Relationships can sometimes suffocate. When feelings start wearing off, boredom sets in or one begins to feel he/she needs a major overhaul. During that period is when some partners decide to take a step back to re-evaluate the relationship by spending some time apart. Spending time apart is not necessarily a bad thing, but alarm bells definitely starts ringing when the time spent apart gets unnecessarily longer than normal. It’s a step which makes or breaks a relationship.

‘Let’s take a break’ from a relationship of 4 months or less is one not to invest heart and energy into. Don’t keep your fingers crossed. It was a testing mic period. The person more or less is ‘trying’ to tell you ‘I didn’t see clearly, we’re done, so therefore, go hit up whoever you need to, you’re no longer my concern’ – That kind of break. If you’re dealing with a ‘comedian’, he/she will initiate a ‘let’s be apart to see if we want this relationship to work out’. For this kind of short-term relationships, I don’t think one need to even waste their time dreaming up a way to do a runner, just go.

I personally think taking a little break (a week or two maximum) can be seen as a rejuvenation of the relationship, so partners return to each other stronger and healthier. It actually help clear the confusions and frustrations internally (if any), and help both of you focus on your own faults and desires in the relationship. At their best, breaks allow couples to realize how special what they have really is, but more often than not, couples use them to avoid problems that needs solving or they are fed up solving the same problems over and over again. Whatever issues couples have won’t be solved by being apart for months on end. If you can’t address or work through your issues – move on!!

People sometimes take breaks because they want a safety net (for live-in couples). They are not asking for time off to sit in a dark room to meditate and read books about healthy relationships. They’re using the time to be silently single (be themselves, do their thing) and you know a single person is free to mingle and free to put plan B into action. When all else fails, then they’re ready to return to you (a sure thing) because they know the partner is awaiting their return with open arms. Yaay, you guys are back together but then you’re a ‘fall back’ girl/guy.

It’s not a bad idea to take a breather from relationships but when the ‘let’s take a break’ happens because of issues in the relationship, communication is a much better alternative. Sometimes a partners pent up frustrations is just finding a vent and communication solves that ‘problem’. People have lost great relationships which had chances of working out to ‘perfection’ because they overlooked the cheapest way of sorting it out.

Let me play the devil’s advocate here but most ‘let’s take a break’ is a prelude to a breakup whereby the person has been long gone in mind and ‘spirit’. They’re just using their conscience as an excuse. People try to mask ‘I’m moving on or want to move on’ by going ‘safe’ with ‘let’s take a break’.

And during the ‘holiday season’, if you believe in your hearts of hearts (ladies) that it’s really a time apart period, just back up the waiting time with prayers because I heard the single ladies are all defecting to the celestial (white garment) churches….hope you know what they do there?