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Finding the ‘Right’ Person At The Wrong Time – To Let Go Or Make the Time Right?

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A friend (reluctantly) walked out of a 2 year relationship due to ‘bad timing’. After a year of dating, she moved in with the guy. When the issue of ‘when are we getting married’ cropped up, the illegal husband (oh yeah, he’s an illegal husband) said the time is not right for him even though she is the sort of woman he would like to marry. So, if I am to believe his excuse, it was a matter of getting the right person at the wrong time!

Relationships are no doubt beautiful and enjoyable, but when it gets to the complex discussion of taking it to the altar – it suddenly becomes a mystery and a puzzle.

In a hasty conclusion, I would have said Mr Man is/was trying to run or is actually out already (oh yes, you can be with someone who has long left the relationship – except they are there only in flesh). But If I should put my ‘over-thinking’ and ‘over-analysing’ cap on, situations like these do happen; you find the right person you would love to spend your time with but either they came at the wrong time (where you’re not ready for any serious commitment due to certain factors and they are) or you find them when you’ve pledged allegiance to someone who doesn’t come anywhere close to what you seek in a partner but somehow ‘stuck’ yourself there.

When relationships break down, it is because one person wanted something different. Sometimes (most of the time) you cannot hold it against them. As I told my friend, either she waits for his time or starts all over again – you cannot force something to work or force someone to do something against their wish. They may do it to please or appease you, but few months down the line; you’re on your own!

To some, the ‘wrong timing’ maybe due to finances, emotionally unavailable, not ready mentally, the need to ‘make it’ as well as schooling. To others, the time is/may be right but the person is ‘wrong’. One thing is for sure; you can never make the ‘wrong’ person right – they have to be right, not you making them right (as to change them) but you can make a time right especially if you’re emotionally ready and prepared to take every day as it comes. I’ve seen guys who had come out of relationships and within a year or less, had walked down the aisle and are still living happily because according to them, when you meet someone and there’s something different about them, you know you have a future with the person and it doesn’t take forever to know.

Sometimes, there are some people we let go and we never meet that type again (ever) – he/she may be the sort of person we tick as ‘right’ or ‘good’ in our books, their character, charisma et al. When we take the ‘he/she didn’t come at the right time’ route and let them go – we miss a lifetime opportunity.

Some can argue that one should try to hold on to the right person even if the time is not right and make the time right – but the question is what if you want to make the time right and you’re not financially, emotionally and mentally prepared or you’re with someone and ‘hoping’ to let that relationship die and come grab the right one (ha-ha) – do you let go or do you make the time right?



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6 thoughts on “Finding the ‘Right’ Person At The Wrong Time – To Let Go Or Make the Time Right?”

  1. This is funny but true. Most Ghanaians girls will prefer opening
    their less to working hard and sweating for the cash. Legon girls in particular
    have a thing for sugar daddies who can qualify as their grandfathers

    Reply
  2. Hmmmm..First of all, I don’t think you told your friend the truth….How can someone already enjoying ‘husband things’ not be ready for marriage, they live together anyway, so in short, the man doesn’t want to pay for the milk whilst the cow is at his disposal. To let go or make the time right? – i’ll make the time right because when you’re sure you are with the right person, right things fall in place – pledging alliagiance to someone doesn’t mean you can’t leave if a better one comes along.
    my 2cents

    Reply
    • Thank you for that very comment. ..I don’t see why guys/women will keep staying with each other when they feel the person is not right for them….just walk away the moment you find out they aren’t the one. …but nooo some will just stick around. …chop chop and then leave later. ..also it’s true that love or settling down should be forced….I’ve come across people who only got married or moved in with a woman just yo please the person. …Some have worked out and others are living a miserable marriage life….I think in all we should be genuine to one another…..If you don’t like leave…

      Reply
  3. The 2cents even thank you to the billionaires whose riches can’t even fetch them joy…some gart wealth others gart riches. Two great difference. Just saying money can’t buy everything including love.

    Reply

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