Asamoah Gyan Is An Equal Opportunity F**KER | And He Actually Rocked the Bum?

4 min


Asamoah Gyan
Asamoah Gyan

Ghanaian football star-Asamoah Gyan has been trending for the past 24 hours and beyond the sudden rape allegation, many people seem shocked with his choice of woman, a 22-year old nobody—perhaps, a broke girl too.

GhanaCelebrities.Com‘s reader commenting on the issue stated that ‘Asamoah Gyan is an equal opportunity f**ker…He does not discriminate when it comes to coochies.’ And to be honest, I agree with this—because, what else would have stopped Asamoah Gyan from taking off the Victoria Secret dross of someone like his former girlfriend-Sandra Ankobiah or one of our many desperate celebrities ready to f**k anything with the word ‘MONEY’ around it?

Perhaps, we need to commend Asamoah Gyan for his equality principles and the fact that, in his estimation, “all cum be cum”, irrespective of the coochie which made that happen. I can see comedian/musician-Aplus and a few others championing this idea.

On a serious note, Asamoah Gyan wanted to be smart—in the sense that, he may have wanted to avoid all those gold-diggers who would have jumped on him because of his money and status. But he ended up falling in the hole of an amateur dirty galamsey miner…

Of course Sarah Akwabla is making ridiculous demands—a neatly furnished apartment, a housemaid and a monthly stipend of $1,000 for postnatal care seem much for such a low catch, who probably has never held $1,000 cash in her life before.

Yet, this was a smart bargain by Asamoah Gyan, the equal opportunity f**ker, imagine it was someone like Yvonne Nelson or Sandra Ankobiah who got pregnant for Asamoah Gyan. Any of such kind of girls would have listed a Yacht and a weekly round trip to Dubai as part of their postnatal necessities.

So even though things seem screwed for BabyJet who honestly believes African Girls are s*xy like cheese, his intention and move were deeply smart. Then again, you wouldn’t easily get the cheese scent as the hovering aroma when you are knocking it from behind if you don’t go straight into the gutters.

Forget those women who want to be f**ked in MovenPick Hotel and go for those who have only 2 sets of panties they wear on a shift pattern—that is where you would smell the s*xy cheese and in fact, have the opportunity to be part of the world of a rising young freak.

Having watched that video alleged to be Sarah Akwabla (the so called s*x t*ape with Asamoah Gyan), I can confidently say it was not really a bad bargain for the Black Stars’ captain, perhaps, he should be in charge of negotiations when it comes to our national team—he has the eye for cheap products which are inherently capable of delivering a competing service just like the big shots.

We all love bargains, don’t we? Let’s just hope it’s not a fetish or some sort of Asamoah Gyan sickness…

Another shocking but interesting development in relation to this Asamoah Gyan and Sarah Akwabla epic s*x scandal is the allegation of RAPE, centred around the fact that Sarah claims she only granted Asamoah Gyan the permission to rock her coochie—but homeboy decided to forcibly take charge of her bumbum as his ultimate dessert.  This she says was out of the arrangement and therefore amounts to rape.

Legally,  Sarah Akwabla has a case—s*xual trespass is a damn rape but let’s not get into the legal arguments. We saw how far KKD’s case went but eventually, it was dropped.

For me, my interest lies in the fact that, this young woman claims Asamoah Gyan loves to chop TRUMU (Bum). I wouldn’t say this is intrinsically problematic but considering Ghanaians and their detest for new things, especially when they find these things morally, culturally and religiously ‘sacrilegious’—Asamoah Gyan must be one hell of a liberal man.

So as it stands, this whole saga has taught us some new and important things about Asamoah Gyan, the richest footballer in Ghana. He is an equal opportunity f**ker—he doesn’t discriminate when it comes to the p*ssy and he seems to love great bargains in that department.

Also, he is allegedly one hell of a liberal trumuf**ker;  either a slippery gel must have been used or the girl has had that corner exploited in the past. And it could also be that, Asamoah Gyan is pretty tiny so none of the above was necessary…

Whatever it is, we should all learn to go for the bargains—even Asamoah Gyan shops that way!

This man boldly kicked a penalty off the goal poles when the whole country needed it to score—Sarah Akwabla must be insane to think he cares and sticks to fair play.

