It is obvious that men and women communicate differently, and they have unique needs. A woman may long to share her feelings openly and often. Many men, on the other hand, try to preserve peace by solving problems quickly and avoiding thorny issues.
By treating your mate with respect, you can bridge these differences and communicate with your husband or wife.A respectful person values others and seeks to understand their feelings. In Ghana, a person is taught from infancy to respect those who have more authority or experience than he or she has.
In marriage, however, the challenge is to show respect to someone with whom you are on more of an equal footing. One might listen patiently and speak respectfully to friends and even strangers. Yet, when it comes to his/her marriage, he/she is not considerate to his/her mate.
Disrespect creates tension in the home and leads to bitter conflict. How then can one communicate respectfully?
Many people like to talk more than they like to listen. Before you talk, listen. Why? (I choose to answer this question with another question) How would you understand what a person is really talking about if you do not listen to him/her? (Think seriously about it)
On the other hand, some men and women hesitate to express themselves and feel uncomfortable if their mate pressures them to talk about their feelings. If you and your mate need to talk about something potentially divisive, raise the matter when both of you are calm and relaxed.
If you confront your mate too forcefully, your mate may become defensive and the opportunity to draw him or her out may be lost. Instead, ask questions gently and respectfully, and be patient if your mate does not articulate feelings as quickly as you would like.
When your spouse does speak, be swift about hearing and slow about speaking. A good listener listens not only with the ears but also with the heart. When your mate speaks, try to understand his or her feelings.
He/She will sense your level of respect or disrespect by the way you listen. By doing so, you will show that you respect your mate.
Sitcoms make it appear normal to speak badly about one’s mate and to be insulting and sarcastic. Some grow up in homes where disrespectful speech is typical. Later, when they marry, they find it difficult to avoid this pattern in their own family.
When you talk to others about your mate, impart a favorable impression of your spouse by the way you speak about him or her.
I remember the experience of a family friend in Koforidua about himself, the wife, and his friend. He narrated his story like this.
There was a day where he had visitors visiting him at home. He asked his wife to prepare food for the visitors and himself. After some time, the wife finished cooking. It was therefore time for the husband to dine with the visitors. Whilst dinning, the husband noticed the food the wife had prepared was salty. What would you have done if you were the husband?
This is what the man did. He called his wife and asked her to get him an additional salt to add to the food. The visitors then voiced out and complained the food was already salty, so why would he ask for extra salt. His answer was simple. “I love salt very much so I make my wife add lot of salt to my food. This is even small for me.”
Why do you think the man did this? Not because he loved salt. He did that to safeguard the image of his wife in front of the visitors. Let me ask again, which wife would not be proud of such a husband?
When you speak with your mate or to others about him/her, choose your words carefully. By that you would be showing respect to your spouse.
It’s time for people to show respect to their spouses and stop focusing on just being married.