Love & Relationship: I Am 25 And A Homosexual, Finding It Difficult To Tell Friends & Family, Please Advise!

3 min


Dear GC,

It has been difficult for me to put this down but I have no option than to hide behind the computer to seek advice to a problem which is swallowing my whole personality, my today and my future.

I am a young Ghanaian of 25 years living in the United States currently studying for my master degree. My life is on a good course and I am happy about my achievements so far. My family and friends are proud of me, so is my church.

I have been told on countless occasions that I will make a good husband. My parents’ friends constantly make jovial comments like “You have to marry my daughter; you are one fine and ambitions gentleman”.

It all seems great and perfect to them. However, behind this gentleman lies a dark secret that I am finding difficult to let them know. I am confident about my sexuality. At least when I am not at home and far from known people, I am the proud black gay brother who will fight for my sexual orientation.

I have a partner here in USA but recently, I have met a young Ghanaian living in Accra who is also sure of his sexuality and we are planning to meet. I am helping him to get to come to USA by the end of the year.

Meanwhile, I am planning to visit him in Ghana this coming summer. I am happy as to the progress of my relationship with this young man but I still cannot make it open to my family and friends that I am not what they think I am, I am still loving but belongs to a different sexuality.

Being a homosexual is not a big deal in USA, but with my Ghanaian community, it is a headache, I am worried as to how my family and friends will accept my sexual orientation. How do I even tell them? Where do I start from and where do I end it? What would be their reaction? How will I be accepted when I finally make my trip to Ghana? This is eating me up slowly, please help!

Kevin

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Dear Kevin,

As I explained to you, though I am well affiliated to Ghanaians, I am still a foreign chick with a Ghanaian boo and still learning about your people.

I cannot therefore give a good advice on this as I am not sure how Ghanaians (friends, family and the community at large) would deal with this.

I would therefore throw it on here with the hope that, the readers will give you a pretty fair idea as to how do go about with your pronouncement, what to expect with your family and eventually what to expect when you hit the shores of Ghana.  Good Luck

Regards,

SassyChic!

Send all your relationship & Love  probs to me via [email protected]



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Sassy Chic

66 Comments

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  1. Hmmmmm difficult one! Thing is no how they react the lies will or already have gone outta control. Think about the hurt ur partner will feel if u leave years down the line.

  2. ayeeee hmmmm wonders shall never endd . ! I am not a fan of homosexuality so I can’t help you…sorry…but since you’re saying that being a homosexual isnt a “big deal” then why do you care what people will think ? I don’t even think you’re sure about being gay . May God help you…maybe He wont because He’s not a fan of homosexuality either .

    1. @flawless x3 what’s up homegirl I got the best solution for this babylon you sinds he needs advice well let me think. ………I think I know the right person who can advice him OSEI OSEI OSEI OSEI OSEI where are you one of your paddy needs advice and think that you are the right person to advice him 

      1. @ Miyagi lmaoo you got me dead hehe i thought I was mean lols but seriously I was expecting him to ask for a solution to the fact that he’s homosexual considering the fact that he’s a christian who believes in God….& he knows God is against it ….But rather he’s asking for help as to how he’s going to tell people about this….& he’s also bringing his gay partner or should I say “husband to be” abroad..twww Anyways Miyagi nothing much just living & you ?

        1. Flawless Hahahah dude git some nerves WTF oh my oh my he is a Christian and is happy about saying that give me 5 minutes with him in a boxing ring with boxing gloves and a fine nubian queen and I will truly show him some sense I can’t believe this 

      2. @Miyagi,ur hatred towards homos tell de sort of person u are?homosexuality has existed all throughout history and is present in birds and mammals, as well as [email protected],to the best of my knowledge Sexual orientation is a CHOICE,so kindly move on wit ur life if u think thats wat u want and avoid listening to ppl since no one is PERFECT.

        1. @Osei thunder fire your big lips it’s tells me the type of person I’m and so what I guess I tells me where it has landed you, You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen Fool i keep telling you that you must be the arithmetic man you add trouble subtract pleasure divide attention and multiply ignorance

        2. @ Osei by the way what flavour do you tast when you lick on a ice cream of the same gender and what tooth brush do you use my god change cause your missing alot 

        3. @ Osei

          Doug, what side of the planet do you reside? I hope you’re not one of the creatures from the “Mars Attack.” Tell me, how the FUCK history been homosexual (gay) existed throughout animals and human? Though, I don’t really go through the whole entire Bible nor read my Muslim friends entire page of the Koran but correct if I’m wrong. According to the Bible didn’t the Lord instructed Noah to gathered majority of animals both female and male into the Ark?

