I am not sure if any of you have been in this situation before. Early this month, an unmarried friend of mine who has a younger sister was at the wedding of her sister and what she thought was the attention day for her lil sister became that of hers.( All eyes was on her like 2pac)
Countless well wishers of her sister including family members who greeted my friend said the same thing. I guess at this point, you know what they all said to her.
She did not look or sound jealous and neither did she ask for anyone’s pity or assurance, yet these African women all said “Do not worry, you are next, yours will come soon”.
As she told us her story and experience that day, I asked myself “Does It Really Matter Who Marries First?”.
My little sister will also be taken to the aisle early December and I am beginning to get worried, maybe I should not go there because I cannot take those “uncalled for and stupid messages” from Africans who think everyone woman has to marry at a certain age and that the older one should marry first.
It is sad and shallow to meet people who think married women equal happy women. I hope no one comes to me on my little sister’s D-day to “bish” about “it will be your turn next or you will be the next to marry” or else…….! Spare me that crap.
The question still remains- Does It Really Matter Who Marries First?”. What is your take on this?
If it makes you feel better I’ll tell you that it happens the same in my European country. I’m from Spain and when somebody who is unmarried goes to a wedding gets soon a lot of words on that style you wrote: don’t worry you’ll be the next, somewhere there is a man waiting for you who you will meet soon, etc etc. The question, actually, is: does it really matter if YOU get married or NOT? People are deeply obsessed with everybody getting married!
Well it does matter, it does. Unfortunately elder sisters never talk back to those family members who ask those archaic questions.
It happens in the USA too.
But I think as long as you marry the right one, no matter the age that is what will impress family the most.
b33ma ay3 mer3
I dont think it really matters.Afterall there is time for everything/everyone.But for the sake of the African mentality people would think otherwise.You cant say you would forcefully marry when you are not ready for it.And above all you cant please everyone on this planet.
WHO MARRIES FIRST OR LAST DOESN’T REALLY MATTER,BUT WHAT MATTERS IS THE MOTIVE BEHIND THE MARRIAGE.AS MOST PEOPLE MARRY TODAY AND DIVORCE TOMORROW MAYBE NOT LITERARY.THE BIBLICAL AND GENERAL SENSE OF MARRIAGE IS UTTERLY LOST TO US AS A GENERATION.WHAT WE DO IN TODAY’S WORLD OF MARRIAGES IS SOMETHING OUT OF CONTRACTUAL IMPLICATIONS.SO FIRST,SECOND OR TWENTIETH IT DOES NOT FALL IN ANY OF SUCH SEQUENCE.
but gossip mama paaaa, u grow, marry and be free eh, or u dey lack suitors? i can help in dat regard o gimme a shout.lol………….
on a more serious note, dis is one of the many silly questions most Africans ask witout thinkin of it makes the other person feel.the most annoyin part of it all is dat dose doin the questioning mostly aren’t married themselves. e hard o, africa.
This happens everywhere. Unfortunately some of the people in question and involve go too far. I was leaving with a family friend (a girl 2 yrs older than me ) together with my mother.
Now mind you I am related to her in anyway. When she found found out i was getting married, the enviness and the reaction from her was extreme. She actually went behind my back to confront my hubby and demanded to know why he did not approach her for marriage instead of me, that she was older than me and does my he know how many men I have went out with?. I was shock when my hubby told me all this on the same it happened. The fact is my husband hates her the moment he saw her in church and she did not know that.