Dear Chris-Vincent,
As a woman who grew up in Ghana before moving to the United States, one thing I have always known and be told is not to go near the husband of another woman. Personally, I think a woman can sleep with whoever she pleases if her conscience does not pull the guilty plug on her but when it comes to someone’s husband, that is a big NO.
I am writing this in response to the on going debate on your blog-GhanaCelebrities.Com about whether it was right or wrong that Janet Bandu was messing with Castro, knowing he was the husband of another woman living in Canada.
I have always told my friends that, women are our own enemies and things men will not do to themselves or their friends, we will do it to other women without thinking twice.
I do not have to be really worried about my husband’s friends hitting on me because men seems to have this rule that, they should not mess with the wife of another especially if the woman is their friend’s wife or someone they know.
But I cannot say the same for women. I cannot leave my husband with some of my friends (in fact almost all my friends) without having to have my eyes at my back. Women do not know of loyalty and the slightest mistake you will make, some will be sleeping with your man including your own friends or sisters. That is how bad things have become and it is getting worse with African women as the days go by.
It is therefore not shocking to me that some readers think it was not really a big deal that Janet Bandu was on a weekend trip with Castro and friends, knowing that Castro was married. She did not seem to care and so does some of the readers.
I have heard women say, one woman’s husband is another woman’s boyfriend which suggests that, it does matter if a man is married or not, you can have your share of him.
It is worse if the man is rich or famous, all manner of women who flock him and follow him all around, knowing for a fact that this man is married.
Why do we women do this to ourselves? It does not matter anymore that a man is married. That is a completely bullshyt to some women, they will go in there and get what they want.
This is exactly what most of our female celebrities are rumoured to be doing—sleeping with married men for money, uncaring about the consequence, the wives or the children if any.
Women seem to be living in this jungle of get what you want regardless of who is holding it. For those of us abroad, anytime your husband goes on holidays in Ghana, you will begin to have sleepless nights because hardly will these young girls say NO when they are asked, even if the man is wearing a ring, or must be seen as married.
I don’t think there is a debate here as to whether it is right to have an affair with a married man or not. It is totally unacceptable in the eyes of God and man. These desperate Ghanaian girls must stop this else the anger of God will follow them to their graves.
From: Leticia Serwaa/USA
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Why are the men never blamed though? Chris I thought you didn’t believe in Christianity? Is monogamy not a product of christianity. I know you did not write the article but I find it very interesting that some readers rubbish some of what these pastors are saying but embrace the fact that Janet committed a sin by being with a married man. Was polygamy not in the bible. I want to hear thoughts. No insults please.
But Chris did not write this article so what does his beliefs have to do with what someone wrote? lol asem oooo.
Where in the article did the writer talk about sin? I didnt see that so maybe you are talking about the arguments which have been going on under the janet article. Sin or not sin, what is the point following someone’s man?
I did say in my comment that I know Chris did not write the article. I am talking about all the arguments which seem to point to the nature of Janet actions as sin. I do not in any way agree with the idea of any one following someone’s man. My main peeve is with the fact that the men get away with it. I am married so will never support that especially because in my first marriage I was cheated on. I never blamed the other woman. In fact we both had children for this man two months apart and are very close now for the sake of our children. When things came to head I realised he was lying to us both. I only asked this question because many of the comments made by people seems very hypocritical.
You are one sensible woman. May God bless you my dear. When everyone was condemning Janet for going out with Castro, I remember saying that, what if Castro lied to her in order to get into her panties? And as we all know, women are easily deceived. Ghanaians are just hypocrites!
A man may lie to get in your pants but it’s your responsibility to find out more about him before opening your legs. Having said that, this Janet whatever’s case is soo yesterday……
You are right.
Rightly said, B.B. My husband was cheating on me with a mutual friend for two years. She claims she did not knw my husband was married although she knws me very well and is a regular visitor to the home I share with my husband. Looks like the girls of today are very bold and have no morals. Who is laughing at the end of the day? I have two kids with him. Do you think he was going to leave me for you? Girl, think again cos you’ve been used!
n who told u the gal wanted ur husband to leave u for her.am sorry but u as the wife is doing all the cleaning, washing n cooking for the man.mistresseslike me re taken to the trips n best restaurants in town.on top of it all i also enjoy his under as much i want.i ve received alot of benefits n pampering from my married boo since my uni Days till today(5yrs now).i never wanna switch places wit de so called wife…i am very ok here n i never want my boo to leave the wife cuz i ent want dat position
Thank you. I am happy someone agrees with my opinion. Those who don’t have a right to their’s.
