It is so irritating when people brag about meeting the parents of a girlfriend or boyfriend. “…But his parents adore me”/ “But he introduced me to his mum!” The cry of an angry girl whose boyfriend has just done the walkies. I’ll limit this article to the ladies because we place so much emphasis/significance on meeting a guy’s parents. In our pretty little minds, it is the official note of being joined in holy matrimony but in actual fact, it is really not a big deal for the men.
Some ladies ask: Surely a guy doesn’t introduce you to his parents if he’s not serious about you or ready to settle down with you…To be fair, some guys take ladies to meet the parents because they genuinely want to settle with them.
Sometimes, I always want to believe that ladies make a big deal out of nothing – correct me if I’m right. We also have a nasty habit of projecting our own ideas about why we would be doing something instead of looking at the individual and the situation. ‘Well if I was introducing him to my parents it would be a big deal so it must be a big deal to him’
Let’s be real, if as a woman, your son waltzes different women through your place every week, unless you really want to embarrass him, it is very unlikely that you’ll mention anything or tell him off in the presence of the girl and will treat the her as you will do to every other girl because you just get used to that behaviour.
Some ladies place far too much importance on things that are only right in certain contexts. Some guys introduce ladies to the parents (usually the mum) when they (the parents) always enquire about ‘their future daughter-in-law’. When a mother keeps asking when their son will get serious with relationships; the only way to keep ‘mummy’ happy is to introduce a lady to keep her quite. When the relationship breaks down before they tell their misgivings about the girl he introduced.
To a woman, her son is always right. I had housemates (guys) who had contracted me to act the girlfriend. It’s just saying hello to their mothers in Ghana and the unsuspecting woman is just too pleased to have long talks with me. When the issue of marriage crops its ‘scary’ head ‘oh we broke up’ at least puts them in a better position than not introducing anybody at all.
I always say to keep someone quite, just be in agreement with whatever they say to keep the peace (especially if it doesn’t cause any harm). If a guy wants to use that calculating side, meeting his parents is a manoeuvre that shuts you up because some men are clever enough to recognise that in including you in that aspect of their lives that you will believe that there is more to the relationship than there actually is…and stay off their backs.
Sometimes after all the dizzy moments or fantasies of how your would-be ‘in-laws’ will treat or accept you when you finally meet them, they just don’t approve of their son’s choice. Trust African mothers who are very good at pretending, the looks they give alone will quickly weaken your bladder to piss in your pants. The type of looks which will sum up all what she has got to say to you.
Meeting the parents really is not a big deal. That is not a comfort zone neither is it the moment of dreaming about how your kids will look like. If the introduction is too quick when he barely knows you, I’d probably be a bit cautious. He might be **cough** gay as the lady being his cover-up.
Try before you buy mentally is the new craze among men; taking you to meet the parents may also be part of the trial. It makes sense to also ‘try’ his parents before you ‘buy’ them (if you can cope with them) and don’t read too much meaning into it. Some ladies even assume the ‘I was almost married’ tag when the relationships break-down as if they were dumped at the altar.