Before any of you jump unto me, let me state that this piece equally applies to white people but since my audience is predominantly black, I will stick with this title.
To get me started, I have considered several meanings of the word ‘insecurity’ with the following being widely accepted;
Insecurity is a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving of oneself to be vulnerable in some way, or a sense of vulnerability or instability which threatens one’s self-image or ego.
An insecure individual has to constantly repeat through words or actions how great or attractive they think they are or how certain they think their position is when clearly they’re not entirely sure about it. They might be trying to convince themselves its all true.
Why Am I Saying We Are Extensively Insecure As Black People?
I am not looking at the sort of insecurities we develop as a result of our relationship with others, these are things we do not have control over.
I am talking about our failure to embrace and accept who we are; which leads us to re-construct ourselves and images in a way we think would be acceptable when we have to be out there.
Skin bleaching is a classic example of this but since we all know about it, I would not waste your time with that. I am considering a common trait of insecurity that we have all bought into, leaving behind our real personalities and images, a fast developing mannerism that we are gradually embracing.
Have you realize that, you can longer see your own friends out of their make-up personality? I can’t remember the last time I saw my best friend without a make-up and I know she can’t even think of when she saw me without one.
Even on a girls’ night in when my best friend is simply coming to spend time with me at home, I rush to cover what only God knows on my face with make-up. I have a perfect spotless face but somehow, I have found myself in being insecure about the real me. I only feel good and presentable (according to my own feeling) when I have muddied my face with make-up.
You can sort to feel good about yourself by saying; this is enhancing your looks. But you and I know, this is more than that.
If the above does not worry you, what about this;
When was the last time you say your friends’ raw photos on any of the social networking sites? All shared photos are being enhanced-either via Photoshop or one of the numerous photo enhancement/editing apps.
What is it that we are insecure about to the extent that, apart from the make-up we wear, we still have to enhance our photos to construct a certain image of ourselves for our own friends and family?
I have stopped looking at photos on Facebook and Instagram and I deeply pity any guy who will pay attention to any of these photos.
It seems we are lost in our own personalities. At least I am and I am being real about it.
When did digitally enhanced photos become so ordinary that we all have to opt for it in our everyday images, in order to construct that person we wish we are…What happens to who we really are?
Here comes the question again; Are we that insecure as people? Why are we leaving our real self behind and constructing deceptive images of ourselves?
Did I mention that the guys do it too? My friend chatted a guy for several months and when they finally met, he was not anywhere fair as seen in all those photos he sent to her.
I am not saying being dark is a problem but what was he trying to achieve through the colour enhancement methods he incessantly used on all the photos he sent her?
Slowly, it seems we are making ourselves more and more insecure and technology is aiding us in doing this.
Soon, I believe there will be a mirror which will give us a desire reflection of ourselves so that we will never see who we really are any more…After all, it seems all we want is to leave behind who we are since we are glad to appear to be anything else except our own selves.
If you think this is not insecurity, let me know what it is…Maybe, that will make me feel better about own generation.
A wonderful piece….it was worth every minute of the timeI spent to read. Kudos!
Can u kindly take My picture off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Excellent piece GC. It is just unbelievable now days. You go through facebook photos and all you see are edited photos. And the sad part of it is that, all these photos are digitally enhance to look fair, none will be edited to make the person black or dark.
All you find now adays is polished faces and digitally generated skins. We are indeed secure and no one is doing this to us, we are doing it ourselves. Air brushing simple photos and making you appear all white is not the way but we are all doing it.
I thought it was only models and professional who did this a lot, now we are all guilty of deceiving ourselves
@TiffanyBabe, whussup?
@TiffanyBabe, BLESS YOU, BUT THAT PICTURE IS THE EDITED VERSION OF YOURSELF….WITH ALL THAT WEAVE AND MAKEUP! OH HYPOCRITE*
@TiffanyBabe, In the States, the white people tan their skin to look dark, get lip injections to have thick lips, and have butt injections for big but, things that are natural to black women. Black is beautiful and it’s about time we learn to love what God have given us.
Had a classmate from a west African nation who for one solid year never showed her Naija man her real eyes, when he asked she insisted they are contacts for astigmatism n that her eyes are truely hazel. Eventually he dumped her plastic ass unceremoniously(I believe he got tired of the sexier n lack of owning up to certain things). Biggest mistake cuz the guy was a great catch, engineer, swag, well to do, n loved her). But she was dumb for a preMed, she wore fashion fair make up about two shades too light, constantly rocked turtlenecks with suits n would always wear breads even though her own natural hair was waist length. I mean her fear of her true self was astounding n bothersome.
I kept my mouth out of it, eventually even I stopped being friends with her. Theses days I speak on it, it’s a problem how plastic our people are. I’m not saying everyone should look the same, I’m just tired of the fake this n that.
I agree with this post for the most part. Nowadays young girls are kind of hyperexperimenting, it’s how you find what works for you and what doesn’t and how you found your personal things. Which is great because they are about the only ones who can pull it off. Even though I’m not a girl Makeup is not necessary. Women are beautiful in their natural skin, why photoshop yourself to be something your not? Girls usually end up having bad skin while using makeup and we guys like girls who look NATURAL. Makeup is a mask, and keeping it natural gives you the benefit of saving yourself from all this “makeup” and lots of people personally dislike it, guys included… only because it is completely unnecessary. Some girls really overdo it bunch of cartoon faces girls its only a face not a colouring board
I agree with the writer but disagree on the part about makeup. You see, I wish I could always keep my face like that but although I am fairskinned, I have so many black spots and so have to cover up with makeup. I have tried everything for the spots from clear essence to forever living and have even gone to rabito but the spots remain so I have no choice. The writer says her skin is clear so maybe she doesn’t understand that other women don’t have good skin that they can always show like that.
You may need to see a dermatologist or a nutritionist about the @Afia,
@kesImisUnderstood, thanks, I’m seeing one at rabito clinic, they’re really good but have made me understand that black spots on black skin are one of the most difficult things to treat so I’m using the cream they gave me but it’ll take a long time.
It’s true, sunscreen and toner can help as well my dear. Plus drink LOTS of water@Afia,
I 100% agree with this article but not all ppl photoshop their pics just to look nice or fair or W.E, I sometimes photoshop pictures for videos, gallery,etc for programs on my campus. I just do it just for the heck of it. & I also like editing stuff so i THINK tht cld also be the reason why ppl do that.
AMAZING PIECE!! shoutout to the few remaining black girls out there!!
U are a complete fool! Why talk abt insecurity, bleaching make up and all dat nonsense and not put your own picture out there to be judged??. This is completely insane!! If u want change u begin with yourself coward!
@Katie, must everything be about bleaching in ghana? I remember when I waz dere, sum pple kept telling me that I was bleaching when I am doing such.fyi; this is what exactly the op is talking about insecurity
insecurity is within, what are we talking about here?. when we feel that we were not created well and others are better off than we are, that is where insecurity sets in. i dont believe enhancing ones beauty is wrong or photoshoping(doing it rightly) what matter is how one feels inside . lets gets our lifes back and have a purpose in life, u will not stand a minute to think that someone is better off than we are.the trueth be told that every tom dick and harry has some thing he is not proud off, but you got to work around it and not the other way round.. cheers.
I don’t think we are Insecure its just that we are following the modern trend blindly
I just don’t understand why dark black people want to be light. its ridiculous!!! black is so beautiful!. if you’re light then good for you! what do you want? a fucking medal?! and if you’re dark then that’s cool too. just stay the way you are!