Love & Relationship: I Am 21 & Having An Affair With My Married Neighbour Who Is 36, I Am Addicted To Him Though I Don’t Want To Hurt His Wife And Children…


Dear GC,

I have a really big dilemma because I’m 21 years old and I’m having an affair with my married neighbour who is 36. We’ve been neighbours for around 3 years now and ever since he and his family moved into the area, I had a crush on him.

I can honestly say it wasn’t the kind of crush where I was expecting it to go anywhere but just a little harmless teen crush. The guy is one of those people who’s really friendly with everyone he meets and chats to everyone.

He’s particularly friendly to me and my family and I would say we are really close.

I see him a lot when I’m going to the shops or something and we can always laugh around and joke about things. I’m quite friendly with his wife also.

Over time, my crush on him did eventually disappear and I started viewing him as a regular friendly neighbour. Until about 3 months ago when I added him on to my BBM contacts and we started talking on BBM as well as on the phone.

It was when we started communicating via phone that the usual friendly tone took on a bit of sexual nature. He started calling me sexy, etc etc and at first I thought it was just a joke thing.

Then a month ago I realised he had a crush on me because he told me outright and I admitted to him too that I have a crush on him as well.

If I’m honest my feelings for him came back again when we started communicating via phone. Ever since we admitted our feelings for each other things have been moving VERY quickly and intensified drastically. We’ve been ‘sexting’, talking a lot in the phone, even when he’s at work we still communicate.

Then about 2 weeks ago we had our first kiss and ever since then we’ve been hooking up regularly at a park near our area for quickie make out sessions

Even when either of us is just popping to the shops we’ll text the other so that we can meet up. We haven’t had sex yet but that’s only because we don’t want to do it at his house. Most times his wife is not in but their toddler son or his stepson will be at home. Also we haven’t had the same days off work yet.

I know this is truly bad and as a Christian I feel so bad but I just can’t stop how I feel or stop meeting up with him. I am really attracted to this guy and really curious to have sex with him and just see what it’ll be like.

I kind of feel like maybe after I have sex with him I would then be able to move on. I hate to know that I’m doing this with a married man and as bad as I feel I just can’t stop.

Reggie xxx

Dear Reggie,

I’m gonna make some massive straightforward assumptions here even though I know they’ll be huge pieces missing from your dilemma. The reason I would say to you to get out of this one real quick is because once you sleep with him your feelings will only intensify while may be he is planning on just a hit a run.

You will probably be left feeling rejected and he no doubt will carry on as normal like everything is very cool and if you like him as much as you say you do, that will knock you for six and you may wish you never laid eyes on him.

It maybe you are just curious and would not care if he ignored you after but seeing as you don’t know how you’re gonna feel or what he may do, you should not take that chance.

If you’re seeing him and speaking with him as much as you say, I’m sure the wife may already know and maybe choosing not to say. Or he has found a dodgy way to avoid accusations.

Also it maybe that he is in the habit of sleeping around so I don’t want you to be another notch in his belt. It’s a tough one though since he lives next door but you need to yank yourself out of this one!

Have you asked yourself what you want out of it all? Or if you do sleep with him and get caught can you handle the drama and what his wife will go through.

Sorry but at 21 you don’t need that kind of drama! There are fine single men out there and they are single with NO baggage and no sneaking around in parks for quick fumbles.  If you’re going to make the decision to walk away, don’t just cut him off because he will just come on stronger and you will give in! Just be a lot less available.

Hope this helps!



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22 thoughts on “Love & Relationship: I Am 21 & Having An Affair With My Married Neighbour Who Is 36, I Am Addicted To Him Though I Don’t Want To Hurt His Wife And Children…”

  1. these things are normal and it happens always. you usually become restless untill you have been able to satisfy your curiosity. until then, you’ll keep on fantisying every now and then. until finally, you get what you want and realise it’s not even as you thought it’ll be, then you brush it off , snubb the whole idea and move along. trust me, it happened to my girl once and she bodly told me about how she is feeling towards another guy & that she just wants to know how it’ll feel like to kiss him. how did you feel when you kissed him?? did it move you or push you to go a step further to try sex with him???? DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND YOURSELF??? try spending more quality time with him. think about when you two 1st met , how LOVE was like in the begining and you’ll realise how much you still LOVE him and it’ll take the married man’s fantasy off your head. all the best

  2. This one sounds kinda fishy. A case of the grass looks greener on the other side. Look Reggie, you are 21. You are not a child and I think you know what you are doing. Stop playing games. You are playing with fire and the only one who will get burned is you. Step away from the man. You are a homewrecker. Just because you’ve not physically slept with the married man, and I doubt that you haven’t, doesn’t mean you are not a homewrecker. I am pretty convinced, by what you wrote about the quickies, that he has already fingered you pussy and your mouth has already sucked his dick. I will repeat, stop playing games. Go find yourself your own man and leave this man alone. You sound like a wanna-be-tramp. There is no reason why you should pursue any kind of relationship with this man. If he fucks you and leaves you, then you deserve it. He will have no regrets at hitting it and going on with his life while acting like you don’t exsist. Get out and get out fast. If you have ears, hear.

