My cousin turned 35 a couple of weeks ago and turned up large but her parents didn’t think she had a cause to celebrate because apparently she’s 35 and unmarried.
I couldn’t think far on this because even though she’s not married, she’s by far one of the most successful people I know. This my cousin is an aeronautics engineer and a very brilliant one. She’s my mentor and greatly influenced my chosen career now but all her achievements are naught because is still single at 35. This situation got me thinking and the more I did, the angrier I became.
Nothing annoys me most than when she’s in town and we bump into family friends, a glimpse at her finger and they ask the ultimate question, “when is your wedding” or “won’t you marry? You’re not getting any younger.
It doesn’t matter that she’s successful enough in her chosen field and has travelled to many countries of the world for work and she is the best in her field.
I guess these things matter to me alone. Sure there’s nothing wrong with getting married and settling down with the love of your life to raise your little ones.
But should it happen that you don’t get married at the stipulated time of society, does that mean that your achievements in other parts of life do not matter? Does a woman need a man to validate her life before she is fully accepted?
Most women are settling for men who do not deserve a quarter of the calibre of person they are just because they need to be validated by the “ring”. If I need a man to validate my existence as a woman, why do I bother myself with a lot of education and a career? I might as well forget all these things and go in pursuit of a man.
Growing up in Africa and Ghana, we are prepared for marriage and we are brought up as wives. Interestingly enough, no one bothers to raise husbands for us. I wonder who they were expecting us to marry.
No wonder a lot of men think they are doing us a favour by getting us hitched. *True though*
I can’t begin to fathom the stress and emotional trauma my cousin and all other ladies who find themselves in this situation go through. Every other achievement or accomplishment is mitigated by the simple fact that she’s single at 35, nothing else matters.
What happened to self love and brightening the corner where we are? No wonder my granny told me not to come home with just a certificate but rather be looking through as she puts it.
Anyway, I spent four years on university campus and came back empty handed so I’m still looking for one to validate my existence as a woman. For now I’m looking for a validator for my cousin and then me.
All the same I’m super proud of her and all other women out there who are making it big. *coded location* *wink*