Dear GC,
I met this Ghanaian guy on facebook and he is in USA. We started dating after couple of conversations and we seemed in love, but for some time now, he does not call or send me messages.
I do the calling which I really do not mind. My problem is, when he misses my calls he does not return them claiming he is busy. I have my doubts because how could he be so busy that he can not even spend a minute to inbox me.
I want to forget about him. Is it the right thing to do. I have discussed this severally with him but there is still no change. Should I forget about him or should I hope for a change?
Erica,
__________________________________________________________________
Dear Erica,
I am very certain of the advise I’m about to give you and the straight and simple answer to your question is no, you should not hope for a change.
No matter how much your desire encourage you to think this can or may happen, it won’t. As you stated you have brought this to his attention more than once and he has not changed so it won’t just suddenly happen.
He will only feel you are nagging him and as I’m sure you know men detest this! In all honesty, no one wants to be nagged at and if he continues to miss your calls, that is his way of saying he is not listening or agreeing with you. As painful as this is for you that is the naked truth.
I’m tempted to ridicule the whole idea of meeting someone on facebook but let’s be honest Erica your dilemma can happen regardless of where you meet someone!
My concern is that even though you feel you made a great connection over the phone, without physically meeting him and spending several months with a man, can you as a woman confidently say there is a chance this could be something special?
I’m very old school and I believe it is the man that should and will be the one to chase and say it is a relationship. Would you not rather be in a position to take him up on his kind offer or turn him down rather than the other way round as you now find yourself?
It could be he sees your meeting as just having fun chatting rather than a relationship.
I’m sure your thinking, why doesn’t he just say if he doesn’t see it as a relationship? Well strangely enough most men will expect you to figure this out all by yourself based on the fact he is not calling, texting or asking to meet you over a long period of time.
It is unlikely his behaviour will change so you’re single! Your free as a bird, chat, flirt and mingle with guys on your own turf.
Do this with subtlety and have a more laid back approach or you will find you repeat the same pattern of men suddenly losing interest!
Best of luck
SassyChic!
Send all your relationship & Love probs to me via [email protected]
Image Credit: Google Images
Best of Luck Erica, sassy said it all.
I agree with you adjoa
This is the reason why I always advice people not to date others through online stuff because one there is reason why he made the account unless your the luckiest person to fine someone who is real most people just go online to search for booty call and will be bragging about what they do what they have what they can offer another person it’s a putty that innocent girls are always falling as a victim to be brother just came for a booth call but wasn’t successful so hey made you fall in live with him now that he probaly had what he wanted he has moved on again I will see girl step back rethink and let it go
Erica it best to back off i ve fallen a victim to this kind of thing and i ve really learnt my lesson. most often they tend to lie and we believe in it. it better u back off now till it too late
Erica forget abt him cus 80% ghananian guys here in America are Dicks and jerk offs sorry 4 da use of ma words buh itz true hun n da ones on fcbk well NO COMMENT..P.S da internet is nt da best place to look 4 love in ma opinion jst wait n the perfect gentleman who will nt play wid ur heart will come by..
hahhahaahah lmao wa bo lost menua baa..ko tena wob3bi di wo hia aa. Trust me, things will remain the same. He’s definitely not ready to change. Move on hun, and stop wasting ur time and his too.
victim!!! It will be fine hun. Just forget about him and move in.
Facebook is not a dating site. Guys who approach you for that purpose needs to be deleted immediately. Period. Block, remove, unfriend, do whatever you need to do. These assholes who come on fb looking for love should be deleted pronto. Don’t even give them the courtesy of a response.
is there a special place to look for love? it can be anywhere, so if ppl are choosing FB as their channel why be negative about it.
who knows? there are great ppl using FB to search for love.
First of all unless you live under a rock and have no social skills you would believe that fb is a great place to look for love. Internet relationships/dating sites are specific in the service target, and even then you have to be extremely careful. It is amazing that IDIOTS like you would want to come and attack me for my response to the writer. Honey, let me inform you, I have so many inbox dating/marriage proposals that it’s not even funny. As for ppl popping up in my chat box asking where I am located surely is a red flag. I will repeat, fb is not a dating site. If you have developed a (genuine) friendship that leads to something more intimate that is a different matter. Too many ppl come on fb looking to escape the reality of their fhukin boring lives, while the other person on the other end isn’t even taking them seriously.
