Being with Kwadwo always gave me so much fulfilment. So I never asked any questions hence after 3 years he still hadn’t put a ring on it. Our times together were intense with happiness. Happiness I believed was mutual. He loved me, and I loved him.
We were the toast of society. Upper class families, PhD’s, Old money and good jobs. Yet, the years rolled by and still my wedding finger remained bare. Once in awhile our friends poked their noses asking why we wouldn’t make it official. I guess they got tired of my eager, yet pained face at other people’s weddings.
My heart was anxious and worn. So how did I feel when I woke up one bright morning to the news that Kwadwo had married another woman?
It felt like the sun had fallen haphazardly through my sky and left a huge burning hole.
I was speechless, motionless, stoic through my days.
My counsellor asked me in therapy…”did he propose to you?” I said no,
She asked “so what were you dating him in anticipation of?”
I was silent. Of course I had no answer. She said “My lady, that man did not cheat on you, he had no obligations towards you because he had made you no promises”
Young women of today let so much go with the excuse of being enlightened. If that man has not come to you to say he wants to marry you, but you agree to date him, then of course he is free to marry you or not. Because there was no goal to begin with. And no, you have no right to hold him to ransom because the end was open to anything. Left undefined.
She was right. I wept; I mourned the loss of my pride. I wept out the public disgrace while another woman walked down the aisle with my man.
I hated her. This sweet woman who didn’t even know I existed.
Exactly 8 months after they got married, Kwadwo was at my door in the middle of the night. Begging me to understand, telling me he loved me more but I had a bad attitude which he couldn’t stand.
He swore he wanted me back in his life but things were complicated.
You had think I would have learned by now. But the simple thought that I was taking him back from this woman, made me feel superior. Yes, he had run back to me. He must love me because if he loved her more he wouldn’t be back here right?
He spent so much time with me. Surely she must know her husband was out with someone?
I fell back in his arms. I let his tongue smooth as silk clothe me, I let him back in my life, in my bed, in my head and heart.
I felt Triumphed. Yes, I had won.
So when Edinam kept singing ‘your secret love will never be your true love…’ I honestly wanted to smack her over.
We weren’t exactly a secret. He just needed to do things decently. Time to leave her for me, but we had to keep it quiet for now.
So yes, I couldn’t cry neither could I smile when I had to sit behind Kwadwo and his wife at public functions by day and act like strangers while I warm his bed by night.
I consoled myself with the fact that it was me he truly loved.
I let a lot slide for 5 years and Kwadwo stayed married to his wife while he fed me stories of a seeming end in sight.
I was hopeful, blind to the flight of time as I passed my prime. Eventually, I turned up pregnant.
What did Kwadwo have to say? He asked me to get an abortion. Because he couldn’t support two homes.
Our love child. How could he even ask me to do this? I refused any such thing and that was the last I saw of him. He suddenly rediscovered his undying love for his wife, his motto changed to me trying to trap him. Trap him? After practically eight years of loving him?
Unanswered texts, emails, calls…He shut me totally out. Made me a stranger overnight.
I lay alone in my bed with a bottle of deadly pills and a sharp knife on my wrist contemplating which was the faster way to go?
Am I really the victor or the victim? How could I let myself be lured into such buffoonery?
I wasn’t the first so how did I manage not to listen? How many more young women get to be this foolish before we realise we are not exceptions to the rule? Stand your ground and demand some regard for yourself.
If you have to hide, it’s probably not worth it.
GC Life 101 is a feature on GhanaCelebrities.Com. This looks at various life realities in short story forms as we try to entertain, educate and inform our readers on a variety of life experiences. Articles for GC Life 101 will be filed under Blog.
i really love this article………..i hope we learn from it!