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10 Things A Girl Shouldn’t Do On a First Date

blank1. Don’t serve champagne.

If you are thinking of a long-term catch, this is way too keen, too smothering. Men are pathologically allergic to all kinds of overly-romantic signals early on in a relationship. If you crack open the champers the first time you get a man back to your flat, what does this say about your cool, calm and collected levels? It screams either ‘I like to party!’ Or worse ‘Oh my God, I am getting married’. He will bolt.

2. Don’t play slushy music.

Ditto. It’s too cheesy and desperate. It’s your job to create a nice ambiance during the evening. It’s up to him to start thinking of you as the girl of his dreams.

3. Don’t have candlelight.

Again, hackneyed. Ultimately, men prefer to dictate the pace on romance. Plus, he might start to think, what’s she hiding? How bad IS her skin?

4. Don’t be too confessional.

It’s all very well being open, honest and self-deprecating, but don’t plumb the depths of what went wrong in previous relationships. Don’t reveal your worst sins, neurotic moments or moody strops. They will emerge over time.

5. Don’t criticise his mother.

Again, plenty of time to fall out with her when you are established. All men love their mums and he will foresee problems if it looks like you are going to clash with her. Smile sweetly. And actually, she is part of his life so you’ll have to accommodate her to stay the course.

6. Don’t drink too much.

But do drink. This shows you can relax after a hard week. Enjoying a fine bottle of wine together is one of life pleasures, once you enter coupledom. However knocking back a few glasses of wine for Dutch courage is misguided. Being inebriated, especially before a date arrives, is off-putting. Get merry together – stay in control.

7. Don’t let him help with the washing up.

WHAT?! He should help clear up if you’ve gone to the trouble of cooking a meal for him, right? Wrong. When you invite people for a meal, do you expect them to load the dishwasher? No. And we don’t offer to do it at other people’s houses either. One key objective in cooking for a date is to make you look like a capable, efficient hostess who hasn’t slaved too keenly over a hot stove all day. It must look as though you have whipped up a delicious spread without skipping a beat, AND without making a massive pile of dirty pots and pans. You are not auditioning as his housekeeper! Incidentally, clear up mess and conceal the work you’ve put into the meal BEFORE he arrives.

8. Don’t forget about current affairs.

WHAT?! You expect me to recite ten members of Barack Obama’s team? Well no. But you are hardly going to be whispering sweet nothings all evening, so you’re going to have to hold a conversation with your Dish, and it will help to know something about what’s been going on in the world. You don’t have to be fluent in the Sub Prime Mortgage Lending Crisis but scan the headlines. Check out the news on MSN. Most men want a woman they can talk to. In our experience, men absorb current events as if by osmosis. Even if you just know the latest twists and turns in the Britney saga, or who won Strictly, it would give you something to discuss if conversation wanes.

9. Don’t be a mug.

Unless you are rich or very beautiful – or both – we think men are seduced by shallow superficial glitz which can be achieved by little things such as your choice of cups with saucers versus mugs. They are the equivalent of stockings versus tights. Pour milk into a jug before putting it on the table, sugar in a bowl with a small spoon. This may seem old-fashioned, but well brought-up men prefer civilised touches to the transport caff look.

10. Don’t restrain yourself, eating wise.

Tuck in. Serve yourself a normal portion, including carbs! It is no fun for your date to watch you pushing a lettuce leaf around your plate. Even if you don’t finish it, it’s important you start the meal with a reasonable plateful. You can always say you are full halfway through. On the other hand, if you are hungry then eat – but please don’t hoover up leftovers straight from the saucepan. Or have thirds of dessert!



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