THE BIG QUESTION: Is Marriage A Cure For Promiscuity?

Last week, I watched one of my favorite movies of all time, “ The Best man” for the one thousand and one times with a couple of my male friends.

I remember  vividly this particular scene where the four friends, Lance( Morris Chestnut) , Murch ( Harold Perrineau) , Quentin ( Terrence Howard, my favorite character in the movie) and Harper ( Taye Diggs ,the best man) suddenly started a discourse on marriage.

I thought the discussion was rather profound and edifying. I hadn’t seen guys get personal and real like that in a while. (Funny you won’t get Ghanaian guys engaged in such a discussion, they will rather engage in football talk than“useless” talk like this. It is not one of their favorite things to discuss really).

One line in the discourse which caught my attention was the “Marriage is a cure to promiscuity” phrase uttered by Lance. And so I asked myself  “Is marriage a cure to promiscuity?” but I guess that wasn’t enough because I wanted to hear the candid opinions of my male friends with me, at least that way I could get a general overview of what African men thought about this assertion.

One of my male friends, a well-known playboy in “the game” held overtly and strongly that marriage was going to curb him from his promiscuous life. But oh, I forgot that was a play boy’s point of view. So when I realized I had just made a mistake, I proceeded to ask the others and I couldn’t believe that they said the same.

PROMISCUITY has rapidly gained roots in our society. It has become a way of having fun especially among men.

According to most men I know, it is a way of ‘testing water and surfing grounds’. The African man sees promiscuity as tasting different kinds of soup and knowing which one appeals most to his stomach.

Some say it is the changing of shirts to find the most suitable one. Many men out there believe that at the time they say their vows, they are automatically curbed of promiscuity. Is marriage really a cure for promiscuity as many African and African American men believe?

Seriously, is that really possible when we all know that promiscuity is a habit? Do you believe a man who takes pride in sleeping with women will suddenly stop after he has married?

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lola says:

So you are saying marriage is a cure abi.

kabiru totti says:

i think is all about love. if you love someone to the limit . that you can even lay down your life for the person. you cant cheat on such person bcos you are afraid that when you are caugth that will be the end of relationship.

Dr. Miyagi says:

You mailed it again i knew you would come back with some interesting topic thumps up lets talk about the people who are  Promiscuous they do not enjoy life more than an average person. They are more active and more careless in s*x. Is that what you want — loose and immoral? You are likely to join them in a hospital or special treatment centre after contracting gonorrhoea, syphilis or HIV/AIDS. Owing to their reckless lifestyle, they succumb to these s*xual diseases and by that time, it is too late to regret. Permissive people also become parents prematurely when pregnancies occur. This is due to their failure to take precautionary steps in the brief moments of passion. Some have to undergo shotgun marriages quickly arranged for sheer convenience. You envy the promiscuous woman because you compare her fun-loving life with your rigid existence. Yet you don’t have to be s*xless you can woo a woman and marry her. Or are you insinuating that one woman is not enough to satisfy your curiosity or lust? 

I don’t believe in cheating, but I do know that we all can get bored sometimes.For me, is not about the 5 things she can do or that I could do for her either. Is more about being honest, and if there is any problem, for her to let me know same as I let her know if I have any problem with her. Communication is the key to a healthy relation and I do play by that rule. In any case, both partners should always try to keep each other happy and be willing to experiment with new things. As humans, we can not keep on doing the same boring thing forever we have to have some changes. And changes have to be on everything, going out, vacations, work, house, clothes, hair style, s*x, everything! It keeps it interested and exited about things.  Anybody can correct me if you disagree or think I am wrong without any insult many thanks 

lola says:

@Dr. Miyagi, that is my doctor, always on point. Thumbs up to you too

Dr. Miyagi says:

Lol thank you miss lola@lola,

nanaama943 says:

@Dr. Miyagi, awwwww great as lola said you always on point lol you too much even madam yam legs would congratulate you for this.

Dr. Miyagi says:

Hahahahahahaa lol you got me laughing all the way@nanaama943,

naa asheley says:

@Dr. Miyagi, on point brother? From a real doctor’s point of view lol

Lakers Boateng says:

I think it time we men have to stay focus and try very hard to keep our relationships and be faithful to our women

lola says:

Yes men we need to hear your opinions on this oo. Lets get personal and real, people

B.B says:

Like the writer said, its a habit. And we all know old habits die hard. But from the little that I have observed some people are able to put an end to that life style of theirs after marriage ( especially the females). Most of them carry on, only that they become more careful. (the men)  

Where are the men? I need to read your opinions……….

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