Dear GC Readers, Just Got Married, My Husband Wants A Baby Now & I Am Not Ready…My Career Is A Priority Now!

Worried Woman

Dear GC Readers,

I got married last year after being in a relationship with my man for three years. Married life has been all I hoped for but lately my husband has been putting on too much pressure on me to me have a baby.

When we met he knew I wanted to make sure my career was at its peak before becoming pregnant so I just don’t understand why the grief. It’s really getting me down.

I’ve been promoted at work and now I will need to travel within Europe from time to time, how can I get pregnant now?  My friend said if I don’t he will go outside which has made me so paranoid.

If I get pregnant now I will loose this amazing opportunity. After we were invited to a christening early this year, he didnt speak to me for days because someone asked me when we’re having ours. When I said there’s plenty of time and he walked off. We’re not old so kids can come anytime!

He has a good accounting job and thinks he makes good money for us both. Why does he get to have his dreams and I don’t?.

I’ve worked for over six years towards this senior position. He knows I’m not the type to be a kept woman. What am I supposed to do?

Dear Lilly,

Relationships and especially marriage is as you know is about compromise. Unless you sit and discuss how you can both meet each others needs the silent treatment may continue.

Sometimes when your man is appearing to be unreasonable or controlling it’s worth looking a how you can appease him and still do what makes you happy.

All the best.


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Naa T says:

I think you should have a proper chat about this…during which you can decide chidcare plans (live-in nanny if need be) then you can have career, husband and be a mum very good friend was in a similar situation and she had this chat with her hubby, he did agree to the live in nanny and she even agreed to pay the nanny from her own salary. the arrangement seem to be working quite well, she jus returned back to work after having the second.
Babies are life changing and call for adjustments but with proper planning you will be fine.
all the best

Akua says:

If you are never ready to get pregnant, then my dear you should have waited on getting married. Men expect their wives to have babies once they are married. The pressure is less when it is only a relationship. At this point, I believe you should sit down with your hubby, and give him some assurance that you will have kids. Give him a time frame that you will follow through. I believe your career is important, but your marriage is equally important too. And remember in the end, it would be worth while to lose your career than your your dream man. Also, remember to pray over it please. God has answers to everything we don’t. I wish you well.

Frog says:

@B.B, I hope it won’t be lyk that forever.I have seen that marriage is all abt compromises.If u refuse to soften ur stand on an issue ur partner will do the same to u when it is his/her to compromise and that is where break down in communication,mistrust and ultimately divorce will come

B.B says:

To Lilly, if you are really good at your job then at least you can sacrifice some few months and give the guy the baby that he so much want. From what i know, you can continue working until some few days before delivery (if there are no complications with the pregnancy). And you can start working again ASAP after delivery. All you need is a nanny and a breast pump for fresh milk for the baby.

How long do you think you can keep the young man waiting? I have a feeling once you get the position you want, you will be aiming for another one higher and another…………

The truth is, it doesn’t matter how many advice you get or the source, you know yourself better than anyone and you are the only one who can make the best decision.

Frog says:

Sometimes I dont understand women at all if u are prepared to get married I dont understand why u dont want children,This is the reason why some corporate remain single and alone.After the travelling,the experience and the money who are u going to give all to??Think twice

B.B says:

@Frog, am a woman but believe me what you wrote here was the first thing that came to my mind. Most of us woman can be selfish sometimes (am included……….lol).  Mostly its all about me, me, me, me when it comes to women.  

penelopeia says:

@Frog, Couples must know before marriage that children are not the reason for marriage. There is pressure from society and everywhere yes. I am only 10 months into my marriage and I can’t eat anything that will make my tummy large, I run for 30 mins 4 times a week else people will start congratulating once your stomach starts rounding up as a result of junk food. Couples should discuss when and the number of children they will have. I understand this woman perfectly but the timing is wrong it should have been discuss during courtship. I’ll say drop your working too and let the baby making s*x begin. yawn!!!!

`madam social says:

hmmm this is a tough one. like the above commenters said; you two need to sit down and talk about it either alone or with a counselor. maybe you can get a family member who will be willing to babysit once the baby is born or a nanny. this way you can still your job and travel around.

Pinto says:

U kno wat?..i think wat the two of u need to do is to sit n hav a matured discussion about this…wen I talk abt matured I mn the two of u,ur counsellors n the few ppl hu matter…i feel u hav a case bt u guys need to resolve it…becos u CANNOT!!!!become a divorce statistic..posterity will judge both of u..So think real hard n communicate…its very important!

The royal says:

Woman, My personal experience shows that,most women who put their career first before their husband ends up becoming single with no child by the time they become old. Travelling around will only give you experience but can never make you a sweet mother. From what you said, you Man is not lazy but working…think! A word to a wise…….

Abigail says:

@The royal, like your advice

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