Older Men With Younger Women: How Old Is Too Old?

3 min

I miss you all on here. Guess who is back to the front-line of GhanaCelebrities.Com again.  After disappearing to the back stage and stepping away from article writing to help with other aspects of the site, I am back in a full force for 2011 as we dream of taking GC to a different level. It feels great to be back on here again…

I am sure we have all come across terms like ‘Sugar Daddy,’ ‘Oluman Boogie,’ and even ‘Aristo’- all used to describe relationships where the man is significantly older than the woman. However, it would be typecasting to suggest that all relationships of this sort are due to reasons other than love, i.e. financial reasons (on the woman’s side), or sexual reasons (on the man’s side). What if an older man and a younger woman are really and truly in love with each other? Is there really a limit to how wide the age-gap between the two can be?

There are some relationships that have age-gaps which are just preposterous; take the late Anna Nicole Smith’s marriage to the late business tycoon, Howard Marshall- a man 63 years her senior. On the other hand though, some relationships where an older man is dating a younger woman could be deemed acceptable due to the age-gap being quite ‘reasonable’ per say; take Jay-Z and Beyonce (12 years difference), or Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (11 years difference).

I’ll be straight with you guys, this topic is of personal interest to me because I am currently dating a man who is 15 years older than me. The relationship is not for any financial gain on my side (I have never once asked him for money and never will as I am an independent woman) or any sexual gain on both sides; it is purely two people that have fallen deeply in love with each other after months of talking and becoming acquainted with each other.

I’m not going to lie- I had huge doubts in the beginning for several reasons: the age-gap, what my friends would think and what others would think. However, I have come to realise that I can’t live my life the way people want me to live it- I have to do what pleases me.

I have always been one of the most judgemental people when it comes to older men dating younger women; I always used to make assumptions that the females were just gold-diggers and the men were just using them sexually.

Therefore, it is extremely ironic that I now find myself in the same situation that I was once so critical of. Not only has this taught me not to be so judgemental, but has also opened my eyes and taught me some valuable points. Henceforth, I am now a great believer in love comes in all ages, but maybe I’m just being biased because it’s a situation I’m living at the moment.

I want to know what you guys think (not what you think of MY situation), but just what you generally think of older men dating younger girls.


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Blue Captcha Image


  1. OMG I was just discussing this very issue with my colleague yesterday. Apparently it was recently reported that an Asian man of 99 years old gave birth to his first son with his 50 year old wife! Wow I mean a man’s work is never done lol. Well I do truly think that it is possible for such relationships to be real love…I mean it’s cliché but age is really just a number where love is concerned. In most cases the age gap between couples always appears smaller as the couples get older so with Beyonce and Jay -z if they reach old age together the gap won’t seem so big!

  2. I dont see anything wrong with it cos it cld sometimes true love and affection from both sides cos i’ve also experienced it too. someone too might think otherwise

  3. welkam Regina! smtyms younger women in date older men bcos of money which is very common in our part of the world. others too r 4 real meaning 4 love and affection.

  4. Welcome back Miss Regina…gal i’m sure i speak 4 a LOT OF US when i say u have been truly missed on GC…welcome back!!! *going off to pop champagne* lol

    1. That’s whats up Soul Sister Boateng. I remember liking this writer’s articles when the site first started. I’ll cater the party with some kebabs and franks

      Welcome back Ms Sackey Addo 🙂

  5. I use to think age was just a number until I realised it really does matters.Its ok when a girl dates a guy who is 10 years older than her, above that I find it a little awkward.Why?Ok, I think being in the same world really matters in a relationship.I wouldn’t appreciate it if a guy keeps telling me to act like his age or would want me to do everything to please him.Oh yes, I would love to listen to you but at the same time would wanna be myself too.We need to understand each other.I mean its definately the best idea to date a guy who is older than you but to exceed certain limit is a no go area for me. My neighbour just got married to a guy who is about 13years older than her and seriously the girl had to change her fashion style and begin to dress like an older woman.She just turned 24 and cant even wear anything to reveal her curves, just because Mr. maturity says so.Well, I dont know about others but I believe there is nothing more cuter and satisfying than being yourself and enjoying life comfortably with the one you love.You dont wanna jump from acting like a 22yr old girl to acting like a 35yr old woman, maybe 25 would do.I mean its good to act like a matured person but you got to be yourself sometimes.I know most women cheat on their husbands just because they not able to satisfy them in bed, at a point in their lives.The truth is as a man grows older, so does his energy falls.

