We are in an era where selfishness reigns supreme. One can conveniently say he/she is in a happy relationship but in reality, is in a parasitic one where he/she is hurting at the expense of the other. Think about mosquitoes always biting/draining/sending you off to the hospital and the mosquitoes keep growing fatter and fatter – that is how parasitic relationships work. Some people don’t detect they’re in such relationships until it’s too late and some are fully aware of what they’re into but cannot be bothered to deal with it because they don’t want to go back to the single life again.
One can be in a parasitic relationship without knowing because of how the ‘parasite’ in the relationship operates. A parasitic boy/girl does not feed on money or resources but time, psychological, emotionally – in short, they just drain you of your wellbeing.
Every relationship should be mutually beneficial – substantially…not a worthless one. Many people who act as parasites are oftentimes not even aware of what they’re doing. A person who does not take responsibility for his/her action, likes playing blame games or just lack empathy are sometimes parasitic – they believe that people are sources of resources rather than emotional beings that deserve time, love and support.
They become experts at using people around them, and then discarding them when their usefulness has been depleted. They mistake people’s gentility for stupidity. A parasitic relationship is a harmful relationship for the host. Therefore, it is important to identify it early, so further damage can be forestalled.
People who love each other give more than they take. As a relationship is formed or continued, both individuals gain more trust, reliability and insight into each other’s needs. Although no one can meet every need the other may have, they do their best to be considerate, understanding and helpful but when it’s coming from one person all the time; it’s not a give and take situation anymore.
If you’re always capable of ‘bailing’ your partner out when a need arises – he/she should also be capable of being a shoulder to lean on when a situation arises. When you’re always the one with the listening ear but never gets a listening ear when you need it, it may be time to do an evaluation.
‘Stupid’ people (that is how people who deliberately feed off others think) wise up. When eventually, the host notices the parasite has been slowly draining them dry, they lose the early fascination that once distorted their perception of their partner.
The unevenness of give and take eventually ends in the refusal of the host to support the parasite any longer, they go into survival mode, and threaten with anger and betrayal (blame game/accountability) if you don’t continue to support them with your life’s blood. Some just shrug their shoulders and stay there because they’ve invested too many resources, time and emotions but they forget that until they kill the mosquito or put prevention measures into place, they’re still very vulnerable.
When you decide to break free from a parasitic partner, it is a good time to take personal inventory. If you find yourself attracting parasites, you may want to look at yourself and see why you keep becoming infected; maybe the foundation on which you start off a relationship turns a partner into a parasite. It is a lesson to be learned, but not a reason to swear off any future relationships that provide a strong, loving union that you will appreciate more in the long run….