          Dude, I never saw male dog sucking and fucking another male dog or heard God create Adam Vs Adam. I heard the Lord created “dick Vs pussy” not dick Vs dick.

          Now listen, as for humans, I took academic world religion when I was in high school and According to the history philosophy homosexual never exit during the creation of mind-kind. It was some “IDIOT” and yes I’ll say it again “IDIOT” human beings idea of forming homosexual. If you think it was the Lord idea of homosexual then you must be delusional. 

          Let it be known I don’t hate gay people as a person or I don’t judge them but hate what this folks has become. My advice to Kevin is that homosexual is not a beautiful thing and you’re BREAKING the law marriage.           

      3. OMG!!! Miyagi, u r soo funny,……U got me cracking up here dis early morning…
        Wat u said was crazy…Thanks for making my morning tho, dont think that I even need breakfast cos this is beyond it…….

    2. The only advice I will give you is to slap your self really hard and repent fool don’t you know how sweet our Nubian girls are damn it oh boy if you where standing near me or something I would have slap some sense in you how the hack can you be enjoying from another mans sh*t hole the only advice I can give you is go back from that day you started being one and change your mind to our Nubian queen while their are nice sisters with sweet dark chocolate skin coca cola shape nice watermelon and big big pillow case to put your head in your standing their wording about how your looking for advice while enjoying with the same gender you are a idiot a big fool 

    1. @pampro this dude is mad while there are sisters walking out there walking in the street ass bouncing up and down like some basket ball he is talking about getting advice about how is going to tell his friends and parents that Useless goat 

      1. eeeei miyagi ….ass bouncing up and down eh ..hmm i bet u been watching the ladies much ..lmao
        ur comment on this are sooo funny …lol

        1. @mother ha ha ha ha lol you guys are too much I can’t take my eyes from it they will be walking on their stilettos and shaking it all the way and sinds I’m single I can entertain myself with it lmao next time I will buy all ready made popcorn and walk behind whoever is passing and enjoy my 42inch wide screen bouncing b- ball than 

        2. imagine dese sistas with all ’em boobs and ass and u go smooch your own brother,hard body and all?? dats stupid mehn………why u dey lack feelings or your winny no dey job well????

  3. Hmm this is a  tough one as you already know this whole gay stuff dont work well in our Ghanaian community is  realli something we dislike , so finding support here wont be easy no hard feeling  we going to give you tough love  and tell it us it is cus thats what you need now ..
     First of all you saying ur Christian  then you should no better that God is even against it. pls pls i dont no how this whole gay stuff started with you, but i think ur just confuse  and need recheck I dont believe  in the whole people were born gay stuff is a lifestlye you choose n accept . A guy with such achievement need a lady as his  backbone not another guy to do (trumutrumu with) excuse me lol.  Comon now realli  Sit down and think because ur just confuse and lost. Mede3 i wont even advice you to go ahead on this . Telling ur parents  is another story you no u can give ur mom a heart attack  all jokes aside. No Ghanaian parents will  take such news easily . wont be surprise if even  disown you so think twice berma. About this guy u want to bring to US bad bad idea 
    how well do you know him? how do u know he love you to that extend?  how do u know his intention is not just to travel abroad. Wisen up and wake up from this .For all you know we trying to get ride of all the ones in Ghana and you adding up lol. 

    1. Irene go shake off those cobwebs from his eyes….he needs him a gud ass woman to rock the daylight outta him.bring him bak to earth baby cos he is so so far away.

  4. My brother, if I understood u well, in your heart,what do u want to do. Do you want to stop practicing the gay thing nd that u need a help OR U want to be ur gay but re finding it so difficult to tell ur family nd the ghanaian community.

      1. @troy Du bist ein verdammter idiot if your talking to me or maame Geh und fick deine Scheiße Löcher bitch ass Batty boy

  5. I am really interested in helping you. it might not be what you what to hear but the truth always hurt but homosexuality is a sin. Sin of the flesh is highly detested by God. Sex was made mainly for us to reproduce, as a gay couple reproduction is impossible without the help of a third party.
    Give you life to Christ to direct you he is the only WAY TO HAPPINESS. God bless.

