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BrutallyUncensored.Com: Being with One Partner is NOT Innate | Cheating is Therefore Natural

WHY DID I GET MARRIED TOO?

 

My current relationship lasting a bit over three years is the longest one I’ve been in by far. My first and supposedly true love who assured me of her eternal love for me with corny recycled text messages that at the time made me incredibly smite and go red in my black cheeks didn’t last six months.

And we were barely eighteen. A couple more reality inducing, jarring, brief flings disguised as relationships, and then i met KAF who’s getting married next month to a man who’s not me. My current relationship overlaps that with KAF slightly.

The current relationship may or may not have ended last night. Or more likely three months ago when I bedded an incredibly attractive close friend and admitted to it. With this background I may appear not too credible a contributor to the topic Monogamy. However, my experiences I believe put me in a good stead to speak on this contentious issue. Is `Mongamy feasible? Is it natural? Is there one person destined to be coupled with you forever?

No. Well according to common sense and logic. Marrying for love as we know it now only began in the 18th century. Prior to that marriage was primarily to form business ties, secure already existing family worth, expand family networks or even pay family debts, writes Rainier-Mackie Plahar on BrutallyUncensored.Com.

Indeed back then a man was better respected and admired if he had multiple women. Montaigne the renowned essayist said in the 16th “any man in love with his wife was a man so dull no one else could love him”. This best reflects the values and standards of the time.

Monogamy is a social construct that aims at organizing our sex lives and furthermore  provide a stable environment for the raising of children, but also (and this is often overlooked), that by pairing up couple for life, it does a good job in alleviating the jealousy and mayhem which would ensue from a sexual free-for-all.

Countless examples in our everyday lives alone is enough proof that jealousy and mayhem is rife in monogamous relationships. This is because it takes a superhuman level of discipline and commitment for monogamy to work to achieve the aims for which it was constructed.

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Accra Metropolitan Assembly’s Exercise Showing Defective Reactionary Nature of Ghanaian Public Officials

Dynasty Chinese at Osu, Accra
Dynasty Chinese at Osu, Accra

The Accra Metropolitan Assembly has been on the warpath in recent times, forced to make a grandstand due to the cholera outbreak that has swept through the capital and most parts of the country.

One of the recent initiatives meant to battle the outbreak is a surprise inspection of food vendors within the metropolis, an initiative that has so far yielded some disgusting results; proving that we are not as safe as we would like to feel within our own capital.

What bugs me is that this is a problem we are all too familiar with. We go through our lives doing the minimum possible we can get away with, waiting for the inevitable outbreak of a disaster to force us to do what we should have been doing all along.

That is what the AMA has been doing with this recent clampdown on food vendors. The surprise inspection has spanned chop bars, restaurants, and is meant to tackle wayside vendors as well.

Aside the fact that these routine checks should be the status quo and not a panic measure when an epidemic sweeps over the country, the results gleaned so far should put the fear of God in any Ghanaian who patronises any food establishment outside their own homes.

You might say it’s not any surprise, Accra after all is engulfed in filth wherever you look, and people sell adjacent to gutters without any scruples. But whilst you would expect this kind of tactics from small time food vendors and the chop bars, the fact that restaurants, some of whom have huge reputations have fallen foul of the standards is a frightening thought.

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At What Point Does Faith Become Folly? | South African Congregation Drink Petrol Because Pastor Claims to Have Turned it Into Pineapple Juice

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3rNONj1A_w

I often marvel at the tenacity of Ghanaians when it comes to matters of faith, and for the absurd levels we are willing to take our belief in a supreme being. We place too much trust in our men of God, we interpret everything through the lens of religion and superstition, and we are willing to do anything so long as we are sure it enhances our chances of one day ending up in heaven.

It’s a problematic mindset that as much as we hate to admit, remains at the root of most of our ills as a society. We often place too much trust in faith to the detriment of hard work and innovation, whilst we spend fortunes keeping pastors rich whilst we remain in our lives of dilapidation.

South African pastor Lesego Daniel, of the Rabioni Centre Ministries, made his congregation drink petrol because he claimed to have changed it to pineapple juice. It was an exercise modelled on when Jesus turned water into wine (See the video above).

Blind faith as demonstrated by this South African congregation is very worrying. When people slip into mindsets like this, they can be asked to do anything and they would so long as they believe it is in the name of their religion.

I am sure we can all see what problems such a mentality would breed. Blind obedience to a person or deity breeds fanaticism, and fanaticism breeds far worse problems we should all be familiar with.

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So I Married a Nigerian + My Experience So Far…

black woman

 

This piece is based on my own personal experiences so there tends to be some generalization.

Hi everybody, I am a Ghanaian lady who got married this year to a handsome, sweet and God-fearing Nigerian man. A number of people asked me if all the men in Ghana were taken but chale one cannot fight God’s will. I would not trade my husband for anything or anybody. I must say that Nigerian men are very confident and seem to be trained to take on responsibility at an early age (this is not saying Ghanaian men aren’t). They stand tall with confidence and are not fazed by hard and trying times. There seems to be a deep rooted belief that ‘one day one day’ all will be well.

I was quite surprised that my dad, who normally goes on and on with respect to his opinions, did not object to me marrying a Naija man. His first statement was “I hope you are not being pressurized to marry?” My dad and I are not really close but I loved him for that question. There I was thinking I was going to have to recruit my mom to fight this love war for me. I happily replied, “No.” He went on to ask the usual questions a father would ask and then he made another powerful statement, ” I really don’t mind if my children marry non-Ghanaians, the two most important things are the person should be honest and have a good temper”.

Wow, I was shocked that was all that mattered to him. I know my mom had already said that none of her children should marry non-believers but I was confused regards my dad’s words. I always thought he would be a bit tribalistic and worry about social status etc. His words made me realise that he may be more down to earth than he appeared. He had highlighted a fact that some women ignore. Yes, honesty and temperament does come to mind but not before looks, finances, job security and status to name a few.

Oh, so lest I forget, he also gave me examples of many Ghana-Nigerian relationships that have been successful and his one advice to me was to think of myself as a Nigerian when I relocate. It dawned on me that as humans, we react based on our experiences and beliefs as well as evidence of certain circumstances. My dad believed, tribe wasn’t an issue but rather the principles one guided his life with. His observation of successful inter-country marriages had also made him more open to the news I shared with him. All I can say is Thank God.

The pre-wedding period was not void of calamity but by Gods grace the wedding was a success. Did I mention that my maid-of-honour and I had promised to ‘whoop’ my husband and his best man on the dance floor (knowing that my husband was a total klutz at dancing). Eiiii, we received the surprise of a lifetime. My husband and I still argue about the fact that he deceived me into thinking he couldn’t dance to save his life. Naija really dealt with Ghana that day. But I give God the glory because my desire for him went a notch higher if you know what I mean.

Anyway fast forward to me relocating to Nigeria after the wedding. 

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