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Chris-Vincent Agyapong Febiri, Founding Editor
Chris-Vincent Agyapong Febiri is the Founding Editor of GhanaCelebrities.Com , a Film Critic and a Human Rights Advocate; he holds 2 masters degrees in Law; International Human Rights Law (LL.M) and Legal Practice Course (LL.M) from University of Leicester and Nottingham Law School--and also a degree in Law (LL.B) from University of East London. He's a Professional Truth Sayer and he is the author of the popular eBook “Success is a Right, Not A Privilege.” He currently works at Fortwell Solicitors in London--where he uses his legal brains to kick real ass, for the good of clients and humanity. Contact: Vincent@topvincent.com

23 Comments

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  1. Thought the girl who’s pictures are being used by media houses came out to say it was not her and she would sue anyone framing her for this ..swear it’s the whole manti teo scam again

  2. Asamoah Gyan trumu tu. I tot Ghanaians hate those who chop people’s trumu so why don’t they cut Asamoah’s head? Oh they just dont like it when a man does it to another man but they accept it when a man does it to a woman

  3. So there is no June-July without an Asamoah Gyan saga.. 2010= PENALTY, 2012=RETIREMENT, 2013= DEATH OF MUM, 2014= CASTRO, 2015= SEX TAPE… hmmmm

  4. Chris
    This girl is not to be believed. She’s grasping at straws now. The charges have become too outlandish to be considered seriously. From the timeline, to her refusal to submit to a paternity test. Someone is out to get Asamoah Gyan. Perhaps the ambulance chasing lawyer. The unfortunate thing is that after all her lies have been dismissed, there is nothing Asamoah Gyan can do to her. In a perfect world after he’s exonerated, he’ll sue the bejesus out of her. But she’s got nothing so it wont even be worth it. Perhaps he should go after his lawyer. That douchebag called Ampaw and sue the hell out of him. And make sure he never practises again.

    1. Hon. Its rather unfortunate this girl got nothing to be sued but further revelations says someone’s picture is been used as Sarah Kwabla. This is kinda scam to me.

  5. Considering the source, the anal s*x charge is just thrown in to buttress her rape charge. I doubt it that she’s ever had anal with asamoah gyan. How many ghanaian straight men do anal? This b*tch is reaching. She’s throwing everything in, including the proverbial kitchen sink. Truth is Asamoah Gyan, a straight football player with money will f*ck a low cost girl. But will not stoop as low as to have anal s*x with her. Why? Anal s*x is a different kind of freaky stuff. And I doubt that Ghanaian men will do that. With the exception of gay men, not that many straight Ghanaian men will intentionally take that route when the coochie is available.

    1. people like you make me wana vomit. who told you asamoah gyan will not have an*l s*x. do you know how many Ghanaian men love to f**ck ladies a$$ asamoah gyan is number one I know what am saying. and stop insulting this girl for Christ sake. asamoah gyan needs to zip his pants and stop being cheap. he cant affor big women . besides the girl has come out saying she has never met him in person stop being judgemental and mind your own business. if u know asamoah gyan too well then I suggest you advice him please.

      1. why are you so aggressive? what he said is true this girl is a big lier if she know everything is true why did she refused to go for a paternity test???she is a Gold digger that is all

      2. Mind my own business? So says the retarded b*tch that replied to my comment. Look b*tch, you don’t know anything. Stop pretending. Where is your proof? Did he f*ck you anally? Typical ignorant Ghanaian b*tch using rumours and innuendoes as facts. You are retarded. Stop pretending to know anything. You dont. Also get a dictionary and look up the word judgemental and heed your own words. Obviously you don’t know the meaning of it. If you do then you are a f*cking hypocrite. Now shut the f*ck and move on. There is nothing to see here. Asamoah Gyan should stop being cheap and zip his pants? Why? Is that any of your f*cking business? Why don’t you mind you f*cking business?

        1. Yes he f**cked me anally hence why I am very sure of what I said. Are you satisfied now you look like a fool? or should I send you pictures. ignorant fool.

