Dear GC,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for five years now and we’re very much in love. I really can’t complain about much because he really does make me feel so happy and loved.
Since I’ve been with him he does everything a good man should do and more. He really is my rock and has supported me through so much. He even helped my pops out of a huge financial bind two years ago and my family and friends adore him.
My only issue is he has recently asked me for something that I really am not sure I can give him. Next week is his birthday and we’ll be celebrating his 30th and he asked me if we could do a threesome.
I really thought it was a joke but he says it would make his birthday perfect and right now I’m confused.
He’s never asked me for anything like that before, in fact truth be told he really hardly ever asks for much from me in general. He said to me he’s always wondered how it would be and when he marries me he would never ask for that.
He assures me it’s not because he is falling out of love with me but I’m not sure and I also don’t know if I can.
What if I say no and he stays but he loves me less? Or what if he leaves? All because of one thing he’s asked of me. He has said that I can decide the girl to bring and it’s not about him trying to have sex with someone else.
My friend said it’s no big deal and I should indulge him for once for his birthday. It’s not that I am shy in bed or that I’m a nun but I just don’t know why I’m not enough for him.
Maybe I’m being insecure and making a fuss for nothing as he’s never been the flirtatious type. I wouldn’t even know where to start with what to do? What if I get left out of things during the action time?
Please Advise Me
Nana Akua
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Dear Nana Akua,
Well it is good you are asking all these questions because sometimes especially we women, consider things to please our men then once the deed is done we are full of regrets that can’t be reversed. This is something you definitely need to be sure of as there is no going back.
You need to look at what he’s asking of you separately from what he does for you and how much he helps you. Doing a threesome for your man just because he’s turning thirty and he never asks for anything or because he has done so much is not a good enough reason to agree.
I’m wondering how your guy would feel if you asked for this but to bring in a man, would he go for it? You can ask, but probably not because he doesn’t want another man touching you less having sex with you! Have you considered how you will feel about another woman wanting to become intimate with you, watching your man have sex with someone in front of you? Think all this through before making such a decision.
In anything that you do for your partner it needs to be something that will make both of you happy not just your man. If you do the threesome and you regret it, it will ruin the relationship because your regret will turn to resentment towards him.
Be cautious about a man that will use emotional blackmail on you by making you feel like he will leave you if you don’t do something that makes you uncomfortable.
I can guarantee you if you do this he will come back asking for so much more. It will not end with just one threesome. Don’t start what you can’t finish with this situation.
Hope this helps!
Regards,
SassyChic!
Send all your relationship & Love probs to me via [email protected]
he is a freak. he’s been gett’n dat outside from his freaks
what he wants to do now is make it official. I call that “menage a trois”
If yousa freak…. u can go ahead. But i sense u deeply in love so, i’d say do not give in. If he loves u enuff, he should as well love n respect ur NOs.
N girl, u r only confused bcos u r using the wrong organ(heart)…….. use ur mind(brain)
DATZ TRUE LEXEKPE
cant even understand wat at all som men want in dis life.gal dis is reali evil never indulge in such acts.be firm nd show him nd tell him how grateful u re to him 4 all da thins he does for u but u cant give him wat he is asking for.if he wanna go let him go.he can equally leave u if he ask for da second tyme nd u refuse him.
U will make the biggest mistake ever if u agree to dis. You can never complain if he start cheating on u cos u once supported him. Also, if the other girl happened to like ur man´s job, trust me your relationship would go down the drain. U & ur bf can try something else, somethin u´ve ever did b4 4 dis part 5years bt not a threesome.
Allot of women are like you who cannot see themselves having oral performed on them by another woman and allot of women cannot see themselves as a part of a threesome. The question for you, is it the idea of having a threesome that is making you uncomfortable or it having one with another woman. It maybe that a mfm may be something you are more interested in doing and the last thing you want to do is participate in a threesome because you want to please your boyfriend.
