How many of you have heard the song ‘Good girls like bad guys’ by DMX? I never understood the concept of that tune when I was growing up. However, certain situations that have occurred around me with time has led me to one conclusion- that the ladies really do prefer the bad boys over the good guys.
Let me give you an example in order to highlight the point of this article. One of my best friends was dating her ex for around 4 years. I wouldn’t necessarily say that her ex was a bad boy in terms of personality- it’s just that he did not treat her well and certainly did not show her the same amount of respect that she was showing to him.
They broke up recently- well he dumped her BY TEXT- and my girl was heartbroken for months; when I say heartbroken I mean the kind of heartbreak that meant she didn’t even have the energy to get out of bed and face the day- just basically secluded herself from everyone.
She tried to patch things up with him so bad, yet every time she got on the phone to him, she would face the worst kind of expletive-laden verbal abuse ever! Yet, when the guy wanted sex, he would be on the phone to her and like a fool; she would go and cater to his needs.
She recently met a nice, handsome, decent hard-working guy who she seems to really like. Yet, whenever the ex calls her, she still feels the need to answer and cater to his every whim and desire.
As a friend, I could see that she was getting played, and I think deep down she knew it herself, but I don’t understand why she found it so hard to cut loose the strings of her ex. I asked her outright why she was prepared to let such a good guy out of her grip just because of some wasteman. You know what her answer was- and I quote-: “…because I want to have fun, and I can’t do that with a good guy.”
OMG ohh wow so she wants to have fun/ Cant she have fun with the other decent guy? well there is a saying that the devil you know is better than the angel you dont know. She dated that guy for 4 years so she knows him whiles on the other hand she met this new nice guy not long ago so maybe she knws what she is doing.. hmm i think is kinda true abt girls like bad boys but idk how to put. I will just let it be like that. Guys love bad dudes.
i mean girls like bad guys not guys love bad dudes.
@ maame, thats exactly what I was thinking.I feel there is more to this story you know, talking about fun, am not sure what kind of fun she wants.As I said it all depends on the lady’s personality.
I agree @ Maame, it is possible that this girl feels she is the one to change this bad boy so she can get all the accolades….but risks are so high, she runs the risk of loosing herself in the process, she should seriously think twice
True, its better to leave what you cant change.
Its not like some ladies prefer the bad boys over the good once, the thing is its kinda hard to have fun or do “certain things” with a guy who is so naive.(well depending on who the lady is)I wouldn’t want to teach a guy how to do “certains things ” cuz that might look like am tryna be all bossy.Talking about bad, it it can be grouped into so many categories, like bad as in a criminal/heartbreaker etc…My thing is go for it if you think you can handle it, but if you cant, leave it to the right owners.I would date a bad guy with the motive of loving him for who he is, and at the same time helping him get out of his bad deeds.People listen to you when they feel you love them.You dont want a bad guy to feel like “oh, am too perfect and you need to be like me”Thats so wrong, we all got to remember two blind ppl. cannot take a walk together. I really do understand what your friend is going through, its sometimes hard to get some ppl. off your mind regardless what they do but then at the end of the day you got to face fact.Just tell her to learn how to love this new guy, it might take time but it works anyway.
Your words are so beautifully spoken babe:-)….oh and my bad I should have made this clear in the article…not bad as in a criminal but just bad as in the heartbreaker type- does not really know how to treat a chick etc etc
Thanks hun.And ur articles are so beautifully written..lol.Catches my attention all the time.Ok, got that, the player type, I see.
Awwwww…bless…thank u soooo much:-)
@adjoa quick question have you dated a bad guy before in your life
@ Miyagi, I think i ve.y u ask?
I can tell about the way you express yourself in your comment
I like good sweet men because of this reason that Adjoa Naabaso gave
its kinda hard to have fun or do “certain things” with a guy who is so naive.(well depending on who the lady is)I wouldn’t want to teach a guy how to do “certains things ” cuz that might look like am tryna be all bossy.
I have found good nice guys tolerate when a lady is the boss in matters of excitement. Bad guys tend to have attitude and try to put you down simply for knowing more.
Your friend will learn soon enough, life of the party type of men rarely make good life partners.
hahaha Kin, and about my name, is it like I have now baaso or i had baaso already?Anyway, I love your point cuz you made mention of a specific area where everyone would listen to their partners”matters of excitement”.Yea, I agree wid some bad guys tryna act like “king solomon” u know, but you would have to shut such guys down and bring them to their level.
sorry ohhh sis Adjoa, simple typo you see, Nbaaso got it 🙂
lmao at the kings solo comment, its true some bad boys are sooooooo tryflyn…at least with good sweet nice guys we have a chance to show them how life can be, when the think of fun, they’ll run to the one that is giving them a chance, but like you said, it all depends on the girl in question and even the nice guy in question
the “good guys” are mostly boring. i love the “bad guys” but wont get married to one.