    1. Babe i get wot ur sayin n evryfin yeah…BUT i dun agree wen u say sumfin along da lines of jus cos a gal is goin out wiv an older man dey’re kinda bound 2 change….i think each gal is different….sum may be willin 2 change 4 da man but sum gals r so headstrong dey mite be like well take it or leave it….n i would say da latter as well cos if da man really luvs da chick (regardless of maturity levels)…he shud just take her as she is

    2. Adjoa in some respects I agree with you but in some I do not. What I like about the article is that when the match is perfect, age does not matter. For instance, that 24 yr old friend of yours does not have a marraige similar to other age gap couples(Beyonce still dresses skantily clad, Demi Moore-oh gosh lets not go there home girl is 50 and still rocks stripper clothes) who love their women and don’t try to change them.

      1. Remember all those you just mentioned are celebrities and dont really have to please their husbands only.Well thats my opinion anyway.

        1. And a good opinion it is! I personally adhere to the lady in the streets mantra I wish that neighbor whose changing for her man a lot of luck, cause it sounds like she got the short end of the stick.

  6. ok so now i’ve sipped some champagne celebratin Regina’s return lol…back 2 da topic…have 2 agree with the majority of comments so far…really dun fink love has any boundaries…i fink love is 1 of dose things that is out of your control…it’s your heart dat chooses hu u fall 4…DATS WOT I THINK YEAH…so gwarn Regina…hope u n ur man have a great relationship….personally i think 15 years is a lot but I’ve heard worse like 20 or sumfin…but as long as u both luv each other dats da main fin

  7. wow, where do i begin. I believe dating or marrying an older man is one ‘s own prerogative, but mostly younger women who date and marry an older guy(20yrs nd more) is purely gold-digging esp if the man has money. As far as bey/jay, bey makes her own money is filthy rich herself she doesnt need anything from him, anna-nicole is a different story, she met howard marshall when she was a stripper so that is purely a gold-digger. the man was ridiculously rich too, so i say if u are an independent young woman making your own money and an older man comes along and u like him go for it. But i wonder how many younger women will date or marry an older man who doesnt have money?

    1. You tell me girl.love that!To me dating a man who is 15-20yrs older than I am is more like dating my father which I know we would both love each other on purpose not specifically love.

    2. Don’t get me wrong there are advantages in a older guy. He’s probably a man. He’s got the job and the home and the car, and been divorced with a kid already So if a woman finds it more appealing to just step into that world to jump from the prolonged adolescence of the late 20′s into full-fledged settled-down womanhood that could make sense There are many other things that are attractive about older men. They embody wisdom and stability. They can afford nicer restaurants and vacations and have cultivated greater tastes in the arts. They’re more experienced, more chivalrous, and more likely to want to settle down than a twenty something party boy they’re daddy substitutes An older man’s going to be the strong, nurturing guy who takes care of her, teaches her, and treats her like a princess the kind of relationship that she probably lacked growing up So I break this down into 2 basic reasons women go for older guys
      1. Material reasons2. Daddy issues
      Materially, Evan said it well He’s got the job and the home and the car and They can afford nicer restaurants and vacations and have cultivated greater tastes in the arts
      Daddy issues – I’d venture to say that I think both extremes apply here. Evan wrote treats her like a princess the kind of relationship that she probably lacked growing up I’d say that I’ve run into just as many daddy issues with girls who WERE treated like princesses by daddy
      No matter which reason(s) applies, it’s the same thing in effect. She wants to be treated like a child. She wants to be immature  Keep it light and fun. Be playful Have fun Tease her. She hasn’t forgotten what it’s like to play and goof around It’ll do you some good to remember not to take life so seriously. Be a little crazy and opt for things that younger guys generally can’t afford to do Go ahead. Enjoy yourself.
      Be the leader. Be the man. Younger women are most likely looking for someone to take the lead They have less experience in life and are most likely looking for someone to show them what’s out there Make your date and other plans ahead of time but be sensitive and ask her opinion of the plans that you have already made (She may be allergic to sushi) Be a man yet respect her opinion. Opening doors, walking on the outside of the curb, and pulling out chairs is another way to make a big impression on younger women.
      4) Don’t act like a “perv”. Most attractive young women have been hit on by some lame, perverted older guy. Don’t try to move in too soon or she’ll think you’re just a “perv” looking to get into her pants. When your alone together, it’s OK to flirt, but let her pursue you for anything further. Otherwise you may scare her away Give her some space. Younger women have probably just gotten out of their parent’s house with very structured lives and zero freedom. If she’s attracted to you, it’s not because you’re re-creating the suffocating environment that she just left it’s because you represent something different. Give her some space. Be the man that she’s always dreamed about and then don’t chase her Let her come to you.