Let me quote what the writer wrote in order to put things in perspective for your analytical deficiency, ” We started dating after couple of conversations and we seemed in love, but for some time now, he does not call or send me messages.” Really, after a couple of conversations they seemed to be in love. That’s pure fhuckin desperation and the guy knew it. This guy was probably messing around trying to have fun, having a real relationship already. People need to get a life. I will say it again, fb is not a dating site and if anyone approaches you on that front tell them to go to hell. Starting out as friends is a completely different situation. I’ve met some wonderful friends on fb and after a few years we’ve met in ‘real’ life. C’mon girls don’t be so desperate. By the way, most of us who are not from Africa find it troubling how gullible people can be on fb. Before you, B.B, come to me talking smack, take the time to know that the world is not as small as your mind. When people talk from a different perspective you can learn something. The world world is not an “African movie”. Get a life and get knowledgeable.
Of course i will get a life & get knowledgeable miss “i know it all” . Tell me, why are you feeling grumpy. I bet you met s’one on FB & the person jilted you, yeah? Dont worry cutie, whilst there’s life there’s still hope. LMAO.
does facebook belong to you its not a dating site true but why is it called social network stop writing crap okay go back and learn the different between those to words
Miyagi, first thing you need to figure out is the difference between dating sites and a social network site such as fb. Once you figured that out and truly understand the differnce then I will permit you to have a conversation with me. You come off as a social retard. To ask someone if fb belongs to them shows how stupid you are. Take your head out of your ass, the stench is affecting your ability to reason. Facebook was created by a few college students as a SOCIAL NETWORK, but desperate A holes like you come on with a different idea and people like me can smell your stupidity a mile away.
Lol look how funny and said you sound your cracking me up for real but I will let you off but I will be back for you untill than enjoy replying on peoples comment tomorrow is another day hombre
Kr, i think u’re getting this whole social network thing wrong. if i don’t know anything at all, i know abt socialisation. dis simply means getting to know your friends better and getting to meet new ppl. facebook as a social network site. offers the opportunity for ppl to meet old pals and make new ones. if ppl meet and decide to take their friendship up a notch, nothing stops dem.get dat right and stop attackin people.
Amen Opanin maybe he or she will go and do some rethinking
You are just one retarded shitfucker why are you running away for I’m knocking on your door again Im worried about you I just want you to make sure you understand the difference I want even insult you because your not worth it
@Opanin, people seem to be jumping down my throat w/o ‘reading’ what I wrote. Maybe because all some people come on here to do is fight. I clearly stated that if dating is their main purpose, that is a dud. What’s the problem here? I am not a Ghanaian, so when I talk about social network versus dating sites there is a clear distinction that comes to mind. Fb for dating purposes is generally regarded in a negative light. The general consensus, for the average American, is that people who approach you on fb looking for ‘love/relationship’ are fraudsters. Since my first response was directed to the writer, I don’t know why others are having a problem with it. Looking at what other people wrote, I did not write anything differently.
Most of the respondents are of the opinion that online dating (even fb dating) is not advisable. Miyagi, in the second response talked about people looking for booty, but then finds it necessary to attack me. How senseless is that? Did you read where I stated that I have met some great friends on fb? I made that clear too. I also said that if a genuine friendship develops and leads into a relationship that is fine but to jump directly into an intimate/love relationship shows desperation. I made my comment to the person seeking advise and I stand by what I wrote to her. If anyone has a problem with that then that is their shit. Anyone who chooses to attack me based on what I wrote that’s their problem. Like most sensible people advised this woman should give up on this man becasue there is clearly something shady.
Please keep in mind that for the generally American population, social network is far different from a dating site. It is not typical for someone to knowingly go on a social network to ‘find love’. Maybe in other parts of the world, but this bx gives us the creeps and we get suspicious of people’s motives.
@B.B, maybe your problem is with the way I write. If you find it offensive then that is your problem. When has grammer been offensive except to those who are intimidated by it? Get a life.
the problem with your is common sense. this site is not an American site. it’s a Ghanaian site run by Ghanaians. why do u keep referring to what America thinks? what America thinks means nothing to me. people also defraud on dating sites so your comment is pointless.
stop all the america dis, america dat nonsense. America doesn’t rule the world.u’re making it sound as if what america thinks is what everybody should go by. dats bull and u know it.
Hey Girl!
DROP HIM LIKE A BAD HABIT! I bet you, he’s in a relationship and you don’t want to waste anymore of your precious time on him. Trust me…you should be happy that you’ve not been intimate with him. You have nothing to lose here so DUMP HIM and move on to something better!
Erica first of all face book is not a dating site. Have you seen your boy friend face to face before? please forget about him as he might even been telling lies to you. You will definately find somebody soon. All the best.