How can castro lie to her when is clearly on the the net he was legally married? come on, even if he told her about him divorcing, she could have waited until whole process was over. In janet’s case she was very much aware of it. To most young girls in Ghana, following a married man now is no big deal to them. So don’t conclude what you don’t know. Is sad that she’s gone but fact still remains as it is.
The question is, will men ever stop cheating on their wives? Uncle King Solomon did well with thousand women. I don’t know about you.lol
Someone will think you are sensible to me you are not. You know why? this article is an article of it’s own and doesn’t relate to Janet’s issue so why raise this now? You just want people to insult the innocent girl again on this matter. The girl is dead and gone and GC has different news daily. I don’t see why you should raise Castro and Janets on this new article. You define the word Hypocrite. Sorry that your first husband cheated on you but next time again try not to go back with the past. Past article is gone so move to the next.
Thank you! Well said.
You welcome bb. Some people needs to be corrected.
I agree with you that there was no direct mention of Janet’s name in this article but like I said in my response to Chris that particular has raised the issue. I had no intention of bringing her name in for the purpose of been insulted. I read all the articles for the first time today and it seemed to follow a common theme. Sorry if I offended anyone especially Janet and her family
The funny thing is ur the one not being sensible here…actually this article Infact is related to janet’s issue. It’s not one of its own. Go back and read it, if u still have trouble understanding the grammar seek help. The writer Infact made a reference to Castro and janet affair. And Naomi in fact didn’t say anything negative about janet. One thing here is, u need to go back to that article. Read it again.
Am not talking about the article but Naomi’s comment. There was no need for her to bring the girl’s name. Indirectly she wanted to start something. I read the article very well before responding and she should accept her corrections.
I already responded to you above. I have no reason to indirectly want to bring Janet into this. Like I said I read all the articles on the issue today and as honey said the writer actually attributed her article to the issues raised in the Janet issue. However my apologies for giving the impression I was stirring up anything. Thanks
U keep mentioning about Naomi’s comment and Naomi bringing the girl’s name up…meanwhile it’s the article itself tackling on the “Castro janet affair”. Stop blaming Naomi and read the article again. Naomi didn’t bring the girl’s name up, it’s the writer. If anything the writer should be the one to blame on dwelling in the past. Anyway what’s with Ghanaians being gullible and stupid by the way? So with a.gyan’s account on what really happened, u guys still sit here and blame a dead girl over cheating allegations? Cm’ooon Ghanafuo show some sense a little oooh ton ton ton…that girl I’m sure had nothing to do with Castro until a tangible prove, I won’t buy the “rumored” affair.
i beg don’t even waste time responding to some people. from now on will not even responds to those i don’t agree with. Some hypocrites who keeps changing their words everyday with diff names. Ignore her for me please
Hmmm my sister, it’s haard outchea lol
“I am writing this in response to the on going debate on your blog-GhanaCelebrities.Com about whether it was right or wrong that Janet Bandu was messing with Castro, knowing he was the husband of another woman living in Canada.”…..this is what the writer wrote, Infact she clearly made it clear this is about the Castro janet affair
You don’t get it do you? no need to argue with you. Naomi was the one i corrected unless you want to tell me you are Naomi too
Of course u corrected Naomi but u need correction urself sweetheart. ..ur correction to Naomi doesn’t make sense and that’s what I’m explaining to u.
Thank you Honey.
yeahh you are right ! I don’t understand why she had to use Castro and Janet bandu as and example when there isnt even any evidence that the two had an affair ..
Am very sorry it ended up that way. Sometimes God surely knows best and it could be it was never meant to be. Now the good thing is he has blessed you with another so be grateful to him all the time.
I do not believe in Christianity or God or anything resembling a God but one thing is clear in this discussion, morality is morality. Even though people will argue that morality is subjective, there is some sort of morals which are far-reaching, some call it objective morality. Certain things are JUST bad and you don’t need to be a Christian or believe in God or anything to realize that they are bad.
A typical example is the rape of a child. We do not need God to tell us that raping a child is bad and we do not need religion (Christianity or otherwise to tell us this too). And no matter how deep you think morality is subjective, no one can come and out and say, raping a child is not bad under his or her own subjective morals.