  8. Hey guys!Thank u so much 4 all the sweet messages welcoming me back:-)…I missed u guys that’s why I just HAD 2 come back with some new articles 4 y’all…hope u all enjoy it….and I’ve been reading all the comments so far…some sick discussion going on here…keep it up guys…we’re taking GC 2 the top trust me!

  9. i find myself dating older men ( for some reason i get hit on a lot by older men). And dont ask them for money. i think that age doesnt matter.10-15yrs is ok. but they both have to be comfortable with themselves bcos of how society views that. like Adjoa said her neighbour is changing the way she dress for her husband . it may be bcos he wants her to look older in order to please society. and if he really loves her, he wouldnt care what people think.

  10. I am an older guy and I am dating a girl 18 years younger. She is in her mid 20’s and I am in my early 40’s. What is interesting about our relationship, is that, because we have similar interests, we get along well. I don’t try to influence how she dresses or how she behaves, I just get on with it and she does. But with such relationships, you have to be comfortable with yourself and she has to be too. It’s a matter of what you both want. Love and committment is the sticky glue that holds relationships together. When you are in love, age doesn’t matter. Even people that go into relationships for money, could end up falling in love. Just think about a situation where your man was alot older and other younger girls wanted to take your place, you would fight for your position, won’t you…

  11. this is really terrible speaking  from experience  i have been in this same  situation before with a guy who was 15 years older than me.i was 21  and he was 35..but he lied to me he was 30, thing 10 years age difference wasn’t bad.,well i was a young girl who wanted to have fun and enjoy  my twenties but because he has passed dat level of fun he wanted  me to act like him n be more matured..he wanted me to  stay home all the time with him…cut off my friends. i told him the relationship is not all about him as he thinks..n he cant control me. i wasnt happy wit the way the relationship was going so i broke up with him..simple…so i think is best u date someone ur in ur age level, with dat u both understands each other.

    1. I get where you’re coming from Sweetest Gal- cause u had a bad experience dating an older guy so yeah it must be easier for u now 2 date someone your age level as u’ve learn’t from experience….but I think it’s really important to know that not all older guys are like you ex though…my man isn’t like that….and I know it’s not just because he knows I’m so stubborn and headstrong lol….but he’s got quite an understanding mind….someone could be 35 or 40 or whatever but they don’t necessarily have to FEEL or ACT their age (not saying they have to act immature)…but I know a lot of older people- both men and women- who are quite young at heart…so not every older man dating a younger girl wants them to start behaving like an old woman or something

    2. aha that is the other thing i hate about dating older men, they are so CONTROLLING, i can testify to that, its always like u cant wear this that, where have u been why dont u pick up ur calls, i can do it. The ones who are young at heart and understanding are fewer than the controlling types.

  12. I am a married to a man over 15yrs older than me. We have been married for about 4yrs now. He is not controlling in any way and I dress whichever way I feel comfortable with. If I had to choose again, I will choose my husband. It is true that the society frowns at such relationship but what every lady wants in a marriage is hapiness and faithfulness.

    1. Dating an older man might be ok if u dont intend marrying him. Most of them r understanding, no doubt but they can be very controlling. I used to think that age does not matter in relatnships but now I knw better. I used to date an older man. we were together for awhile b4 he proposed marriage. I had to opt out of the relatnship when he hinted that I will quit my job after the marriage. He said he makes enough to take care of me ( and the kids when they come). He even gave me an option to choose btw him and my career. Ur guess is as good as mine.

