GC Life 101: What About The Other Child?

7 min

The expression on her face truly meant she needed a child. Many young African women after years of searching and waiting for the right man keep waiting for the next big thing to happen in their lives.

The proposal sets in and after years of waiting while friends and family tie their knots, who dare say “No I will Not Marry You”? The “Please Would You Marry Me” has become a procedure requirement with a known default answer, “Yes” , followed by a sudden perfect jump into the sky.

It is only God who knows how many times these jumps have been secretly rehearsed in front of the big mirrors of the bathrooms, bedrooms and living rooms in anticipating for the day of proposal.

Now the day has come and the snail walking man has pulled the big shot. Few minutes after the jump, if it was at a dinner, champagne glasses are knocked against each other and sips carefully taken.

Quickly, “Can you excuse me for a minute, I need to use the rest room” follows. Did you not expect it? Come on, she picks her big inflated designer bag and dangles the waist lined with beads beneath the smart dinner dress and makes her way to the toilets.

In a rush, most ladies only realize they are mistakenly entering the gents when they touch the doors. Like most women are programmed to function the same way on such day, she missed the ladies’ entrance too.

As if she just bought the phone, she could not even find the dialled numbers or the contacts icon to fetch “Akosua’s Bruwaa”, her best friend and playmate of “We Are Waiting For Him To Propose FC’s” number.

When she finally grabs the number, the phone rang and rang without answer at the other end. “ Akos pick up, pick up girl, what is this girl doing that she is not picking up” she said. It is midnight and yet she does not realize it.

She quickly checks her watch and figures out why Akos is not answering. “ She maybe sleeping”.  “Oh, Cynthia must be up watching her late night TV programmes, let me tell her then” she says in disappointment as Akos could not be reached.

“Cynthia will not be very excited for me like Akos would have, all the same I will tell her, she can lament over my coming wedding and die in pain, after all, I didn’t ask her to cheat on her so called rich boyfriend”, she murmured.

As if Cynthia was the old spirit that forsees things before they happen, she was in bed snoring with her phone switched off.  “Oh her phone is off, let me try Akos again”. I think she just said it’s midnight and Akos might be sleeping. Akos’s phone went unanswered again.

Hmmm!, no one to break the long awaited for proposal news to, so she quickly dropped the phone in her bag and fetched her make-up. She gives a quick brush over the face and steps out of the rest room to make way back to the dinner table.

On her face was a glittering smile and in her mind was a disappointment of not being able to communicate the good breaking news to her two friends. It can wait for tomorrow, cant it?

Soon, dinner is over and far from what she expected, she was not asked to spend the night in “His” flat. The driving is towards her house and since she still lives at home, it surely means she was going to sleep alone. She thought such wonderful news should have been celebrated a bit more in bed.

Did I say wonderful news? Surely it is wonderful for her, but for the person who has been dragging his feet for years, it is a burden, a mountain of commitment on his shoulders and a bag of nagging and expectations awaits him to pick up.

From that day onwards, it was from one wedding catalogue to another. Countless names were listed on papers as she scrutinized their loyalty over years to help her choose her perfect bridesmaid.

The wedding came and went. The much awaited for day was glamorous, full of laughter and well wishers graced the occasion with smiles and beauty. Like just any other day, it passed and ushered the newly married bride and groom into the realities of marriage life.

As “convention” in Africa demands, once married, baby should be next. After 2 years of fighting the battles of marriage and having to always reassure the in-laws that “God’s time is the best”, reality and desperation was catching up on her.

Medical check ups upon check ups came and went, from one Gospel Crusade to another, Religious Revivals and Prayer Meetings were regular places of visit; her desperation for a baby led her into many secret places of life. A time came when she thought God had forsaken her and even considered alternative powers.

Marriage after all was not that flamboyant and settled as seen from the outside. If the Husband had not stood firmly with her, she would have given up on life, the beauty she saw in marriage and the hope she had in God.

The baby was not coming and the external pressures from the man’s family increased as days passed by. Life is surely a bitch; it is playing its bitchy card on her.

Seated next to me on an Easyjet flight from Paris to London was this gorgeous young lady of about 32 years narrating the above to her primary school class mate she had surprisingly met on the plane.

Sitting behind them at the window’s wing side was me, holding an in-flight Magazine, pretending to be reading. The conversation of these two young ladies was far much interesting than the perfume and other electric gadgets the Magazine wanted to sell to me.

She has been to all places, she has tried every medicine, from orthodox to scientific and her loving husband who has always been comforting her seems to be giving up on their pursuit for a baby. She has lost hope in life and in her God.

The tone of her voice went softer and softer, sounded like she was being moved far from my seat. Her desire and desperation for a child has really consumed her focus and direction in Life. She wants a child and that is all she needs.

I felt sorry and touched by the conversation though I was not part of it. I did not even think she recognised my presence. She was far from reality, overshadowed by her narration. Expectations and realities are really not friends, sometimes they never meet in life.

As they continued their conversation, I said to my self, “What about the other child?”. What was meant to be a thought in mind came out of my lips so loud that, they heard it.

Quickly two heads were facing my direction. “What child?”, she hurriedly and robustly asked. I wish I was bold enough to have mentioned it to her. I was caught off guard since I never meant to be part of their conversation; I did not even want her to know I have been listening. All I could say was “huh?”, but to be frank, I meant the other child. Adoption!

She had not considered that at all and most women desperately looking for a child never give that a thought. It is a perfect option that really works if only one can embrace these children and love them as her own…..


GC Life 101 is a new feature we are introducing on GhanaCelebrities.Com. This will look at various life realities in short story forms as we try to entertain, educate and inform our readers on a variety of life experiences…

Chris-Vincent Agyapong Febiri, Founding Editor
Chris-Vincent Agyapong Febiri is the Founding Editor of GhanaCelebrities.Com , a Film Critic and a Human Rights Advocate; he holds 2 masters degrees in Law; International Human Rights Law (LL.M) and Legal Practice Course (LL.M) from University of Leicester and Nottingham Law School--and also a degree in Law (LL.B) from University of East London. He's a Professional Truth Sayer and he is the author of the popular eBook “Success is a Right, Not A Privilege.” He currently works at Adukus Solicitors in London--where he uses his legal brains to kick real ass, for the good of clients and humanity. Contact: [email protected]


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    1. Thanks for reading and commenting, glad you love it…Since it is a new feature, be expecting more and more from us as time goes on…

  1. sometimes its difficult to adopt cos u dont the child you are bringing into the life. He or she may make the marriage or break it and thats why most people dont consider that. However, some of these kids also bring good luck and you also get to conceive along the line. i dont really know my stand on this.

    1. True talk … Some of these kids have their own issues but looking at the bigger picture, it is a viable alternative…

      Thanks for reading and commenting

  2. This is a really well written story shame there isn’t more of it. I would love to adopt one day, I really would I guess it scares people to adopt as they think they may be bringing a problem child into their homes but to be honest that could happen with your own so really that isn’t enough of a reason not to. I even would love to adopt outside my ethnicity if poss! Great post Chris…when’s the next one??!!! 😉

  3. There are hundreds of them in the Osu Children’s home. Some facing very grim abuses; revealed to us by  a great man called Anas Aremeyaw Anas. 

    Those “other” children would be happy to occupy homes of childless married couples.