Dear GC Readers, Men Can’t Be Trusted, My Friend Raped Me, I Am Falling For Him & He Has Ditched Me

I am a girl in my early 20’s and my previous relationship didn’t go well so I ended the relationship. After getting out of the relationship, I made a promise to myself not to get involved with a man until I secure my education and my future and then maybe I would find my Mr right.

I was fulfilling my promise till I met a friend who happens to be a guy. We became friends and he was nice to me, caring and even supportive. I liked him very much as a friend but never loved him or wanted to be in a relationship with him. The thing is, this friend of mine calls me everyday at least 3 times a day to find out how I am and what I’m up to.

One day he invited me over to hang out and I thought why not and I decided to visit my friend at his place, when I got there he was really nice to me and we both watched movie, I didn’t suspect anything and we just had a cool time.

After a while he wasn’t as chatty and was just looking at me. I guess because I didn’t fancy him when I went to visit him I dressed simply and decently after all I didn’t want him to get the wrong impression.

He finally broke the silence by telling me how pretty I look and to be honest I was surprised because I did not see anything pretty about me but as I genuinely saw him as a friend, I took it as a compliment.

All of a sudden he started touching my body and wanting to kiss me! I stopped him immediately though he started to force himself on me! I tried to resist him but his strength outweighed mine and finally he got the chance to enter me!!!

I was depressed and even crying after the incident because I never thought he could do such a thing to me! Really indeed men are not to be trusted.

He pleaded with me telling me to forgive him and that  he will do anything for me. He even put some money in my bag as I left for the bathroom to wash myself. I left his place crying deep inside my heart.

After what happened he called declaring his love to me. He really started to show me love and care in the early weeks after what happened so I started to believe he never meant to force himself on me and then he stopped all of a sudden!

He only calls when I flash him and he has not called me the whole of yesterday. I really want to just forget about him but anytime I try and move on, then I’ll just remember how he forced himself on me then I just go mad!

I just can’t allow him to get away with what he did to me or I feel I should report him.

After what happened we never slept together again and I know it sounds strange but I  think I’m beginning to fall for him now.

Please help me, I’m really confused and don’t know what to do now.



Dear Adia,

Sorry to hear you have gone through such an awful ordeal. It’s brave you were able to open up and say what you have been dealing with, many are unable to say and end up suffering in silence.

Though you are saying you don’t know what to do from what you have told me in your letter you have made important decisions when it counts. Though you were distracted you initial decision to focus on your life as oppose to becoming distracted was a good decision.

Have faith in your ability to make good judgement  It’s important you realize what happened was not your fault and that what happened was against your will which makes what this man did to you abusive.

Sometimes when we are low or unhappy predators see this and take advantage of this by taking something they want away from you. You take some of this back by talking to someone you trust about what happened and dealing with this properly because it doesn’t sound like you’ve had a chance to do this.
Let’s See What Our Readers Have To Say Too! Guys, Please Chip In Your Advice To Help A Sister…

All the best.


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hey guys i think the case is too late for her to report
and again who took her there is it not her two legs????

Sir Nart says:

My advice is for you to just move on ok? Everything that misfortune that happens grants us to opportunity to learn a vital lesson, even stopped clock is twice a day. Your first guy taught you a lesson to make the decision not to get into any relationship till the right time and this will sure give you another lesson. But hey not all men will do this ok.

27calibre (O_0) says:

women are too soft ,some women are smart enough to avoid this damage …any way just be careful and you can still report him,nothing is too late girl


kabiru totti says:

my dear sister i know what you have pass throu is very painful. may God give you the heart and courage to move on and forget about what happen and the guy, never do this again

ticia says:

i know is very painful to experience this but girl u feel used after all the attention he gave u and he stop doing it
after he rape u so i think u want to take revenge on him b’cos he is not given u th attention anymore….. would u report him if he continue calling u ? gal delete HIM frm ur life n 4get the fact that he used u and if he call u hang the phone on him ..let him know what he did was wrng n dnt think of him hard to do but try

maame ama says:

lol we dont enter a male room without some desert… look at this small girl she doesn’t know the thing…GC readers make we teach her the thing.

Chief says:

@Dr. Miyagi, ma sister,ma advice to u is,forget it and pretend as if nothing has happend and move on with ur lyf ok?????

Dr. Miyagi says:


Adjoa Nbaaso) says:

Hehehehee..Women, women women ..WE are soo unique in our own ways.We are soo fragile and I def. can understand how the girl feels after having s*x with him.Men do u ve hearts at all?.hmmm..Adia, I dnt know how old u are but you sound a little younger thou.Ur situation is a bit complicated and what u need now is a strong heart.First of all, reporting this guy to the police might be a good d idea but isn’t it too late to do that and also the fact that u decided to go to his house doesn’t make this a rape case.Sweety, its two things , its either u have a strong heart and let him go or play around the games till u feel u can let go.Men are the most complicated creatures on earth and cant be trusted.Just try as much as u can and put yourself together so that fool will be ashamed.