  6. i disagree with osei s view all the time on this site,but i do believe that each one is entitled to his own opinion.osei may not be the best person to ask for opinion on this issue,b/c as christians we have our own take on this issue which is biblical.osei is a muslim ,and for the fact that their religion did not tell them much on this ,it becomes individual  affair to them .that is why many homosextuals believe that muslims accepts them,more than christians.outside this many muslims do not like homosextuals.they consider it as sodomy just  like christians.but in this world of dirty politics ,some muslims has started using homo issues  in politicing,thereby telling homos to convert to muslim,b/c they accept them. one question though for osei -for thefact that homosextuality like prostitution has been for a long time does that mean  is acceptable to god?.i a lso do not believe that society has to kill them or destroy them,but have to firmly make it it clear to them where we stand on this ,b/c at the end of the day,judgement belong to god.as for the writer that is seeking advise,there are no easy way to this b/c p/p have different opinion about this .in other words what is good for the geese may not be good for the ganda.this is a decision you have to make for yourself,b/c it comes  with a lot of responsibility on your side and on the side of  your family.it is really heart wrenching and terribly painful, mostly on the side of the family who always feel like they have lost a child .

    1. Islam does not allow Homosexuality in any way and i have never heard of any religion that allows it. Islam condemns it to the highest degree and does not compromise on homosexuality in anyway.

  7. I honestly feel sorry for all gay/lesbians. when will people learn to learn them alone and let them enjoy life as any other human being?

    Kelvin, i dont know how your family will react when you tell them the truth, i wish you were my family, i would have gladly opened my arms to you and your partner.

    It’s better you dont tell them now, at least until you are ready for whatever consequences…………

    I wish you all the best……….

      1. @ B.B so what is your point ? It’s like you’re saying two different things…just like I said before, we’re not here to babysit & to make others feel good about doing something that’s wrong…No way . The truth hurst but you cant run away from it .

  8. Find one person in your family who you believe will listen to you without judgement. One person who you know you can trust. That person should be able to listen to you and understand that you are holding him/her in confidence. Get their opinion on how to share your situation with the larger family. Be open for their reaction to you. Keep in mind that this will be as uncomfortable for your family as it is for you. Be prepared for possible rejection as much as you are hoping for acceptance.

  9. Being a gay is demonic and you shouldn’t even entertain it. the best advice we can give to you is to get delivered out of it cos the LORD made them male and female from the beginning and not male and male. this shows how demonic and devilish it is to be a homosexual.

  10. don’t mind him he doesn’t know what he is missing, he is missing cowbell not just cowbell plenty thing dey for women 

    @John lol take it easy please tell these ice cream lickers what the missing and yet he is here talking proud 

  11. eiiiii miyagi woye bad ooo.. so wen the women or girls are around you notice everything hehehehe se how ur giving descriptions to erthin..lol woye gyE..looooooooooooll

  12. this is very serious…GAY paaa die3 aden…a young ghanaian boy paaa….am so shocked….am not judging you but it is my prayer that God will deliever you from this bondage of sin. Remember Sodom and Gomorah, one of the reason why that city gor destroyed, was this gay/lesbian thing…it is demonic and GOD HATES it. Please dnt feel bad and miresable reading all these comment here…but i believe we all want the best for you. and with you considering telling ur family n friends, plssssss DNT BOTHER..cus it might bring sorrow u know ur mum might hv heart attack or dad i mean God forbid but if you cliam you are BORN AGAIN christian, then you’ve got to come of this bondage by force…or else you cant be the light of the world as you know the Bible confirms that we are the light of the world….God bless

  13. Let it be known I don’t hate gay people as a person or I don’t judge them but hate what this folks has become. My advice to Kevin is that homosexual is not a beautiful thing and you’re BREAKING the law marriage.           