The above shows that, certain things are just bad no matter where you think you get your rules or morals from. And one of such things I believe is having an affair with someone’s husband—messing with a ‘sacred’ union.
Some people will argue that it is bad to have an affair with a married person
because the bible says so, or God says so or morality says so or the law says so. The truth is, no matter which angle you make the jump from, some things in this world are just bad—no two ways about that!
Chris, you have written well and I agree with many things you have said. I do not agree with your idea of it being a moral argument though. You can not compare two grown adults( one who is supposedly in a ‘sacred’ relationship) having an affair to a young innocent child being raped by an adult. Morality is subjective yes but doesn’t the case for raping a child go beyond one of morality?
The Bible which a majority of Ghanaians quote has incidents of adultery, incest and you band it littered in the OLD testament. So…. We can go on and on. Lol
You are one male voice which I have heard condemn this but why aren’t the men who entered into these ‘sacred’ unions being condemned? Lol
I also heard that in the case of Castro, his current wife also ‘snatched’ him from his traditionally married wife (engaged)
I can go on and on but my point really is. Shouldn’t we stop being quick to judge. Ghanaians as a people are two judgemental and hypocritical
Are we talking about Castro and the girl or are we talking about affair with married men in general? I think we do not have enough information on Castro and the girl to place good arguments. But if it is about affair with married men or women in general, then—-there can be some good arguments.
Like I said, I do not think everyone determines what is wrong or right based on the bible or some religious teaching or even the law. Human beings by nature will be able to establish what is wrong or right on our own, without any of these interferences. Some Darwinians will say, human beings as animals will embrace certain traits that will keep them surviving—and I think that is where we naturally get what is wrong or right from.
To survive means, you must not go and steal the food of another animal. I used to watch national geographic society a lot and from that, lions stay off the catch of other lions…It is these inherent YOU CAN’T do this or that which has been borrowed or expanded by religion and molarity.
I do not believe in religion or God, but I know ‘inside me that’, chasing after someone’s husband or wife is unacceptable. Where do I get that from? It is inherent, same as the rape example…
The Castro and Janet alleged affair has made this a topical issue. However my main issue with the comments made generally are relating to the bigger issue of affairs.
I take your point but I disagree with the suggestion that what is considered unacceptable applies generally. Society and religious beliefs has a lot to do with this. There are still societies which embrace polygamy. In actual fact most African societies do. Lol
The analogy with rape also presents a problem to me. Lol
The problem is that women are more desperate than men and we will continue to fight one another for a portion of the cake. I also did not understand why people were supporting Janet and could not condemn her for following a married man around. A lot of women are doing the same so what did I expect?
Personal I have never seen any relatationship with a married person prosper before. The entire relationship is based on decite . Some people enjoy the whole drama
Some women have no shame. About two months ago, someone sent me a whatsapp video of a woman who was being stripped naked by her best friend for sleeping with her husband. From the video, one can conclude that the said mistress (who happens to be the bride’s best friend) was even at the wedding. Women like competition: a mistress will love to prove to the wife that she is better than her and can take away her man. Men are not into such unhealthy competition.
Leticia,the ring on the finger of our husbands means nothing to girls of today,they say we want the ring and they want the man.Try us I have my husband has not slept with me for like I don’t even know ,I asked he says he’s tired,but comes home around midnight everyday,travels a lot with short notice,I try Leticia to be a good mother,housekeeper and anything that is expected of me but still no improvement,I cry,oh yes I cry,but for the children I would have left a long time.but those who says they will not let us sleep they should remember karma is a bitch,what goes around comes around.
My dear will suggest you pray and let God come in. If possible do fast, me am not into these prophets like that all i do is to hold hands with my family n pray.
Juicenet,I have prayed,fasted changed my ways I don’t know what to do again,the sad part is I’m only 35 and always reminding myself how I can be living like this forever.dont know when all this will end,feeling sad always.
Nothing is too difficult for thee.. Don’t stop praying, God will fix it before you know. Sometimes is the work of the devil which requires a stronger prayers to break it. Keep praying hun.
I can see you are really bored. So text me n let’s talk.
