Dear GC,
I’m only 25 and have been told I’m a ‘bad boy’ by not only my mates but exes too. I was never really in a hurry to settle down and hooking up and meeting girls has never been a joy for me.
I’m not trying to sound arrogant but as I am tall, dark skinned with dimples I am never short of love interests. My only issue now is I met a girl at a friend’s BBQ some weeks back and she has me trippin’ big time.
She is really the first girl I’ve met and has made me want to just stop lookin’ and chasing chicks constantly. I’ve already started calling her my girlfriend and on top of all that she is really beautiful, she’s dark like me and has a great body!
Even though it’s only been a few weeks we really get on and we try and spend as much time as possible with each other as I always want to be with her. When we met at the BBQ I told my friend I wanted to approach her, he laughed and said I wouldn’t stand a chance and I should not even bother as he knows few guys that have slept with her. I thought he was trying to put me off so he could try his luck so of course I ignored his phoney advice.
The only problem is I’m starting to wonder if he really was telling the truth about her past. We went out for drinks with my friends and another one of my pals hinted that I should be careful as he has heard she had been around with guys he knows.
I’m starting to think this can’t be just a rumour or a coincidence. I don’t want to scare her off by asking her questions and don’t want her to think I am the jealous type, as I like her and I am falling for her.
I would be so disappointed if it ends up being true. When we go out men are always trying to chat her up and from what I see she is really dismissive of the attention which makes me think it might all be rumours.
We haven’t actually slept together yet but I think it is because I am not pressuring her to. Are my friends taking the ‘mick’ or should I just confront her before things get serious?
From Michael.
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Dear Michael,
I’m glad you used the word rumour to describe the discussions your two friends have had with you regarding your new girlfriend. A lot of what they are saying sounds a lot like speculation and it’s all a lot of third party information.
The information your friends are giving you sounds very vague to me so don’t be surprised if it’s all lies. What would you gain from listening to ‘he said, she said’ type of advice?
I would really advice against any sort of confrontation at this stage simply because the relationship is very new right now, she may think you are either judgemental, controlling or too full on at such an early stage.
As hard as it might be, you need to chill a bit. After all what are you really worried about if you are yet to sleep with each other? If she is bold enough to tell you the truth and the rumours are true, it may hurt but you have not involved yourself too deeply as you would not have had sexual relations. Yes it will still be disappointing but less so because of not having slept together.
The fact is it might be that she has actually had many past sexual partners but you should also remember that you stated quite casually that you too have a bit of a reputation and it’s likely she may have heard about this also.
She may be giving you the benefit of the doubt and giving you the chance to show you are not like that with her. You should extend her the same chance and the same courtesy.
One thing I will say though is if your girlfriend gets as much attention as you say then it may be a case of men who are just saying they have slept with her and could only dream of it.
For some reason immature men have been known to do this so again it may all just be a whole lot of men gossiping ( as I have discovered men do…A LOT).
Hope this helps…all the best
Regards,
SassyChic!
Send all your relationship & Love probs to me via [email protected]
gud advise from the author….might be all lies and even if itz true itz in her past now since the guy doesn’t have a clean record either…
If your girls name is Doris then pls forget abt her. It’s just chronic with her. No matter how hard you will try she will still go out for more.
And to your info, she has a son so please probe further for more facts.
An early warnig gets you prepare for the main event. Take or leave it. So long
lol
There are thousands of Doris’s who have a son. People change, and this person may be willing to change this time around.
same dolemma as u….. the problem is not a matter of how many guys she has slept with, its a matter of were they all her boyfriends????prob’ly, she might just be a victim. you know girls wud go an extra mile to prove thier love. (as sex in a relatnshp is normal these days)…. they prob’ly break up after a while & its gone on & on …& now you next on the radar. you can set a hall amrk by being different from the other ex boyfriends by not doing what they did cos i personally dont think she went round sleeping with them… they were all her ex boyfriends & the relatnshp prob’ly didnt work after some time. however, if you are used to “USED GOODS”, YOU Can go to the BOUTIQUE & find yourself a BRAND NEW …… i am into girls with soo many past relatnshps (soo many ex boyfriends) as it makes me insecure.. so if you like me, make the right decision now!!!! (funny, cos i ahvent even made mine own decision…LMAO!!!)