    @weapon I’m speechless I totally agree with you on that one bruh Anen to that 

  14. Kevin, i hope i got the name right. i think the help u need is not from man but God. You mentioned that u attend church. Do u really believe in God and the bible or u just go to church? This act of sodomy//homosexuality is an abomination unto God. You have to seek help from a spiritual leader or a true man of God so they can cast that demon out of u. I have help a sister(christian sister) with that problem before. The demon was cast out and now she is free, but the thing is u have to recognize and admit that it is wrong for man to sleep with his fellow man. Ghanaians indeed will not accept this lifes tyle because we are a christian nation. I am not judging u, God forbid but i fear where ur destination will be if u exit this life with this idiocyncaracy act without repenting. God loves you and is ready to change and make u a new person. I pray that God help u so that u don’t only go to church but encounter Jesus so ur life can be transformed.
    Jerry

    1. I dont know what you people have againt gay people.. Its crazy , like quoting from the Bible. Oh tell me if you do every thing exactly as it is in the Bible you dweed. If he does not come out, like tell people don’t you know he would be lieing to the people around him. well homophobes, do you think gay people need your permission before they can do something? f you are not ready to stop that nonscence comng out of yur fucking brains, then take your dirty mouths-stinking bodies to the swamp where they came from.

      1. gay ppl do not need our permission to do something so they shouldn’t come and ask us for advice as to how to break the news to their fuckin family. you’re the one spewin gabbage.i guess u also fuck a mans ass. i shock give u sef. adepa sh3 mbaa nantem…kwasia.

  15. @Osei thunder fire your it’s tells me the type of person I’m and so what I guess I tells me where it has landed you, You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen Fool i keep telling you that you must be the arithmetic man you add trouble subtract pleasure divide attention and ignorance

    i jus love dis punch line……wow……….loooooooool

    1. @Fyer1,trust me, its the best punch line I have ever heard……
      It got me cracking up yestee morning and it still cracks me up….It just made my day….Arithmetic man….LMFAO

  16. Kevin sweetie from reading these comments i’m sure you now know that the Ghanaian community does not take matters concerning homosexuality very well smh (there are many gh men on the DL because of this)…my advice to you is to sit with your parents and let them know how you feel, whether or not  it bothers you, etc…. if you are scared that it would mess up the bond you have with them get in touch with an advocacy group in your community that focuses on LGBT issues and they can help you come out. With african parents it’s going to be a bit dicey but they can still help you out. I love everyone regardless of their sexual orientation and we should all do the same…and about the guy you are trying to bring to the U.S. i wouldn’t do that if i were you bad bad bad idea….good luck and if you need help finding an advocacy group let me know and i can recommend one 🙂

  17. before i proceed,lemme say dat i’m not a fan of homosexuality so ma comment will be a lot anti-gay.
    lemme ask dis, why do u choose a shit hole when u got some juicy vajayjay waitin just for u?? seriously i can’t imagine maself locking lips with anoda dude..”smfh”..dats disgusting.
    u clain that u are comfortable with your sexuality, why den do u find it difficult to make it public?
    masa go find some pussy. if u’re realli into the ass f**king, your woman can still give u one. so u see, u get two hole for the price of one…*wink**wink*…..ma advice, forget men, women rock. i love girls…..

  18. @Kevin, i think the right time to inform your family, is when u are ready to leave such a “thing” and needed help, BUT not just telling them you are gay and it must be accepted as such, NO WAY. Being a christian as u mentioned, should desist from such an ACT. TRY WOMEN, IS THE BEST.

  19. The one thing that beats my mind about homos is that one still has to act the part of a woman. Men! why don’t you just go in for a woman.

  20. Hey man, whzt u need is a deliverance. Go and see the great evangelist n prophet. Cos wot u r doing is forbidden as a christian. Either is allowed in USA is not an excuse brov. Pls u need too be delivered.

  21. my dear brother what i will say to u is that tell your pastor abt it ones u say u are a christian and i believe the pastor will pray with u for delieverance and iknow with the prayers and canceling God will see u through brother,be bold and tell your pastor else the destroyer will destroy u.i wish u the best

  22. Kevin, I believe as a Christian the bible admonishes us to refrain from such activities. Please do not take this the wrong way. Read Leviticus 18:22, Acts 1:26-27 talks about homosexuality. The bible also tells us that all things are permissible but not all are beneficial. The first thing you need to do is to pray and then approach your pastor and seek guidance from him before telling your friends and family. I personally know a Ghanaian guy  that I grew up with. He came out and the community has rejected him. He does not have any relationship with his friends and family now so my advice will be to talk to your pastor first. As much as we see it as physical this is more spiritual thank we think. 
    I hope this helps…I pray that God will guide you through this difficult time.