Everybody makes mistakes. But not everyone is always aware that they made a mistake. Sometimes those mistakes don’t hurt anybody, for instance, a friend might purchase a pair of shoes that you might find ridiculous but if they are comfortable and happy; it’s not a big deal. There’s no need to ruin their day by letting your feelings out.
But most of the time those mistakes does not only hurt the makers but people around them. Who has to be the one to tell them? In this case, you do. The trick is to be able to do so without hurting the feelings or the relationship you have with them. If gone about the wrong way, it could cause some irreversible damage. Criticisms, unlike compliments, are to be given sparingly and at the right time. So how do you get around letting them know how you feel without bruising egos?
First of all, you should consider if you REALLY need to tell them. Like with example mentioned earlier, you can understand that it’s not everything that needs to be said. Sometimes you just have to live with whatever is bothering you because most likely, there’s something you do that bothers others. If they are happy and it does not affect you, chances are that you can keep your opinions to yourself unless they bring it up.
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However, if it’s serious, say, a partner is cheating; you would definitely want them to know. Except you are in the guilty party! In that case, it would be very hard though I still think you should be honest. It is much easier to forgive (I don’t know about the ‘forgetting’ part) if YOU told them than if they found out. And please don’t try to make yourself feel better by thinking they will never find out. Every day for the thief… (Complete it)
Next, try to avoid using insults, because in such cases the attention is drawn away from the problem and unto the insults and you would have done more harm than good. It doesn’t matter what your intentions might have been. You could try saying, “That wasn’t your best. It could have been better” as opposed to “That was absolutely rubbish! Everything was a terrible mess!” Catch my drift? In some cases, they might still feel insulted; try as you may, so make sure to explain why this bothers you so much.
Another way is to try redirecting the blame. Don’t start your sentences with “You…” Instead begin with “I”. This simple change will make you sound a lot less argumentative and would make the person feel less like it’s their entire fault. They would get the sense that it’s something wrong with you and not them. It makes the blow mush easier to bear.
Finally, be polite. Use “please” and “excuse me” a lot. Just because they did something wrong doesn’t mean you should be rude. Pull them aside and tell them what is bothering you instead of making a scene in front of a crowd. You won’t come out with a good image and washing your dirty laundry in public will just bring more problems.
Remember that we all make mistakes (including you) and people will treat you exactly how you treat them so going the extra mile to be nice brings the love back to you double fold!
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