My advice to you is think about what you want. Also think about if a threesome is a right decision for you. Then talk to your boyfriend about your needs and your feelings on a threesome. From there the answer to what should you do will become clearer. This is way for him to cheaton you other alternative is if he really wants a threesome than buy him a blow dole and have threesome with him than
de guy is very evil n dasnt luv u as he claims. he’s alrdy havin it outside so just let him leave n continue. aw can a guy u dasnt want to share u wit odas want u to share him wit odas. he’s only lookin 4 a way to say gudbye. 4get him n move on.
i agree with u dede …such guys are just for pure fun ..how do waana share ur woam with another man or even woamn if u say u love her …thats no repect ..he should repect their privacy and intimacy…
EI DEN UR MAN IS A SUPER FREAK N HE’S BEEN HAVIN DIS FANTASY 4 A WHILE NOW HE JST DIDN’T NOW HOW TO BRING THE FREAK OUT RATHER THAN TO ASK FOR IT ON HIS BIRTHDAY…. IF I WERE U DA MINUTE HE FINISHES HIS LAST SENTENCE EH IT DNT MATTER IF I LUV U SOO MCH N WANNA MAKE U HAPPY BUH (NKA ME DE BE TAAA NASUM) HIS BRAIN WILL START DOING PLAYBACKS.. I NOE SOMETYMES U GOTTA SPICE UP UR SEX LIFE A LIL BUH PLEASE DIS IS TOO MUCH DOES IT REALLY HAVE TO INVOLVE A THIRD PERSON…MTCHEWWWWWWWWWWW..
Dearest gal, U advise u to turn down your man’s proposal,,,,,, nothing more nothing less,,,,,,
One thing leads to another…take the advise DONT START WHAT U CAN’T FINISH.
gal dont give in.
my gal you don crazy abi thi sguy go leave u as soon u don do so leave him bf he does,the min you agree you will come back one day with a woman on your matr bed so abi think well well
Dear girl this is devilish. don’t ever give in. I don’t think this guy truly loves u as u’ve been thinking.True love can’t be shared.
Ok, so can he imagine u asking for this same favour from him on ur b’day?Well, sometimes you got to listen to ur brain, after listening to ur heart.This doesn’t make one bit of sense and am sure you realized it thats why you wanted other opinions.Girl, dont try to please that man cuz if you do so it will def. come bk to haunt you someday.Wise Up!!!!
Dear Sister, you need to think very well about what your guy want you to do for him, if he loves you very much, he can not even open his mouth to tell you that in the first place and what else do he want and you are not giving him or have, if he want to leave you becos of this, let him go, i know it will be hard for you but you need to use your head here not your heart, Peace ,N3STA.
hmmmmm, this is not something that should make you confuse. first of all how do you feel about threesome? you know it, if you want to do it or not.
if you decide to do it, dont let it be because you think he will leave you if you dont do it.
don’t do it. what gurantees that you’ll going to be with him forever. you’ll regret it later
Geez!, wish I had the audacity to ask my GF for the same on my birthday without receiving some stupid slaps which will spin my head front to back. Come on, for Christ sake, we all have fantasies and they are called fantasies for a reason, they should remain so forever.
How degrading and disrespectful is it that your guy can closely look into your eyes and even ask such a thing of you? Come on sweety, you do not need to drink petrol to charge up and kick him off the windows. Do that one time!
Such a guy has no respect for you as a woman, did I say you, he has no respect for women in general. There is nothing to be confused about, maybe you are confused as to which of your legs to use to kick into his balls hard.
Use the right one and kick him out the door, he does not respect or love you.
hmm as3m ooo. Nana Akua I would say go with your gut feeling. If you would do this to regret later then don’t do it. It may be that he is testing your “freakiness” or he is trying to put you between a rock and a very hard place. I’d say make a choice you won’t end up regretting later. The ball is in your court…. somehow I have a feeling you have already made up your mind what you want to do.
Stick to your morals and values if you have any. There should be no doubt in your mind this is very, very, very, wrong and an outrageous request. Do have any idea what a threesome means? It means you are going to be having sex with all the people each one of your partners have slept with. Meaning you are are going to contract all the organisms (bacteria and viruses not excluding STDs) each one of your partners has contracted from all of their sexual partners. You are not just having an intercourse among just the three of you but everyone those two people have had sex with. A decent man is proud of his woman, and would NEVER EVER want to share his pride (his woman) with anyone; expecially the one he intends to marry. Vice-versa if you also truly love him. It seems you have a lot of doubts, and that right there, my sister, should tell you IT IS WRONG!!! Be bold and say “NO!” The worst outcome is that he may leave you; but believe me, he will respect you for the rest of your life. Respect, to me, is more important than being popular.