      • Thx brol. These girls like to play games and act like they are the innocent victims. Isn’t she the one who asked him for his BB pin? Is she sending and receiving texts on the schedules to the store so they can meet. She is not innocent. If she had said she tries to stay away but he is pursuing her that would be a different issue. You think he is going to leave his wife? Who you? He sees her as an easy fuck. He just wants to try something different. If he was unhappy he would have left his wife w/o anyone prompting him to do so. 21 and acting like 16. SMFH

  3. this is normal, and it always happens. you become restless until you are able to satisfy your curiousity and after that you realise it’s not really as it seemed to be. it happened to me you know. my girlfirend boldly told me what she’s been feeling towards another guy & how she’s urging to know how it’ll feel like to kiss him. after your 1st kiss, did the urge increase / rise to go a step further? things arent as it seems you know. you might get dissapointed in the end. first, do you have a boyfriend? if yes, try spending quality time with him, picture when you two first met & fell in love, how it felt like being around him… and you’ll probably see & know how much you still love him & want to be with him , then your marreid man fantasy will gradually fade away.

  4. No good at all. You are not “Seeing” the reality here. Your own emotions are like clouds in front of your eyes Abort mission now it’ll only be more painful when it goes up into flames later on.

  5. If you go ahead and share this man with the wife (real owner), somebody will in the near future also share your husband with you! the law of karma, simple.

  6. Its kinda strange how der is no comment by any female…Reggie lemme say dis to u. I have being in ur position but the diff btwn u nd I is dat I didnt know he was married…..And wen I found out he was married, it did hurt like I had been cut with a knife(fyi, I didnt sleep wit him tho)…The funny thing is dat I still wanted to sleep wit him cos I felt lyk I have to….Then I remembered just as Eric said, KARMA. Someday some gal will do de same thing to me and it will not feel gud. So eventually, I spoke to him and we made plans to see eachother and just ‘Fuck The Horniness Out of Oursleves’. But u know wat, I didnt cos I knew that I will be de one who will get hurt at the end of the day. He will go back to his wife and kid and leave me. Therefore, as much as I had strong feelings for him, I did the ryt thing by letting him go. And, Reggie dear, u shd do the same cos u better of…..

  7. I will suggest the quicker you get out of the position you have put yourself the better, this will not work and at the end you will be bitter towards him and and his wife who is oblivious to all that is happening, i am sure the wife not being around most of the time as you said, is maybe working to support the family, have you thought of what she will do when she finds out? I said when because if you dont stop the wife will find out.

  8. I just had one of u guys emailing me via my GC account trying 2 give me “advice” LMAO…sorry people but the Reggie in question is not moi…I doubt I’m the only chick called Reggie in the world…and anyways I’m a good girl *halo appears* lol

  9. Dear Reggie,i think this is a simple matter of conscience,especially when you look at it from the Christian point of view.You know the interesting thing about life is that its the wrong things that always feel so good.Ask yourself this question:’WWJD?'(i.e What Would Jesus Do?)If you want to chill out with this guy then go right ahead but bear in mind there is always a price to pay for such acts,if not,do as your Bible tells you and move on cuz,trust me ,it will definitely pay off.Bless You,girl.Do the right thins.

  10. And nxt time sum of these chicks will come out of de hole n spite out sum garbage tht they got their heart broken by whoever.obaaaa pls do urself a favor n bounce out of tht thing.seriously y sum1’s property??plsss  

  11. You really need to find a man of your own, you will lose in the end. It’s a mighty poor excuse when a woman can’t find her own man. You can’t be that desperate, he’s only about his wife. Grown up, there’s someone out there for you. Stop being a home wrecker. Be real, and grow up. The tables will turn on you one day, when you get a husband, so don’t spoil someone elses happiness.

  12. girl……..jux snap out of this, be safe while u can…..cause the end of this is never good and will never be..tke care

  13. u know wat? am very upset how l wish l could set ma eyes on u,surely is yo brain ok? r u sure u know wat u r doing? u even have the courage 2 say that mayb if u sleep wit him l swear to God if u continue u’ll never have peace 4 the rest of your life, am truly hurt l wish u knew how,God 4give u………



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