We tend to complain when people disrespects and mistreats us in relationships and we just allow it to continue. The general consensus is that, it is men who are the worst offenders but I think it’s some women who have sent a clear message to them that they’ll accept anything including being disrespected and abused. I am not making excuses for them but as women, we unknowingly sow the ‘I’ll accept any crap’ seeds into the mind of a man because we want something in return from them; so when those seeds germinate in their minds, they treat the women accordingly.

You often hear people complain ‘he/she treats me like an idiot’…but who allowed him/her to treat you like an idiot in the first place? The reality is until you allow somebody to disrespects or mistreat you, it won’t happen. Most of us, if not all, have in one way or the other been disrespected by others and either we sought ways to end it, allow it or believed we deserved that treatment because of whatever the person is doing for us.

The first time people tend to mistreat/disrespect, we just give them the benefit of the doubt (just find excuses for them as to why they’re doing that), then if it happens again, it’s either we take the decision of not associating ourselves with them or just tell them (non-verbally) that ‘I’m fine with this so you’re at liberty to just go on doing it’.

Sometimes, we come into contact with people who prize themselves highly over everyone else (men especially); there’s no iota of humbleness in whatever they do or say to others with an annoying dose of self-centredness and I don’t blame them that much because they’ve come into contact with people (ladies) who have made them quasi-gods so it’s like a license for them to behave anyhow to anyone they meet. And it’s so intriguing that these people do not tolerate nonsense but they expect others to tolerate their nonsense attitude and behaviour.

You deserve happiness and more from relationships with others. In order to have more, you must take control of your life and make some changes. Change starts with you. It doesn’t sound wise to others if you complain you’re always being disrespected, mistreated or even look down upon because you have a choice to move away from situations like that. If you don’t want to move away from situations like that but if necessary, disassociate yourself from people who only gives you grieve and nothing else or you grin and bear it…but whilst you’re bearing it, don’t forget that somewhere along the line; you just lose the sense of who you are.

You teach people you meet how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop and what you reinforce…The solution points to YOU.