@Adjoa Nbaaso), Sorry I have to disagree with you on this one. Whether the rape took place at his house, her house, or any other place it is still considered a rape. as long as it was not a consensual s*x the location is not a factor.  even married men gets charged for forcibly having s*x with their wives against their wish. 

timon says:

my girl, trust me, that guy really is nothing for you. If all he could do was to make you feel comfortable just so he could take advantage of you,then surely he has nothing better in stock for you. Solid relationships are not built on s*x, it is only obvious when his libido for you runs out ,the purpose for which he entered the relationship would become valueless. I strongly believe that if he had honest desire for you, he would respect your choices and obviously should have regained better control of his emotions. We all make mistakes but we never should allow our emotions to take the better of us so as to oversee such grievous and plane fore gleams of a relationship( marriage / regular) ending on rocks. Please, the truth is love yourself and share yourself with the self sacrificing one- you can find one they are around.


Dr. Miyagi says:

i am upset reading this,  just because you were close friends gives him no rights to violate you  is it your fault, he took advantage by not controlling himself, and took advantage i see him more as a s*x offender and you should have reported him in the first place without washing the evidence away cause the big mistake you made is to go to his house where it all happened he pretend to show you love and succeeded playing with your emotions by pretending to have feelings what I don’t understand is you just came out of a relationship which did not go well you met someone after a while pretending to be nice to you he invites you one day and you diced to go now that, that incident happened your branding us man not to be trusted I guess you met the wrong person at the wrong time and I’d your first relation did not go well and even your new friend did this to you than you need to slow your roll and do some praying cause u seem to make bad choices in life 

em says:

@Dr. Miyagi,lol this ur pic hmm.

Dr. Miyagi says:


Adjoa Nbaaso) says:

@Dr. Miyagi, Exactly, I agree with u.What women always forget is, men cant read us all the time.The girl went to his house thinking they were friends but when you are alone with a man in his OWN HOUSE ofcourse he might think u want something.Some men are dumb sometimes.

@Adjoa Nbaaso), hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I vowed never to comment on this site again but I couldn’t resist laughing. You are right, some men are really dumb.

jessi says:

@King kweku Quincy, ^why did you vowed never to comment here again?you are one of the fine guys here,please dont allow anybody to bully you here,this site is not for them and if you cant deal with them,give me the names i will handle them.

@jessi, awwww… I’m flattered. eii Jessy paa hahahahaa I never knew you’re a macho girl. By the way, nobody bullied me or anything like that, I made that decision because Chris doesn’t like honest contributors. He deleted most of my comments just because I disagreed with him. Anyway, @jessy, we can be friends outside GC if you want. I have facebook and Skype, do u have any of those? Lol

27calibre (O_0) says:

@King kweku Quincy, bro you dont have to let chris weigh you down by refusing you to comments ,is not by force to agree with GC ,move on with your comments here….
eiii but you paa you want meet maame gyata jessi ?

27calibre (O_0) says:

women are too soft ,some women are smart enough to avoid this damage …any way just be careful and you can still report him,nothing is too late girl

Adjoa Nbaaso) says:

@King kweku Quincy, Dont mind Chris.Its about time He stops that kind of lifestyle,At the end of the end of the day, our contribution is part of his website.I dnt know if he forgets that.

Adjoa, you really think I have time to read through people’s thousands of comment to remove those who do not agree with me? Like I really care if someone agree with me or not?

If I don’t want people to say anything, I will simply disable the comment section on an article…Is that not easier than sitting down to read thousands of comment when I could be working on next articles?

If anyone’s comments are not coming through, then the person needs to check whatever they write…We have a system in place now to automatically trash comments bearing certain words and insults…I don’t think you expect all the people coming here to say, f*ck this, f*ck that, your pu**y, you b*tch, without contributing anything meaningful via the comments to the site…

I want us to create a community of readers where people will respect each other, their opinions and send say what they think (free from insults). I will perfectly be happy if we have 4 meaningful comments than 1000 insulting comments…

So if his comments are not coming through, then the roboto/system moderator has flagged his comments as abusive. It is time people contribute to the site via commenting responsibly and not just come here to insult the writers and other readers.

Diverse opinion is good, and what I love most is when people intelligently do not agree with GC and go forward to state their rebuttal or reasons why they think GC is wrong…There will be no debate if everyone has to agree with us.

However, this does not mean go and insult people. This is how most Ghanaians are, I stopped listen to most radio stations in Ghana just because of this. Big old men who do not agree on this cannot just state reasons of disagreement or state their opinions on issues without insulting one another…

There is strength in opinions, especially when it is diverse but simply insulting people because you do not agree with them is absurd!You have been here long enough and you surely will know what I am talking about….

john says:

@Dr. Miyagi, you asshole think u know everything motherf*cker

Dr. Miyagi says:

Thank you@john,

Frog says:

U women are too complicated why do u base everything of urs on emotions.First of a guy that rapes u is not a gud person and after he professes luv and shows u care u fall for him??That’s strange on ur part and now that he has satisfied his lust and moving on u are clinging on to him??My advice to u is to move ahead and be very focused cos u don’t know what u want in lyf and thats bad for u

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