THE BIG DEBATE: Is It Cheating If There Was No Sex?

A friend asked me yesterday “How often are affairs nons*xual? I’ve dated men who had wives and girlfriends. Most of these relationships were not s*xual, mostly because I wasn’t interested in s*x at the time”.

Interesting, I thought to myself. I responded sarcastically to her “I’m sure the wives and girlfriends of the men you didn’t have s*x with would appreciate your lack of interest in hitting the sack with their men”. After all, you didn’t sleep with them, right? This nons*xual relationship is what experts refer to as an emotional affair.

Some people define an affair as “a relationship between a person and someone other than their spouse or lover that has an impact on the level of intimacy, emotional distance and overall dynamic balance in the relationship or marriage.” Even though there’s no s*x, the relationship can be just as devastating as s*xual infidelity.

Unfortunately, the rate of recurrence of emotional affairs of this kind is hard to accurately quantify because few people confess, even anonymously, to an affair of any kind. And thanks to the convenience of technology and the overabundance of social networking sites that keep everyone so connected, people get to do all sorts of things secretly, without actually seeing the person they are doing these things with physically.

“It was just a hug,” “he/she’s just a friend”. Meanwhile you are whatsapping with him/her at midnight while your partner is fast asleep.

Some may say that an emotional affair doesn’t come with the pesky risks of s*xually transmitted infections and pregnancy. But isn’t it just like a s*xual affair? After all, it does contain deception, secrecy and most importantly, a breach of trust.

So, dear GhanaCelebrities.Com readers, what’s your take on this issue? Do you think that because there was no s*x, it can’t be classified as cheating? We would love to hear your opinions…

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I am a Ghanaian based in the United States, a blog enthusiast with fanatical interest in celebrity lifestyle, battle of the s*xes and general lifestyle issues of black women. You can understand my personality more through my writings so take the ride with me as I pour out my sentiments... E-mail:

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