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Weekly Discussions: Who Should Pay For The First Date, He Or She?

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‘What a man can do, a woman can do it better’ was once a theme of the “All women Beijing Conference”…. I believe in gender equality and I know almost every woman believes in that as well.

As much as women prefer to rock shoulders with men, certain times they acknowledge without contempt that men are “superior” especially when money has to be paid. The word “superior” is used loosely in my sentence.

This weeks discussion centers around First Dates. Who do you think should pay for first dates? I have always thought that when the man asks for a date, he is supposed to do the paying. Same way when a woman asks a man for a date, she is supposed to pay.

Yet most people think differently as to who should pay for the first date. What has been your first date experience if any and who paid for it?



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37 thoughts on “Weekly Discussions: Who Should Pay For The First Date, He Or She?”

  1. Whoever asks the other out should pay, or at least offer to. I can certainly pay for myself, but if a guy has asked me out on a date, I think he should at least offer to pay, it is just the courteous thing to do. This has nothing to do with women thinking men should always pay bla bla, NO, its just about decency. Same way if I am the one who asked the guy out somewhere, I would expect to be the one paying……. A guy once asked me out (first date), we went, he paid for himself and I ended up paying my own. I thought it was rude that he didnt even offer (though its happened with other guys before), but what actually bothered me, was when a day or two later he sent me a message saying “I really had a great time with you, and I would love to take you out again” …. – what? – “take me out again” – excuse me, how did you “take me out” when I paid for myself? – sorry I think I took myself out! – Bye!

    Reply
      • @Kin, yeah of course its ok 4 a lady 2 ask a man out…c i dun c y sum chicks fink its all up 2 da man 2 ask da lady out on a date u know…cum on ppl its da 21st century…its nt like ur askin him 2 marry u-just a date…i fink sum x chicks 4get dat guys can be shy as well…i know if i woz checkin 4 a guy n he woznt makin no moves…i wud deffo have no problem askin him out…if i get rejected den at least i can move on 2 sum1 else:-)

        Reply
    • @Truth, A woman is usually given this advice when going to a marital home” If your man makes money it is for the both of you but if you make money it is yours alone. With a mindset like this why won’t a man be expected to pay even when she had a wad of cash stuffed away in her purse..

      Reply
        • @Truth, Usually ladies believe their money belongs to them alone but their man’s money is for both of them. So she expects him to do the spending most of the time.

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      • @ghallday, well said, I think we raise our son’s to take care of the woman the first date idea falls in that category….everything you need to know about a man or woman is usually clear in that first date so yeah,

        us ladies see this as proof of his “responsible” nature

        Reply
        • why do i sense that its the ladies who are championing the course of the person whos asks pays? is it because you know 99.9% of the times, its the lads that do the asking? you crafty ladies hahaha. after all its just a date, lets go halves. if it was orange wednesday 2 for 1, then maybe i may think about it.  @truth, the thought of you sat at a restaurant alone, taking ‘yourself out’ is not great. think about the company you had and tell me if it was that bad? compare it to tucking into your nandos on your own. LETS GO HALVES, ITS ONLY FAIR!!

          Reply
  2. PLS LADIES DON’T GO ON UR FIRST DATE WITH NO MONEY. WE R IN A RECESSION AND EVERYONE IS TRYING TO CUT BACK ON THEIR SPENDING. DONT ORDER SOMETING THT YOU DON’T HAVE MONEY TO PAY FOR. ( JUST IN CASE THE DATE DON’T WANT TO PAY FOR URS) ALSO PLEASE AT LEAST OFFER TO PAY OR AT LEAST MAKE AN EFFORT. DON’T JUST SIT THERE LOOKING INTO THIN AIR, WAITING FOR HIM TO TAKE HIS WALLET OUT. SOME GUYS R REALLY CHEAP AND WON’T PAY NO MATTER WHT AND FOR SOME GUYS ITS ALSO PART OF THE TEST TO SEE IF YOU R GOING TO BE GOOD FOR HIM. INDEPENDANT WOMEN R ALWAYS PREPARED!!!!!

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  3. In our society usually a woman will despise a man who doesn’t pay for the date. He will be called “chisel” and many other expletives. If what a man can do a woman can do why is this the case?

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  4. I think there are points being missed by some of the folk who have commented here. A man picking up the tab on the first date is every bit as gentlemanly and old-fashioned standard as a man opening a door for a lady (something that makes me swoon when my man does it,) standing when a lady comes in the room, and waiting to be seated for a meal until the ladies have been seated.
    Times change, however, and we’re going to start seeing more of a “Well if I have to pay on the first date, she should too!” kind of attitude. Likewise, women reaching for some skewed “equality” are going to be outraged by a view into your article.
    It’s too bad that so many people have forgotten a little thing like the natural order. Men have been our hunter gatherers for thousands of years, only in the last hundred years or so have women begun to take offense to being cared for.

    Reply
  5. As a courtesy a woman should offer to pay even if she was the one who asked the guy out on a date, but it’s the guy who should take over and pay. Some things should just remain genderly separate. Hopefully that makes sense and I don’t have to explain.

    Reply
    • @Diana_11367, So the lady should make an attempt to pay and the guy should quickly jump in and pick up the tab. That makes sense. Some ladies would be offended by that though…. ” he thinks I can afford this?” will be the thought going through her head.

      Reply
      • @ghallday
        That’s not what I wrote, nor is that what I meant. If a woman takes out her money to pay for the bill, then the guy should tell her that he’s got this or whatever. If not, then I advise women not to go out on a second date with the guy, because that is not what a gentleman is suppose to do.
        Learn how to read ghallday!

        Reply
  6. No matter what da case is, da guy must atleast make some effort to pay.And da ladies dont go ordering the whole large pizza plus your fav. wine.
    JUst ask for some juice and see how he reacts, if he insists then you might want to ask for more.

    I feel its kinda weird when da guy waits for the lady to pay,y wud u want to go
    on a dae when you cant cater for two?

    ITs a He, who must pay, period!!!

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  7. Dis is usually a man thing but in dis age of gender equality the women shd also start paying cos they always make noise abt how independent they are & wat men can do they can do it better.

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  8. Now im wondering why a guy will ask me out knowing he cant pay for two. he must as well go out alone. wat the hell ……..

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  9. gviving away money or spending on some one else is something that comes by birth.by birth some people are kind and give away money easly and by birth others will do the vise versa..so these ‘2 birth marks’ play an important role when a man and a woman meets for the first time and the issue of spending comes up…thanx

    Reply
  10. i think the one who asked for the outing shld take the responsibility of payment. If i ask a guy out, i feel if i hadn’t asked him out, he wouldn’t be where he is, so i have to take care of the bill. Same way if a guy ask me out, he has to pay bcos i wouldnt have been there if not for him.

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  11. dis reminds me of my 1st date wit my boyfriend.he cald me one day and goes like baby i want 2 take u out 2day.i got so hapi dresd up & 2 my alter dismay afta eatn & everythn,he goes like baby,do u ve money on u?i paid 4 dat.a 2nd date,he did de same thn,de 3rd,he paid 4 his & i paid 4 mine.i ve advised myself neva 2 go out wit him on a date.weneva he ask 4 a date,i give an excuse dat i’m not well.its so stupid,if u’ve no money,don’t ask a girl 4 a date.it so annoyn.

    Reply

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