So you will eventually get marry to a good guy than
yeah, will end up with a good guy & i’ll be the master of the game……..lol
when good girl meets bad boy In a way he is foreign to her exciting unpredictable This combination will amount to a co-dependant combustible couple with opposites being attracted to the other for all the wrong reasons A good girl jumps in with no awareness of who she is dealing with while a bad boy has the art of manipulation down to perfection He is excited by the prospect of a new “game” the good girl has to offer
The truth is typically the good girl picks the bad boy because of how he makes her feel fascinating needed pursued and good He is a rush and a big part charity case too- he’s got a lot of issues and If she tames him or helps him it will be the ultimate good deed Of course it’s not that simple There are many other reasons a good girl is drawn to an irresistible bad boy for example Tattoos, piercings, smirk, extra sharp well-dressed OR rough clothing Attitude confident/cocky Addictions alcohol drugs smoking women violence/fighting dares speed/fast cars, etc Stands out in a crowd attracts a crowd or remains by himself either way is intriguing Make their own rules.
That is soo true. Women love attention not excluding myself so they always want to be where attention is given. Most bad/ nefarious guys gets attention easily and this attracts the girls. That’s how it is but cool guys on the other side like barely gets attention from fellow friends and peeps surrouding them. have you ever heard a girl saying “this guy koraa he is too boring”? Well he might be the good guy but women dont like that!!
Am in the same kinda situation though in my case we’ve been together for a year and 5month but we’ve not had sex yet though we kiss n caress cos am not ready for sex yet cos of the way he treats me. He doesn’t what me to meet his family nor friends but knows almost half of my family and also we hardly see each other nor even do some outing together. Anytime i try to distance myself from him and avoids his calls, he texts and professes his love for me and has asked that i have patience cos in due time i will be introduced to his family. I always agree cos i love him very much but its getting weirder. Because of this i think i somehow understand what my sister in the article is going through. I knew within my heart that he could be playing me but hardly have the strength to let go of him. I need help and advice myself to know how to go about it. Sorry for posting my problem instead of solution!.
Well lady I have been taking time by reading your comment and it’s a good thing your sharing your story here with us nothing wrong with that at all and you surely don’t have to be sorry I mean IRS sound more like you cant let him go because he knows your weakness in and out and that he could be taking advantage of that you stated that he knows half of your family and that you love him so much but you haven’t seen the same thug from his side that tells me how much you care about him and would like to settle down with him but he is not really ready for it or cooperating I am not going to say that they might be a second person involve but I’m just judging on your statement you just wrote that your not strong enough to stand in your own looks I don’t know how old u are but all I can say to you is be strong don’t east much of your time this is 2011 anything that you ain’t right let it go don’t wast your time on it it’s a good thing that your not ready for sex but have u had communication eye to eye with him to see what the problem is of where the problems ly your girl fool of opertunities don’t let one man ruins it for you be strong in your shoes and truly and be a team leader anymore advice you can always hit me on my bbm or fb
WOW…you’ve been together that long and no sex?!?!…I applaud u seriously u should feel proud of yourself…BUT I think your suspicions about this guy may be right…I’m not trying 2 generalise but I don’t know many men that would stick around for nearly a year and half without nookie- UNLESS THEY’RE GETTING IT SOMEWHERE ELSE…that’smy opinion anyways.
In terms of u saying u always go back to this guy though….think about it babe 4 real…WHAT IS HE OFFERING U THAT MAKES U LOVE HIM SO MUCH?….and u don’t even spend that muxch time together…and it’s not like he’s got hardcore “good-good” cause you’re saying you guys have never had sex! As painful as this might sound I think you’re getting played and you need to leave him….it’s not like he’s offering you much (if anything at all) so why waste your time …no matter how much u love him trust me when I say there’s always a guy out there that is willing 2 treat u like the Queen u deserve 2 be treated like…just cause u love him it doesn’t mean u need 2 stay and put up with his trifling…trust your intuition girl…yep your situation is tres weird….to me it sounds like he’s leading a double life somwhere else….get out whilst u can….don’t waste your time on someone who ain’t respecting you
@Regina I like all your topics and answers but I so don’t agree with the part where you stated that he might be getting it somewhere than nothing bad at all but why is that girls always think that man might be getting bookie some where else I went out with a girl for almost two years and two months without even sleeping with her which was part of my plan just to see if she was the one and is patient in life but I guess things didn’t go way I planned and she ended up being pregnant of someone else I mean being in a relationship doesn’t mean that it’s all about the nookie you can have fun without thinking about the nookie you know
I say he might be getting it from somewhere else cause (not been through it myself) but situations I’ve seen that’s always been the case…that’s why I said I don’t know MANY MEN…hence I’m not generalising and saying ALL men
hmm Miyagi, so you see, I think you didnt know ur girl that much ,so then she thought you weren’t giving her what she wanted so had to get it outside.you took a plan and didnt even think about her part.(as to whether she can cope or not)
Ma sista eeeh i´ve got de same pro like u n i´m 1 yr n 4 months together with him,he hates it,when i tryna contact him,since one 4 months,when he contacts me he only wanna have sex with him.he knows ma family n some friends,but i know none of his.sometimes i wanna break up,but i love him too much.
