Reading this breaking story of KKD’s arrest for alleged rape just threw me off. Rape has and always will be a complex situation that is sometimes hard to dissect.
According to the Criminal Code, rape is defined as se*ual intercourse without consent (this includes anal intercourse), penetration of a persons vulva, vagina or an*s to any extent with penetration to any extent of a person by a penis without their consent.
Then again, what is se*ual intercourse? It is defined as se*ual contact between individuals involving penetration, especially the insertion of a man’s erect pen*s into a woman’s vag*na, typically culminating in orga*m and the ejac*lation of semen. This definition rectified my initial thought that s*xual intercourse includes all preliminary stuff including flirtations, cuddling, kissing and fondling all leading up to actual penetration.
At this point I will take you on a journey a few years back when my friend was the same age as this young lady accusing KKD of rape.
Partying late one night with friends, she was approached by this cute but goofy looking guy who looked to be in his 30’s. “You are so adorable”, he said, and as patronizing as that sounded she did give him her number. Why? It’s simple. My friend craved attention and it seemed like he could give her an overdose of it.
And I guessed right. This man (later found out he was 40) spoilt her rotten to the extent that even I was considering having a side fling with him. He had made his intentions clear to her from day one that he wanted to have a relationship with her and just like any other relationship she knew s*x would be a factor. The odd thing was, he never pestered her for s*x but I am guessing he was patiently nurturing her for that as she had previously expressed fears about the act.
The day finally came when he felt it was time for s*x and with much coercion my dear friend gave in. According to her, she had enjoyed the fondling and foreplay, but truly did not want actual penetration and she did make her feelings known.
So based on all this information, did I feel my friend was raped? I sure did. Did I feel her boyfriend raped her? Yes, but there is something else. I also felt that even though she did not want to have s*x, she had contributed to the whole situation and had a big part to play in it. Let me explain.
She gave her phone number to a guy who thought she was adorable. What did she think he wanted? In this case he made it known- a relationship. What did that involve? She was smart enough to know that a relationship wasn’t just about her always receiving gifts and attention and them chatting but also involved physical acts.
Did she enjoy the kissing and fondling? She sure did. She had the fear of penetration but she also knew it was bound to happen. At this point she could have backed out or not put myself in compromising situations such as going home with him or spending nights in hotel rooms or even just kissing and fondling in the car.
I mean, what did she expect? Was she abducted? Absolutely not. And that is why, my dear readers, I felt she was an accomplice in this act of rape and it would not have been entirely true if she had accused him of rape.
Growing up and acquiring knowledge of what the law says, I am beginning to doubt my initial stand of her playing a part. Her boyfriend inserted his er*ct pen*s into her vag*na which resulted in ejac*lation of semen against her will. As to whether she led him on, led herself on or was being naive has nothing to do with the fact that she was raped. But then again, how does one come to the conclusion that it was truly against her will? Very confusing…
My next question is, how does one come to establish the fact that the act was done against one’s will especially in a case where the alleged culprit and victim are not total strangers and no physical force seems to have been applied? Would we still say consent was not given?
Ghana’s Criminal Offences Act, 1960 (Act 29) provides circumstances under which consent is void and a few of such include consent obtained by means of deceit or duress, consent given by reason of a fundamental mistake of fact, and consent given under the exercise of any authority for purposes other than what is allowed by the law (power unduly exercised). Can we come to any conclusions now?
Side note – many of us, both men and women, do not even fully understand what rape means. To a man, unless a woman exerts physical strength in saying no, he sees it as she is just being ‘long’ or not trying to appear ‘cheap’.
To the woman, who is more of an emotional being, a no means no though it could change to a yes in the next second. A woman could also physically succumb to se*ual intercourse with a man after saying no but emotionally be screaming “nooooo, why are you doing this to me, please stop” and the man would ignore this and just go on with the business at hand. It is a very complex situation really.
Back to KKD’s case.We await the remaining details of what actually transpired and I leave you to judge. Hopefully, justice will be served.a thing (for example, an object, like a stick or bottle) or any body part (eg. a finger) and oral
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