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Tish’s Corner: Keeping Your Virginity Until Marriage…..Is It Good or Pure Nonsense & Should Men Also Save Theirs?

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Earlier on this week, I was having a conversation with my neighbour about marriage and the U.S economy. Guess I was bored so I decided to have a laugh, since he has a great sense of humour.

So I asked if he believed virgins exist and what’s his opinion about male virgins. Boy!oh!boy!, I never braced myself for the reply. Surprisingly, the 40 year old man busted out laughing.

After making me look stupid in front of him, he decided to tell me a story. There were these 3 best friends who lived in the same neighbourhood. They were friends since childhood. Attended same schools, church, gatherings, had sleep overs and slumber parties together.

When they grew up, two of these friends decided to keep themselves safe and pure for their prospective husbands. The other one enjoyed life and gave it out to every Tom, Dick without Harry.

So here’s what happened to the “two virgin Marys” with the holier than thou attitude. One was a successful entrepreneur, met this lawyer, fell in love, had a committed relationship for a year. Mind you she wasn’t giving the lawyer any.

They eventually got married and after few weeks into the marriage, she discovered her husband cannot knock her off the park. He has erectile dysfunction and was secretly seeking medical help. His inability to satisfy her was a big blow.

Secondly, her dream of becoming a mother was thwarted. Don’t also forget in every marriage if the sex is bad, so is the relationship.

On the flip side, the “all time skanky girl” among them was having a blissful marriage with two wonderful kids. The last girl who also saved her virginity found out that, prior to her marriage, her husband was riding other ladies like a horse behind her back since she deprived him from getting any.

This led to an argument which almost led to separation, because, before their marriage, they had a mutual agreement that he would wait for her no matter the odds.

After my neighbour’s excellent rendition of his 30mins story, he added, it’s just like sampling a piece of meat in the supermarket. He must know what’s good before spending his money.

Virgins are immature and have no experience on how to curl their toes in bed. According to him, the whole idea of being pure is unnecessary, since there is nothing dirty about sex but pleasure.

Being a virgin does not make you extra special or a saint and not being a virgin does not portray a corrupted slutty damaged woman to a saturated point. Besides, people who are new at something are really bad at it the first time. Their sexual encounter is always disparaging and awkward.

Defensively, he said, I’m not implying girls should open their legs every two seconds, but at least giving it up to the one you love or doing it any time you feel you are ready ain’t that bad. After all, most 25-30 year old virgins end up being loners. Why let the cojones suffer?

With that said, I never bothered to reiterate my question about male virgins. I was so not ready for another shocking reply. This was almost unheard of, especially coming from a 40year old man…

They say virginity is not the prize it used to be some time ago and if you saved yourself for marriage, then you missed out on a whole lot of fun on your way to adulthood.

Culture is constantly changing and the way virgins were viewed has somehow changed as well. They are now ridiculed and tagged as naive. Moreover, in this day and age, marriage does not mean forever to everybody.

It’s just a piece of paper, signed and could be ripped anytime. Hypothetically, you save yourself for “Mr. Right”, you meet him, get married, loose your virginity. Unfortunately, the marriage collapses along the way and you move on to another “Mr. Right”.

What will be the rationale behind your philosophy of no sex until marriage? Through media’s exposure of sexuality to the public, virgins find it hard to fit in with their pals. If a man is a virgin, he’s mocked by his peers. Regarding him as effeminate and mama’s boy…They are looked down upon.

Culture is one of the most influential contexts in which behaviour is judged. In some culture, it’s normal for a girl to loose it in her teens whiles others deem it inappropriate. When we travel down memory lane, girls were warned by parents to save themselves for marriage.

They were taught, there will be no need to buy a cow if the milk is free. A man should earn the privilege after putting a ring on it. Virginity was a priority for women but don’t know about men.

However, does it have any hidden disadvantages? It’s even hard to believe when a girl says she’s a virgin these days. Being a celibate until marriage is the most difficult thing for this generation.

They justify that, there’s something called “horny” and that alone breaks virginity…lol. So my question is, when a girl/woman decides to keep her virginity, do you view it as a bad or good decision?

Should men also save their virginity for marriage or must be experienced in order to satisfy their women? Add your comment and please try whisper in my ears as to what age you lost your virginity or when you intend loosing it…. Kidding.

This post was published on August 17, 2011 2:51 AM

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