Love & Relationship: My Boyfriend Gets Lost For 3 Months, Hides Family & Friends From & Can’t Reach Him Most Times, Yet He Says He Loves…

Dear GC,

I have been with this guy for a year and five months, and there is still so much I don’t understand about him and I need advise because am so very much confused.

Before I go into why I’m confused, I’d  like u to know that throughout this period of dating, we’ve never had sex. I won’t deny that we have tried having sex but it just hasn’t happened. I fear so much because I feel he will leave me afterwards because of the things I just don’t get about him though he has not tried to force me.

My reason for being confused is that, he has refused to let me meet either his family or friends. He gave the excuse that his father is a very strict man and for his friends, he doesn’t have close friends.

Aside from all these, I hardly see him. We see like once in three months though we communicate everyday. My problem is he is not working but always busy on a family errands.

I told him last month, that this year I wouldn’t be taking any of this anymore and he promised he would do something about it.

I tried reaching him on the 2nd of this month but he never picked up nor did he call back, so I called again on 4th and he pick up and give the excuse of he leaving his phone at a friends house and that he was busy at that moment so he will call me back which he never did.

So I decided to forget him once and for all. I avoided his call for three days and he became desperate and started sending so many messages.

I don’t  know, I feel he loves me and I do too but I just want to end the relationship. I am not sure if that is the right thing to do.

Worried Lady,

Maabena

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Dear Maabena,

As most of us know Love and Lust can cloud our judgement which makes it difficult to make the right decisions. If you didn’t love this man it’s very likely you would have left him by now.

I have always said it is better to be single and content than be in a relationship and be miserable. Even when your single and feeling lonely at times at least you will not be sitting there waiting on calls, stressing and pleading for his attention.

Even a man who is a friend or a relation of yours will tell you, when a man loves you he wants to be with you, know your people and for you to know his. If its anymore complicated than that he is not interested enough in the future of your relationship. Maybe he wants to wait before introducing you to his parents but to his friends? He is giving you excuses.

I’m glad that you got the guts to make the decision to leave when he ignored your calls. You were right to be annoyed, that was disrespectful. Be careful about him drawing you back in just because he is now making a few extra calls. You should not have to leave him for him to take action.

What I want to know is did he agree to be non intimate relationship with you?
Some men will appear to accept a woman dosn’t want sex but will then misbehave when you don’t. You surly have the right to be in a non sexual relationship, just make sure your man wants the same. If he doesn’t that is also his right to want this. If this is the case then it means you are both having wrong expectations.

Relationships differ from one couple to another so it’s never a good thing to compare yours with others. Although once every three months if you live in the same country is probably not your idea of a happy relationship. If you were happy and content you wouldn’t be questioning his behaviour.

As the saying goes, people don’t change unless THEY want to! The one question you really need to ask yourself to help decide is this. What are the real chances my man will really change? Or will I spend another year trying to change him and feeling like I’ve wasted more time on this relationship.

Like ourselves men are not suppose to be perfect BUT if they say they love you then they should want to be with you in a loving and respectful way. Anything less than this should give you the incentive to wait for someone better.

All the best!

SassyChic!

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