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Love & Relationship

…ALWAYS Start As You Mean to Continue

Worried Black woman
Worried Black woman

We do bend backwards for people once in a while but bending impossibly backwards to accommodate the idiosyncrasies of some people all in a bid to be accepted is not a very wise move. When we buy our way into people’s lives by showering them with presents (which we cannot even afford), making ridiculous promises (which may not sound ridiculous to the person being lied to) – when we can’t keep up with façade anymore, we become that mean person – because we stopped being good.

Where is the sense in being a ‘yes man/woman’ just to be called ‘nice’? People only define others ‘nice’ for what they do for them and what they get out of them. Sometimes we can’t afford to be ‘the good/nice guy or girl’ who’s ever ready to drop all he/she is doing to save a soul – we all have our off/bad/good days and the day you’re in one of these moods will definitely not guarantee a yes from you (if you’re being truthful). If we’re being honest to ourselves, we’re never happy saying ‘yes ‘when ‘no’ is rather convenient for us.

Before setting some precedents, it’s advisable to ask ourselves why we’re doing/taking those actions and also if we’re being fair to ourselves (by playing superman/woman) when in actual fact we don’t want to? The potential in-laws, the woman/man we’re trying so hard for them to notice us, the business partner we want to impress that we’re trustworthy and reliable – are we setting some dangerous precedents we can’t cope or keep up along the way?

We have to examine and re-examine our actions and be sure we’re not setting a pattern with people around us – being ‘yourself’ is always the best but unfortunately many of us do not think deeply about that when making some moves. Our motives, reasoning, everyday attitude should reflect who we are because it’s actually easier and better for others to get used to who we are and not who we have become because we got fed up to continue what we started – the lie.

We should be aware that ‘unsaid rules’ and ‘things I’ll do’ we set at the inception of certain journeys is definitely meant to stay that way otherwise we become an enemy when we ‘decide’ to change. Don’t be sucked into some things/people so much so that you can’t breathe just because you love to be called ‘nice’ or you are/were trying to say ‘I’m very capable’ when in actual fact it was meant to be for ‘creating that first impression!



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