  13. I was dating this older man who is a respectable and noble person but i never found pleasure been with him. I was not in love with him anyway and when ever we engage our self in petting, because i was not in love with him i never felt happy with him so i called it quite. he was in for sex but i was not interested in having sex with him. I will not advice any younger lady of my type to go in for an older man. It is not pleasurable to me.

  14. My ex boyfriend now. of 10 years is 51, got a compliment from a 29 year old stripper. He has been going through the change of life thing. Any way She tells him hes hot and he told me he wants a stripper to take care of him .Because she is young it means more i guess. Shes a drunk couldnt even slur her words. Snorts norcos.HE hates drunks and druggies. Starting seeing her and me at the same time, Texting me wanting me to do porn and will make sure i will be ok when he was at her house. Says never love just take all you can. He sells weed .Stopped working been seeing her for two weeks. Uses people,lies, is a conartist, an plays games. Says he needs money. Since i am just starting back to work again. Dont have much money, and not giving it to him, when hes seeing her. He went to taho last night an married her. Said has to get the money before she gets to know him. Sad thing is he is a good liar .And bad temper. Cheats and never be faithfull . thats why i moved out.But we were dateing and he jumped on the money train. Get this…. HE has court tuesday for possesion and sales of perscription drugs. Can get 5 years in pen. And just to think he tells me Im a dumb ass. Think he will be with her for long? When he gets out ,think she wont sell his shit? Why would you marry for money. ? She has a house . The things she has he wants. Love? I have waisted 10 years lost all i had . I was a fool…. loved him did anything for him. NEVER cheated an lied 2 times. i will be ok some day… shreded my lifeto pieces. Now i see the real randy …..

    1. i will be a cold hearted bitch now . trust no one. ex was the love of my life. dont trust men period I have a body way better then any of those strippers. an karma get him. fool

    2. How does a old guy feel young standing next to a chick 22 years younger. Makes him look old. An his new stripper wife said i was a prune seen my picture i guess and i dont got wrinkles. My ex she is with. has deep ones . So she is useing him as he is her. this is great…

  15. i’m 57 and have been dating a 35 year old woman for several months/we clicked right away.i easily pass in appearance for being in my early 40’s and because i’ve always passed for younger,i’ve dated women much younger than myself for years.i don’t have wrinkles.women my age do.(always exceptions here and there of course).she and i have the same taste in music(80’s rock),we love the same kinds of movies(no older than anything released in the 80’s)and we love theme parks and carnivals and the list goes on.our political views are the same.if ,however,either one of us had taken advice of most posters on most ‘age issue’ forums,we’d never have gotten together./age is just a number/people my age expect me to be in to 70’s music or what’s worse ,60’s and even 50’s//they also absolutely don’t enjoy doing the same things/.i’m in perfect physical shape,no bad knees ,no back or joint pain,i powerwalk a couple miles daily.physically i feel no different than i did when i was in my 30’s.but can you believe i’ve had people actually argue with me as though i’m lying? others love to tell me that “you may THINK you’re the same physically but at 57,let me gurantee you that you’re not!!!”..i merely tell them to argue with my doctor,who’m i see for checkups bi-yearly//i’ve never taken ageism seriously but i seem to run into people more often than not who are extremely ageist.’ve read that this mostly true of American culture and not most of the european world/wonder why.

  16. I found the love of my life at 19 years old in college. He was 33 and accomplish in his carrer. The first time I saw him we were in the hallway before class. I never knew he was going to be my teacher,but as soon as we saw each other we stared. Heading opposite ways, we Couldn’t keep our eyes off each other. We saw so deep. Thats how class went. He taught as if I was the only one in the room. Grown women were never a threat to me, because he never smile the same as with me. I loved him but avoid him because of age and the situtation. The last day of class he wanted to ask me something, he looked at me and thought twice and stopped. I think my heart would stop if he asked me out. I left empty handed thinking I did the right thing, but now I regret it cause I think about him every day and im 21. I met him again he had “the look” (dam) he has a girlfriend now.