Totally agree with you. I thought about that too, did she talk meet him on skype or oovoo? As some of my friends always say, a word to the wise is enough.
Your are really wise it already states that she has been calling him so why do they need skips and all that bull crap but I will surely come back to you on this one your mad funny be ready I will love to debate with you
you intellectually deficient retard, you’ve already been addresses, undressed and redressed. Go away I’m not talking to you. Obvoiusly you don’t know the difference between using a phone, skype and oovoo. You don’t need to ‘come back and talk to me’. You’ve been dismissed. That’s why I don’t talk to men like you, you behave like you have 2 tongues.
WELL,ITS NOT ADVISABLE TO CONTINUE.IF HE WANTS U,HE WILL AT LEAST INBOX U.THE MSG IS CLEAR.TRY TO 4GET HIM OKAEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
if u’ ve met somebody on facebook and he doesn’t get in touch anymore why are u tellin us??? did u seek our opinion b4 deciding to “date” him???
he’s givin u the brightest clue and if u don’t get it, i don’t think anything we’ll say here will mean a thing. the guy simply is not interested anymore, get it into your head. dis is what happens when u girls feel dat most def u should date someone outside.carry your own cross, if u feel it’s too heavy drop it the hell down.
i like that thats a good feeback
Miyagi, wonko minko anaaaa……..lol
Lmao
cmon u dnt talk like that watever u call yuhself…guys out here dances to the tune u gals out here play…cmon get straight woman
zulu your name suites you
you’re right Miyagi, the name also rhymes with Mumu…..
Hahahahaha
why start a relationship on the internet?
i thought we knew better
Defeated hahaha at no more li I said I will be back for you trust me and I will surely show you some sense untill than you can keep on writing your dumb comments good night this ain’t a game to be defeated but will be back goodnight
Lol B.B our crazy for this one you know haha after that prick nearly wrote a book I salute you
I don’t know what the heck you Ghanaian girls want in guys living abroad. everything abroad attracts you like nectar. its about time you stopped this silly display of self inferiority and got serious with your lives. i’m quite sure you might have rejected the proposals of guys in your neighbourhood about whom you know everything and whose whereabouts you can hardly doubt. you rather opt for some imaginary figure……you’re just being absolutely STUPID. get serious in life. alternative you can decise to go on with this romantic odyssey if it pleases you!
Here we go again, before I clarified my position based on culture you had a problem. Now that I’ve made my clarification you still have a problem. Now I see that you just have a problem in general. Good luck to you in sorting out your problem. No wonder the Ghanaians here have taught us that they are suspicious of their own. A word to the wise is enough. I can say I understand what your fellow Ghanaians are saying.
Opanin, Here we go again, before I clarified my position based on culture you had a problem. Now that I’ve made my clarification you still have a problem. Now I see that you just have a problem in general. Good luck to you in sorting out your problem. No wonder the Ghanaians here have taught us that they are suspicious of their own. A word to the wise is enough. I can say I understand what your fellow Ghanaians are saying.
i know dis girl. shes been talkin 2 ma brother nd i always wondered y she is de one calling nd not him. ok now i know u met on FB. lemme tell u whne u call nd i tell u he’s out im lying, hes there wit his spamish girlfriend. im sorry its de truth u shd b happy u didnt sleep wit him
a similar thing has happen to me.i met a guy and we fall inlove about three months ago.he is not a ghanaian,he is from one of african countreis.when he was living he promise heaven and eathe to send me emails masseges,well nothing like that happen for about three weeks so i told myself is shall be well i have wait.i waited another week nothing hapened so i got one of his freinds from facebook rted i chated with him and i ask him i want to know if he has heard from his friend he said no but if got any news he will let me no .later my boyfriend called to tell me his phone got lost dats why i,ve not been hearing of him fom there i thought everything was ok he even invited counytry which i accept then things started changing when i called him,he will not pick and he will not call back,even when he calls he will give alot of excuses so i stop callin he is not worth it .he does not seem boreded now i no the kind of pperson he was.
Love on the internet does work, you just need to meet the right person. See my new book Letters to Bangkok available on Amazon in paperback and ebook about love blossoming on the internet between an English University Marketing Manager and a Thai surgeon, a true story of dreams and destiny see web site above
heheheh my reply is to read one of my books on relationship n the approach of a man to a response of a lady true reality,point u will never forget.
You are just not serious……..Maybe you are just a Gold digger..thinking he is in USA so he is better off…I am just surprised that u refuse to see the writings on the wall….or u want them to be written in CAPITAL LETTERS? Then continue wasting your time on Mr. USA. GOOD LUCK…