know what your problem is.it’s because you’ve had countless abortion,you want her to be ur partner in crime.she will not terminate the pregnancy.
@Twinkle, are you a prophet?because you are right,i have had a lot of abortions oh soo much that i cant count even now as am married i still do have abortion and i do it with condoms.
@jessi,wtf @jessi are you seriouse ? you have to stop it girl
lol
My dear sister (worried Ghanian) it seems you’ve not understood the game your boyfriend is playing with you.The marriage proposal was for u to open the door of your heart to him, he knew if he comes with marriage proposal, you will trust him and easily give yourself to him. Once a man have not paid a dime on your head, you shouldn’t give yourself to him free of charge because if he taste it while not yet married to you, the zeal to move on the marriage arrangement dies. And that is exactly what is happening to this young man. Just have heart to heart talk with him, and whatever decision he takes tell your parents so that they can go and see his family for them to be aware of their son’s irresponsibility. Even if their son reject you, they have to take the responsibility whether good or bad the baby in your womb is their blood. Even, since he introduced u to his aunt, go to his aunt and also let her know what is going on. After your personal discussion with him, this matter should not be dealt with between both of u anymore but let this matter be given to your family to handle. I know you may still have fillings for him but the truth is he doesn’t love u in the first place but rather lust for u so bear that in mind and take a good decision for yourself and your unborn child. In your decision, abortion should come to mind, don’t even think of it because by having abortion, you are also putting your life at risk so why should u sacrifice all these for just a mere boyfriend, he doesn’t worth it. Return to God in prayer and He will forgive u and show you the right way to go may God strengthen u.
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