Vic, I’ve been in your shoes and i know exactly how you feel. The end is almost near. My husband was having an affair for two years with someone we go to church with. Long story short, keep praying and find things to keep your mind from him. Travel, find a hobby and make yourself happy. Sooner than later, it will all come to an end. Pray for the Holy Spirit to set confusion in their camp. You’re young. find happiness in your kids. Fold your hands and watch the drama unfold. Believe me, Ive been there.
Kikie that girl must be a real witch who came to the church to destroy wow.. Damn the woman was possessed to date a married man. Sorry but at the end of the day he came back to ya.
Kikie and Juicenet,thank you so much you are true sisters.
so dat means u also sleep wit a married man so deal wit it.karm is à real bitch
Do men suddenly forget that they are married? Is the man not the one that stood before God and man and proclaimed his love and commitment to HIS wife? Are mistresses suddenly walking around with ball and chains and keeping married men hostage? We are living in a world where grown ass men are not being held responsible for their decisions. If it wasn’t Janet Bandu it would be someone else. Are you then going to run around chasing every woman in sight so that they don’t even sneeze on your husband or will you actually just deal with the one person who actually made a damn commitment to you?
Men will continue to do whatever the fck they want because they are never held to task. And women will continue to assuage their guilt and allow it. Smh.
Thank you!!! YOU have said it all. Better than I did! Thank you so much
My dear I’m in love with u, how often do u visit here?
Will agree with AkosuaGhana that, yes some women r more desperate than men, but as Naomi said sometimes the men also needs to be blamed.
Thank you Jeff
u welcome.
You have said it all my sister… Just come and see how our young ladies dress these days, so sad… Can’t blame the men ampa
Ama,these shameless girls are just shoving themselves unto our husbands,even in church they dress like sluts.
Hello guys i am new here, i have some very important points..(1) We may sometimes blame the men, cuz they have to know better, most especially when they are marriage
(2) Most of our ladies, marriage or single uses charms or rub some demonic ointment to make these men to fall in luv with them.
My advice to all the marry women, if u are weak in prayers change that habit..it is time to battle for your life, your children’s life and that of your hubby’s. Women now a days are dangerous they can do anything for money and without any regret..
Whoever wrote this article thumps up!! At least some people will learn something from it. As for the ladies the men will come daily but is up to you to investigate him, get to know him before you open the road to him. Now the ladies don’t even care about the rings. All the think about is the money the man will give them. When a married woman release a curse on you trust me it will work like magic. I know of some girls who don’t even care about it but unfortunately one had an autistic child due to her past curse she had from her ex’s wife. Her hubby left her because of that. so ladies please stay off married men and find yours. I believe when you go on your knees and ask God for a husband he will give it. Leticia thank you for this wonderful article
Good article. But I think its about time we married women hold our husbands responsible for cheating. More often than not its the men that allow it.
I disagree with those saying that the men should be blamed. In my opinion, the mistresses allow it.
When people join as couples: compromise is the other of the day because people have different expectations.There is a missing item in every relationship. In happiness, couples push that missing item from their conscious mind. When the arguments begin, that item is brought back to the conscious mind (especially the men). During that moment, when the missing item is detected in another woman, a man becomes curious. He will try his best to have a feel of what he is missing. When he gets the opportunity, he is going to CHEAT! This is where the mistress gets the blame, because without that opportunity: men will just have to go back home with that curiosity, make up with the wife and push it from the conscious mind again.
A curious mind cares less about “vows”. The marital status of a man is not strong enough to resist the temptation of a wicked mistress who will give him the opportunity. MEN ARE HELPLESS, they are weaker than they appear to be. If avoiding a temptation is so easy, there would be nothing like ‘sin’. The only way out is to remove the temptations. The curiousity drive of a man cannot be easily controlled (not even by the man himself): however, the opportunity can be easily handled (the mistress can easily refuse). In a nutshell, cheating can only stop if the mistress can reason a little bit.
some men lie abt being married. À lady i know got married to à guy here in england last year. they ve a child now.guess wat ?the guy is already married wit 2 kids. This lady was honestly lied to.how can she be blamed
Spells?? Hmmm… my dear, commit it to prayer. There is nothing too hard for God to do. It may seem like its taking long but dont worry it wl surely come to pass. Cos in this case what happens if the lady goes some places else and the spell is reversed? All good and perfect gifts come from God.
God bless you. Every spell has an expiring date paaaaa. No joke . N then guilty will start to harvest their evil fruits. Judgment awaits. Chai!
Never ever decide to date another woman’s Husby bcz it’s not right!!!