With all the single women in abundance, some men are still looking for wives. Call it lacking in the midst of plenty and I don’t get it (maybe because I’m female). I know ladies also have the ‘he is not a husband potential’ attitude and mind set when they date some guys…but they have very good enough reasons (I’m not talking about the ladies who seek vain things in a man) but the same cannot be said when it comes to the men (it may not be a fair statement but true).

A friend said to me he is looking for a wife (and he’s got the girlfriend/s) but if push comes to shove, he’ll go back home and marry (as if the ladies back home are any better….no offence). According to him:

“Girlfriend material does not equate to wife material. There are some ladies you can ‘girlfriend’ them but not ‘wife’ them whiles some girlfriends can progress to wife status. Simply put; if you are dating to date then the pool is more abundant. If you are seeking a husband/wife the pool is less abundant and for good reasons. A lifetime is a long time. The good women, the quality ones seem to either don’t want to be bothered, not looking to marry anytime soon or play eternal hard to get which gets old in a setting full of other beautiful women”.

*She’s suitable for a girlfriend but not a wife (can’t cook, can’t take care of a home, can’t…., can’t…)

*She’s too full of pride, the negative type (hmmm….OK, that’s a valid point – but….)

*She comes with too much trouble (if you can manage the trouble as a boyfriend, why can’t you manage it as husband)

That is where I don’t understand. Men list attributes they want in a woman and they don’t even possess half of what they have on that list…Sometimes, you don’t seek for what you don’t have or better still, you meet people halfway. I am not in any way saying one should just jump to marry a lady because she’s a girlfriend but you don’t give hopes and ‘marriage vibes’ to a woman who is in the relationship seeking marriage. If for genuine reasons, she’s a girlfriend material and not a wife material, you let go so she can be located by someone who sees marriage potential in her. Some men love to cook and do household chores so finding a woman who can’t do it may not be a problem. Each to his/her own.

Some keep ‘tasting and dumping’ well into their early to mid-40s with the ‘men can always have kids at any age’ badge boldly displayed on their chest. By the time they realize their preferences/likes/dislikes/choices/priorities are just non-negotiable, old age has caught up with them and they sometimes end up marrying very young girls (their unborn daughters age mate). Take a walk down some London parks and you will see grey haired men pushing their year old kid and their ‘little wife material madams’ displaying a proper girlfriend material attitude…..Back to ground zero!

Unless a relationship nose-dives, it’s selfishness for a guy to be in a relationship with a lady who he considers ‘girlfriend’ material and go searching for a ‘wife’ material when he knows so well that the lady is expecting marriage from the union. When a lady is at the receiving end of not being good enough to marry after she’s dreamed and re-dreamed how her wedding day is going to be like and a man pushes her back to settle with the ‘good’ woman, the scorned one is right to go on a damaging spree….but practically it’s not going to change anything.

I think if women listen more to what a man is not saying and listen less to what he’s saying…we can pick up the cues and start walking early instead of waiting for our replacement before we face reality.

Some start by telling long tales and having conversations with subtle tones of ‘you better advise yourself girl’ because they know very well that the tales they’re telling is not going to make ‘straight-thinking’ girl stay with them . I remain unrepentant in my assertion that it doesn’t take ‘forever’ for a man/woman to know what he/she wants from a relationship or what he/she desires in a person unless of course one is still ‘sowing the wild oats’

…. And that is my opinion!