      3. Ghanaians can lie with certitude. Asamoah Gyan is number one an*l slicker? Lets dissect this lie from this b*tch. First of all when was the an*l slicker awards held in Ghana? When did Asamoah Gyan win such award to be come number one? This is pure nonsense from a retarded b*tch who thinks innuendo and rumours are facts. Listen Maame, you are talking from your an*l cavity of which I am not surprise. Over time your brain has moved from your head into you a$$ like a hemorrhoid. It explains the insidious post you wrote. How is Asamoah Gyan’s peccadilloes your business? Why should he stop being cheap? Do you by any chance contribute to his coffers? And why should he zip up? Is he married to you? This is incredibly stupid sh*t coming from a useless tramp who doesn’t know the meaning of judgemental. Heed your own advise and stop meddling in other peoples postings. Go ahead vomit. But do so because your head is full of sh*t and not because of me. Now STFU!!! How’s that?

        1. Hahahahhahahh you are sick n needs asamoah gyan to f**k your a$$ to feel better. Go to hell for all I Care. Asamoah Gyan is disgusting eeeeewwww anal man hahahahhahahh my friend get a life wai #Gari Don Pass water# I don’t blame you. Asamoah messenger Lmao ? ? ? ? ?.

  6. loool you sound like Asamoah Gyan.
    Asamoah is this you ?
    you have too much time oooo.
    then again you’re know to cheapen yourself so I’m not surprised by the language used and the way you conduct your self.

  7. Nope. Asamoah Gyan will not touch you. You are too disgusting to be f*ked anywhere. Not even in the mouth. When your breath smells like your fart it is time to shut the hell up b*tch.

  8. You are afflicted with stupidity and halitosis. The latter is because there is a rot in your head you refuse to notice. Anyone who comes on a public blog and tell a bold face lie is sick in the head. You don’t know asamoah gyan much more than any of us and yet you claim he f*cked you in the ass. Do you want us to believe this or you don’t know how stupid and idiotic you sound?
    Going by your example, I can say anything about your father or mother without ever knowing them. Syphilitic parents perhaps?
    Get a life? I have one. And better one at that. The reason I hate your kind is because of the damage your sort of thinking has and continues to do to the nation. Lies have destroyed the country. It has rendered Ghanaians stupid and incapable of using their brains. Be it at church, work or in the governance of the country, Ghanaians will reach out for a lie than the truth. Because the truth requires some amount of thinking while lies are easily manufactured. I don’t claim to know asamoah gyan unlike you. But innuendoes and rumours can never be the substitute for the truth. Try that and stop being a tampon for a rumours and gossip for change.
    I don’t know what #gari Don Pass Water# means but is sound like something an illiterate will say. Which is exactly why it is coming from you.

  9. Why some grown people who have been in the classrooms and claim to be educated can’t debate in a public forum without using profanities? Is it because they are lack of better words to argue or is it their nature to use profanities and disrespect others?
    Is it part of their orientation.

    As expected, more and more people will defend Asamoah Gyan because in Africa, celebrities are mini gods who don’t do any wrong. Gyan himself has not denied that he used this poor girl, but his worshippers are coming to his defense. Gyan is like any other man and he is not extraordinary. People like Gyan do worst things than the common man because they know that their celebrity status will cover them. He has been using poor innocent girls like that before and that is not his first. The reasons why the other girls didn’t come out is exactly what some people are doing here, denouncing the poor girl and calling her a liar. There are many of those so-called celebrities in Africa who take advantage of innocent children and their puppets defend them. The weak press also worship them because they lick their behinds for pennies they give them. Gyan knows very well that he will grab a girl in England or America and use her like that against her will. He will go to jail. He knows that very well. They run back home Among their blind loyalist to do such evil.

    1. God bless you for this at least someone is saying something that makes sense. Asamoah Gyan is an a$$hole and need to be discipline very well. These ppl keep taking advantage of these girls who has no name or nothing. Very bad to think of doing them in their a$$es disgusting man.

    2. So in your living room you have concluded that asamoah gyan raped someone without a shred of evidence? Wow, you are an everyday Einstein. This is why I have no respect for Ghanaians. They believe in shadows, rumours and lies. All you need to convince a Ghanaian is yell and pop your eyes out like someone kick you in the groin. A cesspool of lies and corrupt minds who will believe anything evil about someone. It’s a shame it has led to the country we see today.