GC Life 101: Would You Ever Marry A Pastor? One Woman’s True Life Story…

6 min


My girlfriend dated a guy for several years, and they eventually got married. They were together for close to 10 years between dating and marriage.  Three beautiful children came as a result of that long relationship. Unfortunately, the relationship was nothing to write home about.  There was so much abuse that involved physical, mental, verbal, and emotional from my friend’s ex hubby.

Amidst all these, she still thought it wise to hang on and continued to pray to God for a miracle of change for her hubby. But unfortunately change never came around as she had hoped for. The change that came about was the eventual divorce, which happened in 2007.

Shortly after her divorce, she began dating a very nice gentleman.  This guy was calm, gentle, humble, and respectful to my friend.  She said that after her ordeal in the previous relationship, her only prayer to God was that she should be given a good man. And to her she had found what she was looking for in the new guy.

They dated for almost five years, but strangely he never introduced her to his family members or friends, despite the fact that she had met her family and close friends on several occasions.  This was a concern for her, and after several futile attempts to persuade the guy to do the right thing, she finally decided to let go.

It wasn’t an easy decision because at this time of the relationship, her children had become fond of this guy and loved and respected him much.  He was a great guy by all standards, but there was still something questionable about his reluctance to introduce her to anyone close to him. He gave all sorts of reasons why he didn’t want to do that, which just didn’t add up at all.

My girlfriend finally broke up with this guy and they became friends with no strings attached.  My girlfriend is an attractive lady. She is educated, has a good job, well-spoken and articulate, beautiful by all standards and very hard-working.

She also has a good heart and she is a God fearing person.  Finding a man was no problem for her, it was finding the good one that was a challenge.

Shortly after the breakup with her boyfriend, she ended up in a brief relationship with this guy who came in as an angel, but was nothing shy of evil. He was just a liar, and within a few months, she saw through his lies. I guess she didn’t want to repeat the same mistake from the previous relationship knowing it would not lead to anywhere.

After this breakup, my girlfriend decided to take a different approach. She was going celibate! Like everyone else, when she told me about it, I just couldn’t stop laughing.  How was she going to pull that off?  I along with other friends and family knew that would be difficult to achieve, but she didn’t think so.

She just believed in herself and knew she could do it.  She said all she needed to do was fully commit herself to God and ask for strength. Her policy was that until she got married, there would be no sex for her.  She went on her knees day and night to pray to God because she believed that the God who condemns fornication will not punish her for doing the right thing. Her prayers were grounded on 1 Corinthians 7:2.

Many men who approached her for a relationship thought she was crazy or was living in a dreamland after she made her conditions known.  Some men actually laughed at her over that statement of “no marriage, no sex principle.”  Irrespective of the mockery she experienced from men, friends and family members, she still stood her grounds and continued her celibacy for a year.

Then one day, she had a proposal from this nice gentleman for a relationship.  As she always did, she made her stance known to this guy.  Strangely, this guy was ready to do anything she wanted.

After knowing what each other wanted in the relationship, they began dating.  A month into their date, my friend found out that the man was a pastor! Huh!! She was shocked and in disbelieve.

The man didn’t tell her about his profession. She stumbled upon this information when in his absence a message came through his phone from an old church member.  She peeked at the message, and that is how she learned about this secret.

She was confused, and felt betrayed.  She wanted to ask him about it, but how was she going to do that? Will he think that she went through his phone in his absence or what would he think about her?

Well, after contemplating for a while, she gathered courage and asked him whether or not he was a pastor.  Interestingly, the man answered” yes.”  She was furious! “Why didn’t you tell me about it,” she asked.

The man softly said “I didn’t tell you because I knew this was how you would react when you find out.”  He went on to say that his position as a pastor has driven some prospective wives away, but he believed that they were not meant for him. He apologized for not telling her, and told her that she was not obliged to continue the relationship if she didn’t want to, but he believed that if truly they are meant to be together, then it will be so.

My friend left him and went home. She was confused and angry, but still continued with her prayers for a sign from God to indeed prove whether the pastor is meant for her or not.  She had several dreams and in all her dreams, she claimed they were together.

She joined another friend to a prayer meeting, and during a prayer, the pastor revealed that someone among them was to get married soon, but the person’s afraid because of insecurity. The pastor went on to say that the man coming into that person’s life is a great man of God and that that person shouldn’t be afraid because it is a marriage from God.  Right there, my friend said she didn’t care if the message came for 20 people there, all she knew was that the message was meant for her.

She went home, and the next day called on the pastor and they began dating again. Within months after coming back together, they decided to get engaged with her pastor coming over to officiate the ceremony.  They are now planning a bigger ceremony next year, and to be honest I have not seen my girlfriend so happy.

What she tells me is that God will never bring you a bad thing when you fully commit yourself to him.  Not only did my friend find a powerful man of God who is a pastor at a Presbyterian church, but indeed God sent her a very handsome, calm, intelligent, well-spoken, humble, respectful, and an articulate person.

This man has been a pastor more than 15 years…

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GC Life 101 is feature on GhanaCelebrities.Com. This looks at various life realities in short story forms as we try to entertain, educate and inform our readers on a variety of life experiences. Articles for GC Life 101 will be filed under Blog.



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Yaa Kesiwaa is a trained Life Coach based in Los Angeles, USA. She is a nurse by day and member of a local community book club by night. She loves all things Gollywood and finds research on the latest issues concerning costuming and lifestyle to be of utmost importance. Her fashion and lifestyle knowledge is wide and blogging is her [email protected] BBM pin: 2320FEE4

13 Comments

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  1. Beautiful
    I still would not do it, you have to be a prayer warrior and have great management skills to be pw but most important have one of those strong large families to support u in the highs n lows of church society

    1. @Xotl, hahahahaha prayer warrior to be a pastor’s wife! I know she is not, but she does pray regularly and she is good at that. Well, maybe now that she has the title as pastor’s wife she will be a prayer warrior lol.

  2. I think it may depend on the life style of the person.Cos if u are an outdoors person it wld be really difficult to marry a pastor.Going for parties,concerts,awards ceremonies,beaches may not be a bad thing but it will raise some eyebrows

    1. @Frog, You are certainly right. Going to beaches may probably raise some eyebrows, but when they are specially invited to parties and award shows, I believe they can attend. Remember, it is always how you compose yourself at the event that matters as she knows that people are watching. Honestly, my friend loved to have fun, but she has drastically slowed down, and she seems to be not bothered by the change at all. When God calls you, He will prepare you for the task ahead.

  3. hmmmmmm, i have thought about the question for a whole day before commenting…a pastor?? hmmmm again, i just dont know, with my outdoor kind of lifestyle…a pastor, maybe…i dont know what God has planned for me but it takes more than just being a christian to marry a pastor….God should strengthen me!!