There could be different definitions or assumptions of what a healthy relationship is. Good health in its general sense is often attributed to a healthy body and a sound mind. It will therefore not be strange to ask if your relationship as an important area of your life is sound enough to bring you comfort and satisfaction. Relationships are hard, but so is life and every relationship is unique and dynamic with its challenges peculiar to their nature, structure and the people involved. Passionate/romantic love relationships are fleeting.
We experienced the “high” of a new relationship, and desperately cling to it when it seems to fade away. And except in rare partnerships, it does fade…or rather change. Fading passion in any relationship (short of abusive ones) can be regained when it is worked on.
Sometimes, moving onto the next partner isn’t any more likely to be better the next time around as it’s almost certain one will fall back on old patterns and the cycle begins -wild passion, sex, and initial crazy bonding pass… and it will pass.
What a healthy or toxic relationship is will differ from person to person. There are things people would enjoy and celebrate if done with and for them. These include the way they are treated, respected, valued and presented in public places and that to them makes their relationship a healthy one; anything apart from these makes their relationship a toxic one.
A healthy relationship should be devoid of blackmails, emotional abuse and threatening behaviour (more like trying to hold the relationship hostage). When one person is always threatening the commitment of the relationship when he/she is ‘constructively’ criticised, it creates unnecessary drama. ‘I’ll kill myself if you leave me’…if the person really wanted to die, they won’t communicate their intention in the first place. It doesn’t help in any way.
It’s crucial for both people in a relationship to know that negative thoughts and feelings can be communicated safely to one another without it threatening the relationship itself. If one cannot communicate what he/she feels because of the fear of losing the relationship, the only thing it breeds is resentment. When he/she cannot bottle it up anymore, they pack and go (when the blackmailer was not expecting it).
