Have you ever been in a relationship where your man has demanded that you gain weight because he likes big women?  Some men can actually threaten to leave a marriage or a relationship if the women do not adhere to their request.

Sadly, this happens in more relationships than we know or hear about.  It has been a personal experience and it also happened to my siblings.  I have two siblings who experienced this during their marriages.  In both instances, the men met them when they were slim and beautiful, but after years of marriage, they demanded that my sisters gain weight or they would leave!

Sadly, I watched my sisters turn their lives around by gaining weight to please these men in order to hold on to their marriages. Years after my sisters had gained all that weight and were unable to lose them, the men walked out of the marriages due to reasons known to them.

I hate to say this, but I feel my sisters reacted stupidly for gaining weight only to please a man. I will not change my lifestyle to please any man.  Remember that men approach you because of something they see and admire about you.  It could be the way you dressed, look, dance, etc.  And so if down the line, these same men suggest that you change something about you for them, you shouldn’t accept that.

I was also once in a relationship and experienced this. I have always been a big girl growing up. My weight increased during my childbearing years. In fact, I exploded in weight after three children and over 14 years of marriage. I saw that my husband enjoyed my status. As my kids grew, I decided to make some lifestyle changes by working on my weight. I began to exercise and eat less, and in three years I had lost significant amount of weight.

My ex-husband hated it! He saw the confidence that I began to exhibit and he wasn’t pleased with that at all. He began to question my reasons for exercising and losing weight. I told him it was for my health and sanity, and that didn’t sit well with him. He asked that I stopped losing weight while he ran every day.  “No way,” I said to myself. I am not going to stop losing weight. In fact I even worked harder at losing weight, and he hated me for it.

If a man is going to leave me, I would rather want him to leave when I am sexy, so that other men will find me attractive.

I am not going to let any man leave me when I am at my worst. Men are insecure, and they will try to ensure that you feel insecure too if you let them.

If you ever decide to gain or lose weight, change your dress code, or do anything in your life, do it for yourself. Don’t let any man tell you to do anything for them.