oh lord…your friend is in i dont give a damn about guys anymore phase…u need to talk to her…seriously…i dont think it is about her going for a bad boy…talk to her before she loses the meaning of love….speaking from experience…she is still heartbroken…and she probably want to get the ex out of her system…or she doesn want to be in a relationship cos its painful…shes in a defense mechanism phase…
she wants to have fun and u tell me she was dumped and was heartbroken….i beg.
LMAO….I think she still is brokenhearted though….that’s why she’s allowing herself 2 go back 2 him…cause she hasn’t accepted the fact they’re done (and she still loves him- unfortunately lol)
for her to tell u she wants to have fun and can’t do dat with a good guy says alot about her mentality.i think dats the kinda vibe she’s showing the guy and once the guy sees dat, he’ll also treat her the same way . if u wanna have fun, we’ll have fun, if u wanna be serious, w’ell be serious.
Yeah I get what u mean IN A WAY…like I was just reading something now about women getting played cause they turn a blind eye to the truth….it’s like some men don’t hide the fact that they’re dogs- it’s just that some women turn a blind eye 2 it and refuse 2 accept the truth so in that way I agree with u…but then again love is blind…her ex has ALWAYS been like that though (i.e. not the really hands-on/caring type)…and I think cause she still ain’t over him…she’s almost trying 2 morph herself into what she THINKS he would like…which is some1 carefree, up for anything, etc etc
ladies are like that. dont be surprice ( maa pe kosiya fuo) they like guys who will beat them and insult them .
Oh Kabiru, say it again.Let her continue having fun (as if life is all abt having fun) & if the boy dumps her she ‘ll be the same person crying abt having a broken heart & how heartless men are.Some of these gals really need to grow up from these childish mentality.
Well yo got a point but she was m
@adjoa you got a point but she was more of a material girl to be onest I didn’t really take my time to get to know her things went really fast in the beginning so I went for it your a girl and you know how some girl can be she used to tell me how independent she was and take care of her own stuff but when we go out shopping I used to end up spending and spending but when I later on realised the type of girl she was I decided to pay les attention to her not knowing that she was already in a flow with someone she new and was doing everything for her so I have learn from that but at the same time it’s a expierence as well
ITs pretty funny because am in the same situation.I broke up with my ex some years ago.He drank, smoke weed, carries a gun..is jailed back and forth.I always adviced him to stop.He will listen to me then tell’s me he lied.He started to change little bit.but unfourtunatly we broke up.Am with sexy guy who looks just like Chris Brown.Tall, handsome,light skin, everything he got.But he’s a good guy.He doesn’t like quarrelling, arguing.He’s the quite type.Loves me so much to the max,but at times i just dont know how to treat him.At the beginning of our relationship.I kept fighting and arguing with him over nonsense.But he wouldn’t want to fight back.i guess i wanted to change him to become a little bad.When am alone i think of my ex bad boy.Wishing that my current boyfriend will be a little bit sharp.Like arguing sometimes and kind of breaking my heart a little bit and getting together fast.With my bad boy ex..we broke up about 50 times and always got bk 2gether. But anyways, i think girls like bad boy because they bring exciting into their life…Gets their heart bumping so fast then slowing down which makes it exciting.Girls feel’s good knowing that they can change him.Girls love the challenge and feel needed.Girls like risk takers.Girls also like feeling in powered knowing that they are the one who is dealing with this bad boy..which mean she is strong to deal with a guy like that.For me i like the fact he made my heart race so fast then back down.It turned me on to see how brave he is and tells me his horrific stories.It makes me cuddle up with him more for the fact that he survived through it all…ok now time to change…i guess u know what i mean.I guess i need to just learn how to deal with this good guy and move on…it tough sometimes…i need to start getting use to him.ITs funny even though i know he wont cheat on me…i put false accusation just to let the fire spark a little bit..i always ask myself why he loves me so much and still with me…hmmm…its a question ask each day…but dont get me wrong i love him so much…just need fire…HELP…what should i do!!!!