When you tell people ‘me first’, they think/feel you’re selfish. People throw the selfish word anytime things don’t go their way and these same people invented ‘me, myself and I’ (very selfish).

Selfish people are very difficult to deal with. All your time, love and resources should be channelled to them leaving YOU out of the equation. In every situation, you have to take care of YOU. Putting you first is not being selfish. If you don’t learn how to treat you with love, care, trust, and respect, you can’t treat others the same.

Loving yourself first and foremost, taking care of your emotional and physical wellbeing isn’t being self-centred – it’s very healthy.

Taking care of yourself first is not selfishness – it’s seeking out your interest first and foremost before any other thing/person. Being a people pleaser does not make us selfless; it’s a ‘selling pursuit’ with an expectation of getting something in return.

There are people out there who do things for others and help, and it’s not actually because they put everyone above them but because they remember that they have to take care of themselves and know their limits so that they can actually help others to the best of their ability.

There’s pleasure (from my point of view) in helping, being kind and generous to others but when they feel entitled to think a ‘helper’ is obligated to do something or ‘that thing’ for them – that’s where and when it becomes a problem.

We can’t burden ourselves with false obligations by limiting ourselves because a selfish person who ‘feels entitled to our compliance’ will accuse us of selfishness and insensitive. Nobody owes you anything neither do you so whatever privilege/s you get from someone is given/done out of love and not entitlement or duty.

Rapacious people are very quick to call others selfish. They give the ‘that’s who I am so accept me’ but expect others to‘re-organise’ their habit, attitude and ideologies to suit them. You can’t suppress your own feelings, opinions, needs and desires to take ownership of other people’s feelings.

People who always operate on ‘what will people say if….’ are sometimes too considerate for their own good in the sense that they worry excessively about other people’s feelings and behaviour when they decide to make major changes in their life. They then have to ‘make do’ with being unhappy and stick to things/people which make them unhappy.

I’ve also learned that people will do to you exactly what you allow them to do. If they want to ‘tune’ you into letting go of you by playing the ‘selfish’ card, they’ll forever do it because you’ve given them the power to do as they please.

Can you help someone if you put yourself in danger? You can consider others and/while considering you too. You can care about you as well as caring for others. Focus purely on considering others and you’ll end up doing things for the wrong reasons and you’ll soon file for emotional/financial bankruptcy!